Funny things you saw today

Über King · 08-27-2008, 05:33 PM

woooooow, i was in London today, and i saw this jew running at full pelt across the station going after a penny the was rolling along the floor. he stamped on it triumphantly like it was a cockroach or something.

me and my mum both burst out laughing within his earshot lol.

Also in the tube, in the carriage next to us, there was a bunch of students or younguns, and we stopped in a station on the circle line, and these peoples train was just across the platform, and was gonna leave anytime soon, so they were all shouting 'QUICK GET OUT' and one was saying 'OUT OUT OUT!' and a fair few people were running off this train to make it to the other one on time. anyway, in the mass panic, some man thought we were in the midst of a terrorist attack, and got up, and ran to the other end of the carriange, and cowered with his hands ofer his head in the corner, until he realised all was fine. he must have felt like such a tool.

what funny things have you seen today?

Burner of trees · 08-27-2008, 06:40 PM

i was at the state fair and i also saw a jew. he was standing in front of the soda machine while he said to his son "lets go find another one i could've sworn i saw these same sodas for a quarter less." this was yesterday, but yeha..

Mescalito · 08-27-2008, 06:48 PM

The soi dog trying to get it on with the cat. It's getting a it old now though to be funny any more.

M

GraEm3 · 08-27-2008, 07:06 PM

send em my way?

kingmotherfuckinmidas · 08-27-2008, 07:45 PM

saw someone pissed off trying to walk out of my job in a hurry but didn't wait for me to hit the switch to unlock the door and left his face print all over the door.

The SARS Volta · 08-27-2008, 09:17 PM

omg uberking, what an awful story

i laugh regardlessly.

i saw a guy with a script tattoo on his arm. if you looked at it from one angle it read 'gentleman' and if you look at it upside down it read 'gangsta'. i thought it was funny.

Cerpin Taxt · 08-27-2008, 09:20 PM

The nurse who was trying to put in my intravenous (sp?) to put me to sleep looked like Janet Reno.

No joke.

She also stabbed my hands a total of 3 times until she got someone else to find a vein and do it right the first time.

P.S Laughing gas, percs, some other shit that makes you feel drunk before the shit that ACTUALLY puts you to sleep = a surprisingly cool wisdom teeth removal experience.

The SARS Volta · 08-27-2008, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cerpin Taxt

The nurse who was trying to put in my intravenous (sp?) to put me to sleep looked like Janet Reno.

don't lie you hit it

Cerpin Taxt · 08-27-2008, 09:57 PM

Reno style

Mescalito · 08-27-2008, 10:36 PM

I just saw a student trying to see if his balls were attracted to the magnet.

M

Parallax · 08-27-2008, 11:26 PM

i threw a clementine at this bald guy i work with

surf*and*smoke · 08-27-2008, 11:28 PM

Whenever my buddies and I have nothing to do we will go to the sports park to smoke a J, have a cig and watch the softball games. Normally we see the D1 guys that are really good, but this time we must have been watching the rec league girls team.

Overall the entire game was pretty funny to watch, but the best part was a fat centerfielder trying to catch a shallow but high pop fly. She looked like she had it all the way until it came down and smacked her right in the head. We must have been 300 yards away and we heard the smack clearly. The best part is that she totally had it, but lost it at the last second and got nailed.

She took it like a champ though, stayed up and acted like nothing even happened.

. at the end · 08-28-2008, 12:00 AM

Lol fat bitch got hit by a ball.. lolol

myxomatosis · 08-28-2008, 02:27 AM

Where I work is next to a yuppie college so there's a bunch of idiots that drive by and occasionally they yell things. We're about a block if that to a traffic light, and I always intend to run after them if they are catching a red. Tonight it happened.

I'm standing outside with two other co-workers and this car rolls by and the dude yells "faggots!", I glance over and say "red light." and the three of us take off sprinting towards the car. One of us is a redheaded dude eating a cup of noodles, so he's running up the street screaming "what the fuck did you say to me, did you call me a fucking faggot?!" with a cup of noodles in his hand. Anyway, the kids were in the middle lane of a three lane street. Left is left turn only and the other two go straight. Dudes in the car got so scared they did a right on red from the middle lane and damn near hit another car in the process. Very worthwhile and pretty funny for a couple reasons.

Lloydy · 08-28-2008, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parallax

i threw a clementine at this bald guy i work with

Kishar · 08-28-2008, 12:28 PM

The funniest thing I saw today was the Balls thread and I saw Uber King....I was wracking my brain trying to figure out who he looks like..I know you all said Harry Potter but that aint it and now i have it.... it's "Chicken Little" he's even on movies now. You guys remember that kid from American Idol.. NO offense(uber i think your cool as shit) people say I look like Conan the Barbarian..lool

Bradford · 08-28-2008, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myxomatosis

Where I work is next to a yuppie college so there's a bunch of idiots that drive by and occasionally they yell things. We're about a block if that to a traffic light, and I always intend to run after them if they are catching a red. Tonight it happened.

I'm standing outside with two other co-workers and this car rolls by and the dude yells "faggots!", I glance over and say "red light." and the three of us take off sprinting towards the car. One of us is a redheaded dude eating a cup of noodles, so he's running up the street screaming "what the fuck did you say to me, did you call me a fucking faggot?!" with a cup of noodles in his hand. Anyway, the kids were in the middle lane of a three lane street. Left is left turn only and the other two go straight. Dudes in the car got so scared they did a right on red from the middle lane and damn near hit another car in the process. Very worthwhile and pretty funny for a couple reasons.

LOL

Similar thing just happened to me, except I just jumped in my car and took off after them. Followed them in a big circle around a part of the city, and then onto the interstate, and off onto an exit, then I yelled at them a bunch, the whole "not so tough now that I'm in a car too huh" type thing, the poor kids were terrified so I let it go.

Patrick Rue · 08-28-2008, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myxomatosis

Where I work is next to a yuppie college so there's a bunch of idiots that drive by and occasionally they yell things. We're about a block if that to a traffic light, and I always intend to run after them if they are catching a red. Tonight it happened.

I'm standing outside with two other co-workers and this car rolls by and the dude yells "faggots!", I glance over and say "red light." and the three of us take off sprinting towards the car. One of us is a redheaded dude eating a cup of noodles, so he's running up the street screaming "what the fuck did you say to me, did you call me a fucking faggot?!" with a cup of noodles in his hand. Anyway, the kids were in the middle lane of a three lane street. Left is left turn only and the other two go straight. Dudes in the car got so scared they did a right on red from the middle lane and damn near hit another car in the process. Very worthwhile and pretty funny for a couple reasons.

I started carrying a rock in my pocket when I skate for the same reason. People love to shout shit.

"shout shout shout"

*ping*

*breaks*

"shout shout"

Über King · 08-28-2008, 05:21 PM

driving home from the cinema, we swerved to avoid a cat, only to end up running over a rabbit.

lulz

Mahavishnu · 08-29-2008, 10:27 PM

speaking of funny jews, about 2 months ago, my band did a little free recording session. After it was done, we stopped at BK for some chicken burgers. Well this was around the time when some salmonella breakout happened with the tomatos (any Amerifags remember that?), so all the resturants were throwing out their tomatos, and thus had no tomatos on their burgers and such. Well this older jew couple came in while we were eating, the wife had a big nose to clue us in about the jew-ness. We overhear them saying they should get their burger for cheaper because there's no tomatos on it. A dollar something burger from BK. It was so halarious we all started cracking up like 10 feet away from them.

I'm not really one to be laughing at Jews or whatever, but shit, stereotypes are halarious when they happen, amirite?

08-27-2008, 05:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
Über King yabooban Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The ÜK Posts: 2,614 Thanks: 13 Thanked 23 Times in 14 Posts	Funny things you saw today woooooow, i was in London today, and i saw this jew running at full pelt across the station going after a penny the was rolling along the floor. he stamped on it triumphantly like it was a cockroach or something. me and my mum both burst out laughing within his earshot lol. Also in the tube, in the carriage next to us, there was a bunch of students or younguns, and we stopped in a station on the circle line, and these peoples train was just across the platform, and was gonna leave anytime soon, so they were all shouting 'QUICK GET OUT' and one was saying 'OUT OUT OUT!' and a fair few people were running off this train to make it to the other one on time. anyway, in the mass panic, some man thought we were in the midst of a terrorist attack, and got up, and ran to the other end of the carriange, and cowered with his hands ofer his head in the corner, until he realised all was fine. he must have felt like such a tool. what funny things have you seen today? __________________ You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? http://www.youtube.com/user/speckyecky

08-27-2008, 06:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mescalito Land of Smiles Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 5,519 Thanks: 28 Thanked 38 Times in 25 Posts	The soi dog trying to get it on with the cat. It's getting a it old now though to be funny any more. M __________________

08-27-2008, 07:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
kingmotherfuckinmidas hps God Bless Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: on mars, under a rock, with my fingers in my ear Posts: 1,356 Thanks: 27 Thanked 33 Times in 27 Posts	saw someone pissed off trying to walk out of my job in a hurry but didn't wait for me to hit the switch to unlock the door and left his face print all over the door. __________________ none like us, so none like us. i got a real problem with stealing from whores.

08-27-2008, 09:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
Cerpin Taxt Who?? Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 4,688 Thanks: 1 Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts	The nurse who was trying to put in my intravenous (sp?) to put me to sleep looked like Janet Reno. No joke. She also stabbed my hands a total of 3 times until she got someone else to find a vein and do it right the first time. P.S Laughing gas, percs, some other shit that makes you feel drunk before the shit that ACTUALLY puts you to sleep = a surprisingly cool wisdom teeth removal experience. __________________ "Some songs have a special meaning for a man, in regards to a special woman. But this can backfire. Because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with, but now its been cheapened. "We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a better life, so lets keep on givin'..." You remember that song baby? The night I fucked you in the pet cemetary? That's our song!" -Mitch Hedberg

08-27-2008, 09:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
Cerpin Taxt Who?? Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 4,688 Thanks: 1 Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts	Reno style __________________ "Some songs have a special meaning for a man, in regards to a special woman. But this can backfire. Because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with, but now its been cheapened. "We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a better life, so lets keep on givin'..." You remember that song baby? The night I fucked you in the pet cemetary? That's our song!" -Mitch Hedberg

08-27-2008, 07:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
GraEm3 No. Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,053 Thanks: 1 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	send em my way?

08-27-2008, 10:36 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mescalito Land of Smiles Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 5,519 Thanks: 28 Thanked 38 Times in 25 Posts	I just saw a student trying to see if his balls were attracted to the magnet. M __________________

08-27-2008, 11:26 PM	#11 (permalink)
Parallax Admiral Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,736 Thanks: 23 Thanked 102 Times in 39 Posts	i threw a clementine at this bald guy i work with __________________ FUCK THE ROBOTS!!! NUKE THE WHALES!!!

08-27-2008, 11:28 PM	#12 (permalink)
surfandsmoke I Don't Want It Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Doing a buck ten on highway 5 Posts: 5,584 Thanks: 20 Thanked 27 Times in 15 Posts	Whenever my buddies and I have nothing to do we will go to the sports park to smoke a J, have a cig and watch the softball games. Normally we see the D1 guys that are really good, but this time we must have been watching the rec league girls team. Overall the entire game was pretty funny to watch, but the best part was a fat centerfielder trying to catch a shallow but high pop fly. She looked like she had it all the way until it came down and smacked her right in the head. We must have been 300 yards away and we heard the smack clearly. The best part is that she totally had it, but lost it at the last second and got nailed. She took it like a champ though, stayed up and acted like nothing even happened. __________________ Free yer bewbs

08-28-2008, 12:00 AM	#13 (permalink)
. at the end Ignorantly Enlightened Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: The sandbox Posts: 380 Thanks: 16 Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts	Lol fat bitch got hit by a ball.. lolol __________________ Warning: May contain peanuts & sarcasm.

08-28-2008, 02:27 AM	#14 (permalink)
myxomatosis music is life Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: between a pair of headphones Posts: 2,403 Thanks: 9 Thanked 90 Times in 49 Posts	Where I work is next to a yuppie college so there's a bunch of idiots that drive by and occasionally they yell things. We're about a block if that to a traffic light, and I always intend to run after them if they are catching a red. Tonight it happened. I'm standing outside with two other co-workers and this car rolls by and the dude yells "faggots!", I glance over and say "red light." and the three of us take off sprinting towards the car. One of us is a redheaded dude eating a cup of noodles, so he's running up the street screaming "what the fuck did you say to me, did you call me a fucking faggot?!" with a cup of noodles in his hand. Anyway, the kids were in the middle lane of a three lane street. Left is left turn only and the other two go straight. Dudes in the car got so scared they did a right on red from the middle lane and damn near hit another car in the process. Very worthwhile and pretty funny for a couple reasons. __________________ i went walking around the city some more people watching with a cold blank stare and i saw your face, in everyone i swear seems i never get your kick quite right i was walking slow to a dirty dive i’m so sick and tired of trying to change your mind when it’s so easy to disconnect mine "classy flicks" What I'm listening to. Last edited by myxomatosis; 08-28-2008 at 02:28 AM. Reason: punctuation.

08-28-2008, 12:28 PM	#16 (permalink)
Kishar <><><> Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: USA Posts: 1,550 Thanks: 16 Thanked 30 Times in 24 Posts	The funniest thing I saw today was the Balls thread and I saw Uber King....I was wracking my brain trying to figure out who he looks like..I know you all said Harry Potter but that aint it and now i have it.... it's "Chicken Little" he's even on movies now. You guys remember that kid from American Idol.. NO offense(uber i think your cool as shit) people say I look like Conan the Barbarian..lool __________________ Last edited by Kishar; 08-28-2008 at 12:34 PM.

08-28-2008, 05:21 PM	#19 (permalink)
Über King yabooban Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The ÜK Posts: 2,614 Thanks: 13 Thanked 23 Times in 14 Posts	driving home from the cinema, we swerved to avoid a cat, only to end up running over a rabbit. lulz __________________ You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? http://www.youtube.com/user/speckyecky