Things you should've never said at the dinner table.

turmaline · 09-22-2009, 09:37 PM

Like the title says.

My story...When I was about 17, my sisters and I were having lunch with our mom when I for some stupid reason decided to tell them all about the giant dildo we found in my friends moms drawer.....and that it had spikes on it. My older sister was mortified.

at the dinner table.

mookie · 09-22-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote:

...yea it's my pot...so what !

high school.

good times.

Mafoo · 09-22-2009, 10:15 PM

last time i took acid...

i just wish i could tell my parents

The Rev · 09-23-2009, 05:01 PM

When I was like 8, my folks and sister and brother and I all sat down for some big meal (good silverwear, ate in the dining room, etc.). Sometime during the meal, I decided to tell a joke I had made up myself. I had seen a discarded tampon in the trash earlier, and its sanguinary state had caught my interest, so I began with "You know vampires drink blood right? Well, guess what they eat?"

When I regained consciousness....

The Rev

awwsuga23 · 09-23-2009, 06:40 PM

when i was like 6 i told my grandmother my mom got a tattoo on her booby in the middle of dinner. she fliped her shit

awwsuga23 · 09-23-2009, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by The Rev

When I was like 8, my folks and sister and brother and I all sat down for some big meal (good silverwear, ate in the dining room, etc.). Sometime during the meal, I decided to tell a joke I had made up myself. I had seen a discarded tampon in the trash earlier, and its sanguinary state had caught my interest, so I began with "You know vampires drink blood right? Well, guess what they eat?"

When I regained consciousness....

The Rev

hahahahahahahaha!!!!

tedkennedy · 09-23-2009, 07:31 PM

omfg turm that made me lol....

Sir-Ex · 09-23-2009, 07:50 PM

Last week was having dinner with my family. A few days prior a couple of them had seen the queefing episode of south park. Yeah.

Parallax · 09-23-2009, 09:14 PM

"hey steph remember that time when i broke your ass cherry in the shower?.... oh and could you pass the mashed potatoes, please"

adventure · 09-23-2009, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by The Rev

When I was like 8, my folks and sister and brother and I all sat down for some big meal (good silverwear, ate in the dining room, etc.). Sometime during the meal, I decided to tell a joke I had made up myself. I had seen a discarded tampon in the trash earlier, and its sanguinary state had caught my interest, so I began with "You know vampires drink blood right? Well, guess what they eat?"

When I regained consciousness....

The Rev

When i was 6 or 8 im not sure, but definitely not seven. I made up my own joke about by the Pollo parrot not having no balls... at the time they were selling Pollo string cheese balls...

Willie D · 09-23-2009, 09:38 PM

well this wasn't at the dinner table but I'll never forget it because of the reaction that it got. I was probably 8-10 years old.

so this was when I was in the cub scouts. they took us to the local firehouse and showed us the fire engines and the pole and everything else you'd expect to find there, except all of the fire fighters there were women (probably 5 or 6 there ).

me being a little boy, I couldn't fathom the idea of girl fire fighters. so without even thinking about it, towards the end of the field trip, when they asked if anyone had any questions, I raised my hand and asked "Where are all the real fire fighters?"

the looks of horror and disgust and insult on these womens' faces was obviously hilarious because everyones parents busted out laughing. I remember one of the dykes trying to talk shit and say something about how I was a punk kid or something of that nature, laughingnly playing it off as a joke to hide her true shame.

Makros_01 · 09-23-2009, 10:51 PM

Well, I was AT the dinner table, but we weren't eating dinner.

I was about 15-16 at the time. I wasn't driving on my own yet, but a mate was and he was taking us out to a partyu. As he drives up the drive way I pull the bowl and the 1/4 out. You know, chop it up and roll 10 nice solid joints and have a couple cones before leaving.
Just one problem, it wasnt my friend that had pulled up. My arents had forgotton something andhad returned to get it. My mother walks in with a look of horror at the black sambuka (hey we were kids) and then to the bowl.
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?' she screamed.
'what does it look like mum?' I'malready stoned 'I'm obviously getting ready to go to a massive party so I don't have to come home for a day or so.' and at that, there wa sa beep outside.
'have a nice weekend mum, love you' and out the door i went.

from that day forward the rules of the house were different.

Sir-Ex · 09-23-2009, 11:38 PM

Originally Posted by Willie D

well this wasn't at the dinner table but I'll never forget it because of the reaction that it got. I was probably 8-10 years old.

so this was when I was in the cub scouts. they took us to the local firehouse and showed us the fire engines and the pole and everything else you'd expect to find there, except all of the fire fighters there were women (probably 5 or 6 there ).

me being a little boy, I couldn't fathom the idea of girl fire fighters. so without even thinking about it, towards the end of the field trip, when they asked if anyone had any questions, I raised my hand and asked "Where are all the real fire fighters?"

the looks of horror and disgust and insult on these womens' faces was obviously hilarious because everyones parents busted out laughing. I remember one of the dykes trying to talk shit and say something about how I was a punk kid or something of that nature, laughingnly playing it off as a joke to hide her true shame.

haha that's awesome man

verklingen · 09-24-2009, 07:36 AM

hahahaha real firefighters. kids crack me up

Mikey · 09-24-2009, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by Parallax

"hey steph remember that time when i broke your ass cherry in the shower?.... oh and could you pass the mashed potatoes, please"

lol all of these made me laugh but kudos to parallax and rev

Terry · 09-24-2009, 01:17 PM

My dad saying none of us kids could play Grand Theft Auto because it showed kids getting killed.

I was like "no it doesn't, only adults"

And he was all, o rly

tedkennedy · 09-24-2009, 05:47 PM

Sir-Ex · 09-24-2009, 05:50 PM

holy crap that picture is seriously worth money. Whoever took it should be getting fucking royalties.

tedkennedy · 09-24-2009, 05:53 PM

i know, its almost amazing that it is real (assuming it is not photoshopped) because that dogs expression and paw placement is fuking priceless

The Rev · 09-24-2009, 06:08 PM

That image IS truly choice. Nice find.

The Rev