how to pass a urine test

[JonBlaze]

Tested Negative, but too diluted. I thought it look too light shit need help with this,whats the word on Vitamin b? What is the general consensus regarding dosage. I've got a re-test on Thursday with a chance they may request a hair sample but I am hoping they won't.

[JonBlaze]

Re-took the test, came up positive. Legal cutoff limit is 13% I thought it was 20% (WTF?) I had 18% but possibly more considering how dilutes the sample was.

I drank a shit load of soda (instead of h20) and a few gelatin packs prior to test. Big mistake stick to water, drink more vita-b and play your odds. Next time I'll get synthetic.

[Praise Jah]

sit in a sauna for a few hours.

[maryjane08]

i went to court and the judge gave me unsupervised probation. will i get drug tested if my charge was not drug-related and was charged as a youthful offender? if so i was clean when i went to court on 2/15 and i smoked to celebrate that night. i smoked 2 blunts a day on 2/15, 2/16, 2/17, and 2/18! i have my first meeting with my p.o on 2/28. will i get drug tested? i have no kind of previous record at all. i haven't smoked since 2/18. i been drinking plenty of water and sports drinks and i also cheer so that will burn my fat and i am 5ft 3 and 135 pounds. on the day i go in i will drink some sure jell also. my friend does it all the time and she is on supervised probation for a drug charge. any suggestions???

[thestick]

I don't know jack about probation...but just in case you should be slamming water and Gatorade like there's no tomorrow, or at least follow the directions that Capt. Murphy gave when he started this thread.

I also have a question for anyone who may be able to help. I smoked once or twice just about every day for a few months. I stopped for 24 days and passed a piss test two weeks ago...was that luck or did all of that water and Gatorade do the trick? I smoked for a week after that, and now I haven't smoked for another week. I have a test on Friday...what's a guy to do?

[JonBlaze]

Unsupervised probation isn't as strict but probation regardless of the type is no joke it can go from freedom to the slamma quick of you fuck up. Don't the crime if you can't d the time. Don't risk it until you know what your getting into. Don't use for a few days the longer the better drink more fluids and on day of your "meeting" drink tons of fluids make sure you give a diluted urine or substitute but that maybe risky unless you know if your being supervised or unsupervised urine test.

[Ken=myFriend]

have you guys ever heard of pickle juice? all you need to do is eat then drink a cup full of pickle juice and then drink about 2 gallons of water and then go to sleep. reply if you need more instructions

[leggyredhead]

I was reading through this thread and I would like to know who is testing you guys and telling you your urine is "too diluted." I used to be a flight attendant and had to pass for a FAA drug test and a drug test for the airline and I drank so much fucking water for two days straight. I had to pee so bad by that part of the physical came around and it looked like straight up tap water. No one ever told me it was too diluted. Also, I may end up with probation for driving on a vicodin. I know, we live in a fucking police state. Anyway, if I get reporting probation, I'm just going to dilute my fucking piss. What will they do? Ask me to come back in to test? I would think if the F.A.A. didn't mind, the local cops won't. Any advice?

[alucard-dalv]

It's Friday and I have a urine test at a Dr's office for Wal-Mart on Monday. I was a quarter to a half ounce a week smoker until early-mid Jan. I have gone stretches of one to two weeks between smoking. A week ago I took two bong hits each with a liquid tab worth of marinol dripped on. Since, I have scraped the resin a few times and smoked it with stems mixed in. Does anyone know if marinol stays in your system like regular weed. I only smoke bong hits, is this better? Any suggestions?

[Swifty76]

I have a test on the 20th of this month. I went for one on the 6th and was positive. I haven't smoked for about 3-4 weeks now and think I should be fine. When I applied for college I had to go for a medical. I smoked almost 2-3 times a day and smoked the day before the test and drank tons of water that night and still passed. I didn't do this for the test that came up positive and smoked a week before but it was all rez. This is for a job thats a shit load better then Walmart. I have to go to a specific doctor for this test that only does testing for the Marine industry. The positive test was sent to my employer and I talked to the president and he scheduled me for another test. I'm going to try the gatorade and water dilution and see how that works out. I'll let you guys know.

[JonBlaze]

Dilution works if they aren't doing a send lab, but either way I'd use synthetic and swap out.

[kalwhat]

Hey Captain Murphy: You have said what I have been saying for years but people being what they are, don't believe because it's too easy. Anyone wanting to pass a urine test for drugs and doesn't take this man's advise is dumb fuck.

[leapfrog]

Originally Posted by Capt. Murphy

since i'm sick of seeing people asking this question about urine testing, i'm copying this from a previous post i made awhile ago... if a mod would make this sticky it would probably save a lot of repeated posts...

when testing UAs they detect a metabolite which is basically what your body produces while a substance is travelling around your bloodstream. the minimum amount to be considered a positive test is when it is 50+ parts per million. diluting your piss means that in the sample there will be more water and less metabolites. if a test however is too diluted ( i.e. all water no other natural waste material that your kidneys filtered out from your bloodstream ) most will count it as a positive, or at the very least make you retake the test.

in order to get around this, instead of just drinking all water, drink about 33% water and 66% gatoraide. don't take any b vitamins... they don't do shit for your urine gravity except make your piss turn a bright neon yellow... when they see that they will know you were trying to get around it. the day before your test eat a light breakfast and an early lunch, and drink a large glass of water. the next day, try not to eat anything, but if you are really hungry just eat a little something at least 3 hours before your test. about four hours before your test drink like three-four gatoraides (16 oz bottles) and one-two glasses (16 oz = one glass) of water.

when you are taking the test, first piss in the toilet for a couple of seconds, fill the cup, then finish pissing in the toilet. most of the waste material is in the very first stream of piss, and the last little bit. if by chance you actually did dilute the piss too much, just tell them that you run/play sports a lot and easily get dehydrated... drinking that much fluid is normal for you.

again, let me reiterate; THERE IS NO PILL/DRINK/CHANT/ADDITIVE THAT WILL MAGICALLY MAKE YOU PASS A DRUG TEST. ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES LIQUIDS LIKE WATER AND GATORAIDE ARE A WASTE OF YOUR MONEY.

hope this helps.

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something else i have posted numerous times that belongs here is how long it takes for the traces of pot to be filtered out of your system...

now, everytime you smoke you flood your system with THC... which is then transferred to your brain via the blood stream, then back down to the kidneys where the traces are filtered out... now, your kidneys can only filter out a certain amount at a time, so the more you smoke, the longer it is going to take to get it out of your system.

now, only you know how many times you've smoked in the past couple of weeks, so only you can estimate how much shit is still floating around your system...

the general rule of thumb, is if you are totally clean, and smoke a bowl, then it will take about 24-48 hours for your system to be totally clean again.

now, if you're smoking all day everyday, then it is going to take about 30 days (720 hours) for your system to be totally clean.

now for how clean you need to be in order to pass a drug test, i can only attest to what worked for me...

since i was being tested about once a month, i would smoke for two weeks right after i went in... now this is probably about 3-4 bowls a day...

then for about a week and a half - two weeks before my next test, i would not smoke... then when i go in for my test, i dilute my piss using my method above...

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10-08-07
UPDATE BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE CAN'T FUCKING READ APPARENTLY

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you people are so fucking stupid

no, the suregel doesn't do a goddamn thing except make you spend money and look like a jackass on the internet. THE KEY IS THE WATER RETARDS.

also, if you start popping vitamin B and your piss is neon yellow, they will obviously know that you are up to something. YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE ANY PILLS, INCLUDING VITAMINS.

if you're stupid enough to drink bleach, i sincerely hope you die, or at the very least become sterile so your genes won't further pollute the pool.

and please, don't drink "gallons upon gallons upon gallons" because you can die. if you chose to do so, please see above.

IF YOU DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN JUST DRINKING ENOUGH LIQUID TO DILUTE YOUR PISS, THEY WILL SUSPECT SOMETHING AND MAKE YOU DO ANOTHER ONE AND SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU NOT TO DRINK SO MUCH FUCKING WATER.

on the other hand, if you just drink a lot of liquids and they say boo, just tell them that you're on the cross country team and have to drink a lot of water, or if you don't drink enough water you get crippling headaches. i dunno, make something up that is at least plausible.

goddamn

Your and idiot and your full of shit. test cleaners work. i've used them the day after i've smoked and pissed clean. all gatoraide does is add electrolytes to your system and water just dilutes your piss. the only reason you passed is cuz you were pissing water that was infused with vitamins and electrolytes from the gatoraide. and if you say they don't work, then why do people that smoke everyday all day pass a piss test after drinking one of the drinks. get your facts straight before you go off trying to tell people how to live and what does and doesn't work. you're just making yourself look stupid.

[leapfrog]

Originally Posted by Ken=myFriend

have you guys ever heard of pickle juice? all you need to do is eat then drink a cup full of pickle juice and then drink about 2 gallons of water and then go to sleep. reply if you need more instructions

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!! drinking 2 gallons of water in 24 hrs is a real good way to kill yourself. it's called hydronic poisoning. all the nutrients and vitamins and the stuff that makes you live gets flushed out of your body. idiot.

[leapfrog]

Originally Posted by yungsmoke

If you're a nurse you'd know it's called "Hydronic Poisoning" And it only happens after high endurance activity followed by high water intake.

you're wrong

[alucard-dalv]

Drink Stinger 1 Hour Detox, follow directions. I pulled tubes all afternoon Sat. and passed urine test on Mon., and it was a Haze/Diesel. Stinger only cost me $22.00. All the just drink water advice is just bad advice. You will not pass without help from a detox drink. I was actually going to join the Army in 2002, the recruiter said to quit for a week and drink a gallon of tea before the physical, I did and I still had "disqualifying amount" of THC. Dilution does not work on its own, anyone who says or thinks so is a fool, I know from experience. The whole thing about synthetic, or using someone else's urine sounded like a hassle to me, so I got the detox, drank it and oh my God it worked. Don't make things harder than they are just get the drink.

[alucard-dalv]

Originally Posted by Capt. Murphy

again, let me reiterate; THERE IS NO PILL/DRINK/CHANT/ADDITIVE THAT WILL MAGICALLY MAKE YOU PASS A DRUG TEST. ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES LIQUIDS LIKE WATER AND GATORAIDE ARE A WASTE OF YOUR MONEY.

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you people are so fucking stupid

no, the suregel doesn't do a goddamn thing except make you spend money and look like a jackass on the internet. THE KEY IS THE WATER RETARDS.

Sorry fella, but you're a fountain of misinformation. It may not be magic, it's probably biology and detox drinks work.

[alucard-dalv]

Originally Posted by leapfrog

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!! drinking 2 gallons of water in 24 hrs is a real good way to kill yourself. it's called hydronic poisoning. all the nutrients and vitamins and the stuff that makes you live gets flushed out of your body. idiot.

And it drowns your brain

[leapfrog]

and to further what i said, i smoked less than 48 hours ago, drank a detox drink this morning along with two bottles of water and a sobe nofear and passed my piss test. :P

[bluntsallday4ev]

ok so look i have a drug test (rurine test) for pot in about a week or 2 now ive been a heavy smoker for about 3 years now almost every day about at least a gram a day and im talking some fire ass chronic no joke so ive been grounded for about a month now since feb 20th get off tomorow march 20th been smoking almost every friday i.e 2/22, 2/29 skipped 3/7 and smoked on 3/14 and about 1 blunt of some crazy droon those fridays what should i do to pass my piss test i dont get watched or anything i have ability so sneak in someone elses piss but im kinda skeptic should i use leg warmers or whatever to warm up the piss or should i just drink alot of water and gatorade or should i go out and buy some detox shit?!
!
stoner in need of help here!
any info wuld be much appreciated

p.s if i dont have leg warmers or anything couldnt i just put some hot water in the cup?