So I was blazing with my friend, we'll call him "a douchebag".
Me and a douchebag were blazing in a douchebag's smashed up cadillac which is basically written off and he's just waiting for his claim to be approved or whatever so hes still driving it, it's really not even that bad.
Anyways, me and a douchebag are blazing in this smashed car with a douchebag's expensive 2.5 foot bong, in the car there are also 2 heady-ass pipes, ~1 gram of extremely good weed (luckily), 1 scale, 2 grinders, and, in the breast pocket of my jacket a freshly purchased flap of dat raw alpine snizzow.
Me and a douchebag frequently blaze in his car while driving around the neighborhood late at night, which, as we would soon discover, is not a good idea.
We were driving down some shit-ass avenue, when me and a douchebag noticed some other douchebag tailgating us.
So we were like "wtf mate?" and we were looking at him while we were driving; we make a left, he makes a left. we make a right, he makes a right.
We make one more right onto a busy ass street and all of a sudden we're being lit up by the tailgater.
We can see another ghost car coming from behind and as we are sitting in the car watiting for the officers to walk up another ghost car jumps the median grassy-mediany-thing.
So the cops roll up, see the bong inbetween a douchebag's legs and ask us "where the pot is".
the female cop at my right (I am the passenger) says "my nose doesn't lie, I smell pot".
So I'm thinking they had probable cause to search the car, so I was like, well the jig is up, I might as well play the "co-operation" card and give up my gram of weed for the better good.
I hand her my sack and she asks me to step out of the car and give her my ID.
a douchebag steps out of the car aswell, and gives his ID.
The cops proceed to find all the paraphernalia in the car, and 200 dollars in my wallet.
They align all the paraphernalia on the back of the car, which is totally smashed if I didn't tell you already.
So we're chatting up the officers, doing our best to be personable and kiss ass so as to get off easily, as neither of us have criminal records, though a douchebag is a mid-level cocaine dealer who has been slacking off for too long (or not long enough?)
So I ask, "so, officers, are we in trouble here or what?"
The "alpha male" officer looks at me, chuckles, and tells us to "go home"
all 6 undercover vice unit officers burst out laughing and continue to laugh in the 10 or so minutes it takes for us to collect all of our stuff from atop the car...
The female cop asks the alpha male cop if he's going to make me dump out my weed on the ground. The alpha male cop takes the weed off the top of the car and he says "oh, don't worry I'll make it dissapear"
Oh, and they never did find the flap of cocaine on me, I was considering giving it up but my nose won that one...
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