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View Poll Results: Who Invented the Blowjob?
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A straight guy
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2 |
11.76% |
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A straight girl
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7 |
41.18% |
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A gay guy
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8 |
47.06% |
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11-04-2009, 05:46 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In my head, somewhere.
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Who invented the blowjob?
This question crossed my mind a few days ago, and I'm still not sure. I can imagine three scenarios.
In the first one, it's invented by a guy. I mean, of course only a guy would think up such a thing.
Then again, I can see some enterprising young woman, perhaps intent upon becoming betrothed to one of the wealthier men in her village, tribe, whatever, thinking, "I know how I can win this shit, easy!"
Then again again, it could have been a gay dude that invented it. This is entirely possible. One guy thinks, "Man, I wish I could get this thing in my mouth.. Hey, I've got an idea!!" Then he finds another dude and gets him to agree to "do me if I do you."
What do you think, YaHooka?
The Rev
__________________
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS IN ALL THINGS IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH REALITY
DISRESPECT INCORPORATED
The Order of the Illuminati
"I don't like seeing vaginas stretched out and having dead octopi fall out"
-scottishbastard
R.I.P. Governor  We know you're smokin wherever you are.
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11-04-2009, 05:49 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: The States
Posts: 6,016
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I think we've come to the conclusion that it was the fruit bats.
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11-04-2009, 05:51 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Scam City
Posts: 16,619
Thanks: 468
Thanked 470 Times in 288 Posts
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its human nature to poke females with your weiner.
whenever I have one available im usually pokin that thing all over the place, It just happens.
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Originally Posted by Mercury
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i've struck the absolute perfect balance between gay and smart
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#yahooka trivia king.
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11-04-2009, 05:54 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: between light and shadow
Posts: 9,045
Thanks: 78
Thanked 237 Times in 154 Posts
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The bj was invented long before 'gay' was so you can rule that guy out...
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There is nothing in the dark that isn't there when the lights are on.
Rod Serling --------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------
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11-04-2009, 05:56 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Chicago Burbs. Delta(x) times Delta(p) is greater than or equal to h-bar over two.
Posts: 4,627
Thanks: 22
Thanked 142 Times in 91 Posts
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Arthur Blow (1023-1079) was an army leader in the Battle Of Hastings. The troops' morale was often low so he devised a cunning method of keeping spirits up by instructing his wife to orally service them as they waited in line. The troops, being grateful for such stress relief, referred to her daily doings as a Blow Job in honour of their leader.
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New and improved! Now with flushable applicator.
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11-04-2009, 05:56 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: loungin, between two pillars of ivory
Posts: 3,263
Thanks: 4
Thanked 28 Times in 14 Posts
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in order to create the blowjob from scratch... you must first invent the universe
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.. choose the ball, and you will join your mother in death
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So.. come boy... choose life or death
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11-04-2009, 06:22 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Big khahuna Burger
Posts: 6,069
Thanks: 49
Thanked 107 Times in 78 Posts
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Originally Posted by Mercury
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I think we've come to the conclusion that it was the fruit bats.
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Wikipedia even agrees.
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Originally Posted by The SARS Volta
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you're my ideal girl too, osirus 
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Originally Posted by Mя. Gяiєvєs
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wake up, call some girl you know, give her the sob story, get some and get fed... it surprisingly works more often than you would think... its the whole motherly instinct thing...
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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
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11-04-2009, 06:27 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: chiburbs
Posts: 10,075
Thanks: 162
Thanked 573 Times in 369 Posts
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^gays didnt invent blowjobs!
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Originally Posted by Sir-Ex
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FUCK FYUCJK FYCJ!!
I just wrote like 10 gucking PARAGRAHPS AND I HIT A FUCING LINK BYACCIDENT HOLY FUCK IM ANGRY
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Last edited by Waves; 11-04-2009 at 06:29 PM.
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11-04-2009, 06:35 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,734
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Thanked 62 Times in 50 Posts
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Sure makes history a hell of a lot more interesting
EDIT: Damn, can't link pics... but it's hilarious seeing some of these vintage paintings showing goils going to town
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-We are caught between a sense of higher being and the realities of our world-
Last edited by Cerpin Taxt; 11-04-2009 at 06:37 PM.
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11-04-2009, 07:01 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: I've got BuffaLOVE
Posts: 5,121
Thanks: 1,018
Thanked 367 Times in 256 Posts
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Originally Posted by toastyroach
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in order to create the blowjob from scratch... you must first invent the universe
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__________________
You said it right from the start
These sorts of things fall apart.
Records keep the quiet away
Up all night and sleep all day...
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11-04-2009, 07:30 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 554
Thanks: 15
Thanked 14 Times in 8 Posts
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The blowjob was invented by a man named Siphilus Quagmire. A wealthy man about town, well known. One day while relieving tension in the tea room, he realised he had run short of personal lubricant. He searched his old english mansion top to bottom for something to suffice, curiously finding himself in the kitchen. He noticed a pan of old dripping from the roast the night before. So he sat down on the ole' cooks chair, closed his eyes and proceeded to indulge in a bout of handy pandy. Unaccustomed to the new sensation the dripping had brought, he had not realised the house terrier had strolled in and started sampling the dripping off of his phalic membrane. At first he felt shocked, low, and perverted, but as he halted his initial judgement, he glanced around the kitchen, and let himself slide into and unprecedented amount of gratification.
As the terrier strolled away, satisfied with his salty high fat high protein meal, Siphilus had realised a revolution was about to take place in the sexual realm, a new idea brought to bedrooms and alleyways all over the world, and that night he made the propasal to his wife - Mary Eden. Naturally the bitch ran her mouth and in no time chicks were suckin dick left right and centre. It changed the whole fabric of society.
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Next time you say "I have nothing in common with this person," remember that you have a great deal in common: A few years from now - two years or seventy years, it doesn't make much difference - both of you will have become rotting corpses, then piles of dust, then nothing at all.
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11-04-2009, 08:01 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,067
Thanks: 16
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don't you know greek people invented everything? the ancient greeks surely. meaning indeed also a gay man.
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(fiance)
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Originally Posted by SmokeSomeDoja
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pheonce hahaha wow a ghettoer spelling would be hard to come by.
edit - pheeyonce i guess.
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11-04-2009, 08:26 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Tyrannosaurusonto, On
Posts: 2,735
Thanks: 0
Thanked 149 Times in 126 Posts
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either greek dudes in the barracks or a white chick somewhere.
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Originally Posted by Sk3tchyD4ZO
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no doubt. the first place i had these was at Space Camp.
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Originally Posted by Former President Hayes
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stfu with this pretend bullshit cutesy "lol @ bears"
you don't know what its like to like in CONSTANT threat of bear attack.you don't even FUCKING KNOW.
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[COLOR="DarkOrchid"]
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Originally Posted by v3d4
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note to self: veda, you decided not to look at this thread anymore.
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♫ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲ ̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı ♫
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11-05-2009, 12:42 AM
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#14 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 5,280
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
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If it was a woman it was definitely a white chick. I have yet to have a girl who isn't Caucasian give me a decent blow job.
But then again I have never been with anyone who wasn't at least 75% white. And she might have just had a good tan...
__________________
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Originally Posted by Rick Cook
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
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no seriously, why didnt you say it was a backy pipe?
what cop is gunna go through thr truble to test it?
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11-05-2009, 12:48 AM
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#15 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,380
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I've had a girlfriend where I was almost to the point of wtf, this girl really wants to suck my dick? some girls just love to do it, and guys can't resist. it's a win-win situation.
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I'll keep my Guns, Money, and Freedom. You can keep the "change."
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11-05-2009, 12:52 AM
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#16 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 5,280
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
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Originally Posted by SpankyMcLankey
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I've had a girlfriend where I was almost to the point of wtf, this girl really wants to suck my dick? some girls just love to do it, and guys can't resist. it's a win-win situation.
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I'm like the guy version of that chick. I LOVE eating pussy. Many a man has thought me crazy for going down on a woman, but I think they're crazy for not. Eating va-jay-jay is the tits 
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Originally Posted by Rick Cook
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
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no seriously, why didnt you say it was a backy pipe?
what cop is gunna go through thr truble to test it?
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11-05-2009, 01:10 AM
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#17 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Empire state.
Posts: 1,593
Thanks: 310
Thanked 298 Times in 214 Posts
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who invented the blowjob?
who cares.
just suck my dick, bitch. i want to see the droolcum land on your chest.
open mouth, moneyshot, win.
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Originally Posted by stateofkane
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I'm one of the few people on this board with any common sense.
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11-05-2009, 02:08 AM
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#18 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: in some pussy
Posts: 3,013
Thanks: 294
Thanked 189 Times in 151 Posts
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Originally Posted by ColtEtish
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I'm like the guy version of that chick. I LOVE eating pussy. Many a man has thought me crazy for going down on a woman, but I think they're crazy for not. Eating va-jay-jay is the tits
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11-05-2009, 03:00 AM
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#19 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: White Plume Mountain
Posts: 3,382
Thanks: 287
Thanked 475 Times in 394 Posts
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it was a straight guy, who then became gay
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The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran
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11-05-2009, 10:26 AM
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#20 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Missoula, Montana
Posts: 3,027
Thanks: 0
Thanked 210 Times in 157 Posts
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I heard it was the French
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You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
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