jokes for the short attention span

The SARS Volta · 06-05-2009, 11:00 PM

no tl;dr allowed in this thread

What do you call a stillbirth in a hippie commune?
A midwife crisis.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' catholic.

What did the zero say to the 8?
Nice belt!

What happened when Mary had a little lamb?
The doctor fainted

The Rev · 06-06-2009, 10:50 AM

Q: How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Wanna ride bikes?

The Rev

**AlteredStateGrl** · 06-06-2009, 10:56 AM

mothernature · 06-06-2009, 01:49 PM

Q: Why do lawyers wear neck ties?
A: To hold the foreskin back.

Flamingnun · 06-06-2009, 02:15 PM

What happened to the jewish kid with ADD?

They sent him to concentration camp!

smallmac1 · 06-06-2009, 03:57 PM

Whats the difference between no money, and a corvette?

I don't have a corvette.

Kompressor · 06-06-2009, 05:59 PM

kamikazi89 · 07-31-2009, 11:28 AM

lol

Mafoo · 07-31-2009, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by Kompressor

lol

kamikazi89 · 07-31-2009, 11:35 AM

gets em every TIME

Flamingnun · 07-31-2009, 11:39 AM

I like to scare deaf people by yawning.

kamikazi89 · 07-31-2009, 11:41 AM

wet willys

R1bal · 07-31-2009, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by Flamingnun

I like to scare deaf people by yawning.

thats because the way you yawn nun is like your trying to unlatch your jaw and eat the deaf guys head

Zerø · 07-31-2009, 07:19 PM

That was disturbing.

Ø

№1 · 07-31-2009, 07:44 PM

A rabbi, a boy scout, two blondes and a giant hamster walk into a bar, bartender says 'What is this, some kinda joke?'

Zerø · 08-01-2009, 10:13 AM

The giant hamster really makes that joke.

Ø

osirus2020 · 08-06-2009, 05:15 PM

I'm pretty sure it was established years ago that dead baby jokes are somehow so morally negligent, they are not allowed.

wellfleation · 08-06-2009, 05:36 PM

Anyone of the million of MJ jokes.

badgoalie85 · 08-07-2009, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by osirus2020

I'm pretty sure it was established years ago that dead baby jokes are somehow so morally negligent, they are not allowed.

I think that was established right after it was established that you are a fucking tool.

Parallax · 08-08-2009, 09:49 PM

A boy was on his way to school when he saw the words purple passion written on a wall. He had no idea what they meant, so when he got to school and the teacher asked if there were any questions, he raised his hand. When he was called upon he asked ,"What is purple passion?" His teacher screamed at him to go to the principal.

The principal asked him why he was there and he said "When I was on my way to school today, I saw some words written on a wall and I didn't know what they meant so when the teacher asked if there were any questions I asked her what they meant and she yelled at me and sent me here." "What are the words," the principal asked. "Purple passion," replied the boy. The principal freaked out and expelled him and told him to get out of the school.

At home is mother asked him why he had been expelled, and he said "When I was on my way to school today, I saw some words written on a wall and I didn't know what they meant so when the teacher asked if there were any questions I asked her what they meant and she yelled at me and sent me to the principals office. When I got there he asked me what had happened and I told him everything and he asked me what the words were and when I told him he freaked out and expelled me." "What are the words," his mother asked. "Purple passion," he said. His mom turned red and yelled at him to go up to his room and wait for his father.

When his dad got home he said to the boy,"So I hear you got into a lot of trouble today. Tell me what happened." So the boy said," When I was on my way to school today, I saw some words written on a wall and I didn't know what they meant so when the teacher asked if there were any questions I asked her what they meant and she yelled at me and sent me to the principals office. When I got there he asked me what had happened and I told him everything and he asked me what the words were and when I told him he freaked out and expelled me. When I got home mom asked me what had happened and I told her everything and she asked me what the words were. When I told her she sent me up here to wait for you. "Well, son, what are the words?" "Purple passion."the boy replied. His father exploded and kicked him out of the house.

As he was wandering around he ran into some friends. They said, "What's going on, man? We heard you got expelled and your dad kicked you out." So the boy said," When I was on my way to school today, I saw some words written on a wall and I didn't know what they meant so when the teacher asked if there were any questions I asked her what they meant and she yelled at me and sent me to the principals office. When I got there he asked me what had happened and I told him everything and he asked me what the words were and when I told him he freaked out and expelled me. When I got home my mom asked me what had happened and I told her everything and she asked me what the words were. When I told her she sent me up to my room to wait for my dad. He asked me what happened and after I told him everything he asked me the words and when I told him he kicked me out." "Wow, what are the words?" his friends asked. "Purple passion,"he replied. All of his friends jumped him and started beating him up until a bum came by and scared them off.

The bum said,"I just saved your life. Tell me why they were all beating you up." The boy said," When I was on my way to school today, I saw some words written on a wall and I didn't know what they meant so when the teacher asked if there were any questions I asked her what they meant and she yelled at me and sent me to the principals office. When I got there he asked me what had happened and I told him everything and he asked me what the words were and when I told him he freaked out and expelled me. When I got home my mom asked me what had happened and I told her everything and she asked me what the words were. When I told her she sent me up to my room to wait for my dad. He asked me what happened and after I told him everything he asked me the words and when I told him he kicked me out. I ran into my friends and they asked me why I had been expelled and kicked out of my house and I told them everything and then they asked what the words were. When I told them, they beat me up." "So what are the words," the bum asked. "I don't know if I should say" "Come on I just saved your life, don't be ungrateful,"the man remarked. "Okay, okay. The words were purple passion." The bum freaks out and starts beating the boy up until a cop comes along and breaks it up.

The cop asks the boy what happened. The boy says," When I was on my way to school today, I saw some words written on a wall and I didn't know what they meant so when the teacher asked if there were any questions I asked her what they meant and she yelled at me and sent me to the principals office. When I got there he asked me what had happened and I told him everything and he asked me what the words were and when I told him he freaked out and expelled me. When I got home my mom asked me what had happened and I told her everything and she asked me what the words were. When I told her she sent me up to my room to wait for my dad. He asked me what happened and after I told him everything he asked me the words and when I told him he kicked me out. I ran into my friends and they asked me why I had been expelled and kicked out of my house and I told them everything and then they asked what the words were. When I told them, they beat me up. The bum came by and scared them off, he then asked me what had happened and I told him everything. Then he asked what the words were and when I told him he began beating me up." The cop said,"What were the words?" The boy replied,"Purple passion." "The cop put the boy into hand cuffs, beat him up, and took him to jail.