sorry if this is old

[slapstick]

but this is some funny shit! lets see how many contradictions we can spot in the hatemail section.
MAIN

[slapstick]

oh noes.

THE WARNING SIGNS

The following is a list of well known tell-tale signs that your child may be a Goth, or have fallen in with a bad Gothic element. If your child displays at least two or more of these symptoms, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is very dangerous. If these symptoms persist you child could be irrecoverably damaged for life. Not just mentally, but physically and emotionally too. If this continues, place your child into your local mental health center, and seek guidance from your local Baptist Church. If the psychiatrists can’t help, your child may need a full exorcism.



· Wears an unusual amount of black clothing.
· Has piercings or tattoos.
· Wears a pentagram, inverted cross, or an ankh (an ancient Egyptian symbol used in Satanic Ba’al-worshipping rituals).
· Wears rock or heavy metal T-shirts.
· Listens to dangerous GOTH bands such as Marilyn Manson, Rammestein, or to other antisocial music (See our 'Banned Music' section for more information).
· "Hangs out" with new friends.
· Cross-dresses or wears eye-liner.
· Eats cockroaches/bugs/insects.
· Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
· Shows diminished interest in wholesome activities, such as church, prayer, and sports.
· Dyes his/her hair black/red/green.
· Takes drugs.
· Shops at ‘Hot Topic’
· Self-harms or mutilates their own body.
· Attempts to cut off a part of their own body. (ie. fingers/arm/leg)
· Attempts suicide
· Talks about suicide
· Burns or shits on the Holy Bible
· Curses God’s name
· Owns a copy of the ‘Satanic Bible’
· Prays to Satan.
· Has friends who are losers. (ie. Doesn't associate with Jocks, cheerleaders, preppies and other normal intelligent well-adjusted teenagers - the right sort of friends)
· Has bad personal hygene.
Kills people for fun.
· Stays up late at night.
Drinks human blood.
Is a vegan/vegetarian. (Goths go from one extreme to the other)
· Watches MTV.
· Complains of headaches, boredom, nausea, stabbing pains or thirst.
· Is secretive.
· Spends large amounts of time alone.
· Spends large amounts of time with people you don’t know.
· Shoots his/her classmates.
· "Forgets" to do chores, possibly because of drug or alcohol abuse.
· Hears music which only sounds like noise, possibly because of drug or alcohol abuse.
· Uses a computer or the Internet.
· Plays video games or role-playing games.
· Has a ‘myspace’ account.
· Reads science fiction or fantasy books.
· Owns any movie by director ‘Tim Burton’ or 'Peter Jackson'
· Writes angry entries in a secret diary (you can usually find the diary easily if you search your child’s room).
· Writes poetry.(you can usually find the poetry book easily if you search your child’s room)
· Has a ‘myspace’ account. (you can easily monitor your child’s net activity by checking their internet ‘history’)
· Has friends who have retardations / mongolism / birth defects.
· Pursues dangerous cult religions such as WICCA, SATANISM, PAGANISM.
· Owns a copy of ‘Mein Kampf’
· Reads Anne Rice books.
· Owns Nazi memorabilia.
· Has paranoid fantasies (many GOTHS accuse their parents of spying on them).
· Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
· Drinks his/her own urine/excrement.
· Drinks his/her friend's urine/excrement.
· Rapes a dog/cat.
· Wears fangs or dresses like a vampire.
· Owns an exessive amount of Horror movies.
· Sticks broken glass up his/her own anus.
· Has friends who are Jews.
· Hates Jews. (Goths go from one extreme to the other)
· Attacks random people in the street.
· Talks to himself/herself.
· Uses the blood of Christian babies to inscribe pentagrams or other symbols on churches and schools.
· Sleeps too much or too little.
· Eats too much or too little.
· Looks at pornography or otherwise shows interest in sex.
Is homosexual / bi-sexual
Refuses to leave the house during daylight hours
· Refuses to eat any food containing garlic.
· Masturbates over pictures of dead animals.
· Summons the Devil or holds Satanic masses.
Smokes dangerous drugs, such as marijuana / crack cocain.
· Reads Harry Potter books. (Your children can become possessed when reading Potter)
· Leaves syringes or other drug paraphernalia around the house.
· Mocks authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors or Jesus.
· Dresses like everyday is Halloween.
· Says, "I am a GOTH."
· Wears a pin that says, "I am a GOTH."
· Talks about going to GOTH clubs or parties.
· Asks for locks of hair from casual acquaintances.
· Sleeps in a coffin.
· Rapes small animals.
· Behaves in any unusual or alarming way.

[©antSEEme]

lol! rev. jackass really hates goths, huh?

these little ironies made me chuckle..

· Spends large amounts of time alone.
· Spends large amounts of time with people you don’t know.

· Has friends who are Jews.
· Hates Jews. (Goths go from one extreme to the other)



but srsly, LOL! @ "goths".

"OMG, conformity... NO! so i will dress in all black like my friends, like only music my friends like, and make fun of anybody who's not like us because WE ARE NOT CONFORMISTS!!!!!"

[maszac]

Originally Posted by slapstick

· Burns or shits on the Holy Bible
· Has friends who are losers. (ie. Doesn't associate with Jocks, cheerleaders, preppies and other normal intelligent well-adjusted teenagers - the right sort of friends)
Kills people for fun.
Drinks human blood.
· Watches MTV.
· Shoots his/her classmates.
· Uses a computer or the Internet.
· Plays video games or role-playing games.
· Has a ‘myspace’ account.
· Has friends who have retardations / mongolism / birth defects.
· Owns a copy of ‘Mein Kampf’
· Drinks his/her own urine/excrement.
· Drinks his/her friend's urine/excrement.
· Rapes a dog/cat.
· Sticks broken glass up his/her own anus.
· Uses the blood of Christian babies to inscribe pentagrams or other symbols on churches and schools.
· Masturbates over pictures of dead animals.
· Rapes small animals.
· Behaves in any unusual or alarming way.

lawlz