how to pass a urine test

[zoltron]

I've got 1 of the coolest doctors around. I just had to take my yearly piss-test for the Pain Clinic where I get my methadone. Last year's test came back positive for THC & doc was OK with that.
He basically said that they're looking for people who DON'T use their pain medicine, sell it for mucho $$$, & then buy meth or coke. THAT pisses him off.
Anyway, this time I told him that it will test positive for THC & he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me square in the eye & said, "[insert real name here], if there WASN'T weed in your system, I'd be really worried about you!!"
That's my kinda doc!!bongsmilie

[trueluv720]

what products work and where do you purchase them

[trueluv720]

need something buy tommorrow
someone told me there is something called sixty second flush,
anyone heard of this.
is this stuff good and if so where would a person pick this stuff up.
or does anyone know something that works for a drug test
for pot. and of course what stores or chains of store4s carry stuff.
do not have time to order over internet

I hope someone can answer me
thanks

[its_me]

I know this will probably sound stupid...but if I passed a home drug test for pot...will I pass in a lab. I haven't smoked in 17 days and I only smoked one blunt w/ my bf. Before that I was clean 27 days....how about SureJell?

Well...I took my test...my pee came out almost totally clear. I am hoping that they do not say I tampered with it. Does anyone know if it will show up as diluted or if they could say it was tampered with since it was not "yellow enough". Any info will ease my mind. I'll find out in a couple of days...Keep your fingers crossed for me please.

[_tyranT]

well i went in for my job orientation today and she busted out a container for me to piss in. didn't even know they gonna do that and didn't get to use my detox.

fuck i'm gonna test positve for thc again on another drug test even though i haven't smoked for a week or more fuck this

[libbypup]

can labs tell if the urine is male or female? I am a female and have to take a test can I use male pee? my friend just gave her husband her pee and he passed. Thanks for the help

[Mcevoli]

My girlfriend has to take a take home drug test at the end of the month and is there any household products, like bleach or anything to dilute the piss enough to pass? We don't know the date so water and gatorade isn't going to work. Is it also possible to just straight up add water into the piss and let them test it? What's the best way to go about passing it?

[_tyranT]

water will make it bubble up and shit like that.

my advice to her is dillution you can smoke the night before but if you dilute your piss right you can pass^^^

[jesus]

goddamn reading this thread has made me so depressed


you people are so fucking stupid

no, the suregel doesn't do a goddamn thing except make you spend money and look like a jackass on the internet. THE KEY IS THE WATER RETARDS.


also, if you start popping vitamin B and your piss is neon yellow, they will obviously know that you are up to something. YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE ANY PILLS, INCLUDING VITAMINS.

if you're stupid enough to drink bleach, i sincerely hope you die, or at the very least become sterile so your genes won't further pollute the pool.

IF YOU DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN JUST DRINKING LIQUIDS, THEY WILL SUSPECT SOMETHING AND MAKE YOU DO ANOTHER ONE AND SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU NOT TO DRINK SO MUCH FUCKING WATER.

on the other hand, if you just drink a lot of liquids and they say boo, just tell them that you're on the cross country team and have to drink a lot of water, or if you don't drink enough water you get crippling headaches. i dunno, make something up that is at least plausible.

goddamn

[30_Units]

I just would like to mention that I've had many years on probation and this tek has always been what I've used, without fail. Once again, many thanks Jesum.

[reames]

does anyone know of something to do on a daily basis to keep you detoxified if one was smoking every three days or so

[30_Units]

No. That's retarded.

[Mr. Puff_A_Lot]

i just passed my drug test using someone else's piss....used 2 white owl blunt tubes(just barley reached the line on the cup..u might wanna use 3!)...wrapped a pain relieving heating pad around em..stuck em between two pairs of briefs ..and bang

passed

[-Illfaded-]

i just passed a drug test.... without doing anything but drinking water. i couldnt have cheated if i tried, they made me strip naked and wear a gown with it open in the front. ha

[tailindil]

God, tests seem to be frequent in the states!

I've had a few jobs in England and France and never have had to take a test

I think the only time they test us is if you are driving, but they cant tell whether you were high or you had smoked like 2 days before, so they stopped it and now try to use another sort of test...

[freshley snipes]

I was really worried about my UA for my new job.. I mean, if I didn't get it I'd be evicted and hungry! haha. I was a running a bar, managing and bartending for about 2 years.. smoked everyday.. atleast a couple bowls during the day before training (muay thai around 1pm, and bjj later around 5).. then go to work, get out at 3am. smoke a 1 gram blunt with the boys or lady friend.. pass out, do it again the next day. I know.. livin the good life haha...
Due to some issues with the city and surrounding residents we were forced to close the bar down.. ever since I was scouring the city for a new bar job... no dice, everybody is staffed up and don't give a shit about my credentials. Luckily I had a couple homies working for a huge beer distributer whom I met through the bar.. I go and talk to them and a week later I'm called for an impromptu urine analysis!!! holy shit
I told them I had a prior engagement and rescheduled for 3 days later... Now, I teach muay thai and boxing at a local mma club, and also train 6 days a week as well.. so I'm pretty active, I hang out about %15-%18 bodyfat, 6 foot, 195.. so I'm in pretty good shape.. I stopped smoking for 11 days all together..
the day before, about 12 hours out I began drinking water, slowly made my way through a gallon.. then a 32 oz gatorade.. then sipped water til about 6 am (I'm a night owl).. then took a nap (I planned on just an hour and a half or so.. BUT OVERSLEPT!!) I thought for sure that I fucked myself when I woke up to see 9:30 on the clock.. I only had 1 hour to get pissin again..
I chugged another 32oz gatorade and 4 20oz glasses of water.. then drank a 16oz can of ROCKSTAR energy drink on the way up there.. I think I must have pissed 5 times before I got there... then they made me wait another 30 minutes to piss when I arrived, I thought I was gonna explode!! haha

3 days later, I get the call, UA came up clean and I start this weekend!! can't wait to start workin again.. but most of all, cant wait to spark that haha, thanks to everyone who contributed to this post, ITS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

[modest stoner]

this thread can def be used to my advantage

[crayfishman]

When you quit consuming pot it will stay at a very high level in your system for 4 or 5 days. After that it will drop off to a low level that may be detectable for up to several weeks. Therefor, it will greatly increase the effectiveness of any flushing method you use to abstain for at least 4-5 days before testing. This is not normally a problem for job interviews or scheduled probation testing. Smoking right up to the test would require charcoal flushing which some hospitals use for poison treatment but I dont have the energy to go into right now. If you smoke right up to testing probably the best bet is substitute urine or urinators which again is a whole nuther chapter. Good Luck.

[JonBlaze]

Okay been gathering info both "factual" and "fictional", cuz there is some much out there.

Been blazing for about 8-10 years on and off. I've been fortunate enough to pass the UA test in the past through substiting but because of pre-employment screenings I can't do that anymore because it's being sent off to a lab and too many problems with keeping it warm and other problems with that. So I've been forced to run my own trials regarding this subject.

I am 6'1 about 190# and I exercise 7x a week. Running about 20-24 miles per week as well as weight training 3x a week. So my metabolism is above average.

Okay so heres the experiment 36 hours prior to testing <~ I know real short notice!!!!

Drank 1 gallon of water in one sitting and later in the evening 2 liters of Seltzer.

On day of test
2x16oz Starbucks black coffee, then 64oz water, followed by a mixture of 64 oz Gatorade & 2 packs of Sure gel.

Peed about 2x times prior to the actual test. At the actual test site I peed into the cup mid stream. The color wasn't a bright or dark yellow, but a light yellow.

I'll update in about 2-3 days. Hopefully w/ good results.

What do the pro's think?

[crayfishman]

Sounds like you have a good chance of passing. If you want pretty good info thats fairly up to date I would suggest looking at the High Times website or the NORML website.