three cheers for incompatibility.

[The SARS Volta]

Someone else has to feel me on this, and others will be all "what is this bitch on about".

I've never had any problems getting along with the opposite sex. I would estimate 75% of my friends are male.
The thing is, I can't see myself ever getting into an intimate relationship that I'm satisfied with. It seems as if the guys with great personalities are taken or there's some catch to the situation and the attractive ones are void of any other redeeming qualities. At the same time, I totally realize nobody's perfect.

If I'm going to invest time and energy into something like a relationship, I want to feel like it's worth the effort.
In the past, I've settled for less and that's a big fucking mistake.
I'm not someone who goes out and LOOKS for the right person, but one to wait for them to come along.

Thoughts? Perhaps I'm better off single in the long run. I can't imagine myself being bothered to call someone every day and spend every waking hour with them but I suppose if it's the right person, you'll WANT to do that.

[DalandeMD]

I totally feel for ya, Sars, and I hope I'm not the only one. I made the mistake of settling with my previous husband, and it felt like my whole life was on hold for those 3 years. I get down on myself, and figure the guy I'm with is a blessing, and I should be thankful that ANY man wants me. I've been working on my self-esteem though, and I have come to realize that I deserve a happy relationship with somebody who is compatible with me. Looks aren't a big factor to me usually, but if there's zero sexual chemistry I can't stay with the person.

The dating game is tricky as hell, and it's hard to find somebody you can click with, and even harder to decide if that person is somebody you really want to stay with in the long run. I don't go hunting for dates anymore. I pay attention to friendly interactions with friends-of-friends and such, and take it from there. If, while I'm pursuing my career, I find Mr. or Ms. Right, I will be open to it, but I don't let it consume my thoughts, like I'm worthless without a partner or something. It sounds like you've already grasped this concept.

There may not be somebody out there for everybody, and if there isn't somebody for me out there, it won't be the end of my life. I don't need another person to complete me.

What I'm saying is, try not to occupy yourself with worry so much. You're a beautiful, intelligent woman with the right attitude, and if Mr. Right comes along for you, he'd be a fool to turn his head the other way. Mr. Right doesn't need to be perfect, no. He just needs to be right for you.

[№1]

You know what they say, if you can't find what you want...





































Lower your standards.

[DalandeMD]

^ Quit tryin to get into her pants, ya old perv!

[krangs_androidbody]

Originally Posted by The SARS Volta

or there's some catch to the situation

like what? distance? money?

Um. But no, I'm a guy and I feel pretty much the same way. I don't want to put my energy into something pointless. There's a point to meaningless sex, I guess, but I can't get to into that trip. I don't want to settle down or commit to someone but I don't want to be with someone just to get it on. I want there to be a mental connection as well as a physical one and right now being single makes more sense to me.

I would love to have a relationship that meats my ideal but sometimes I wonder if my ideal is impossible. Yet it doesn't really seem that unreasonable. I just want someone who likes to do the same things I do, has a lot of common interests and opinions but also brings a completely new perspective to light. I met someone exactly like this and needless to say it didn't work out.

I'm not really trying that hard because it's not that important to me right now, but it would be nice.

So, I don't think you're alone.

[№1]

Bunch a lonely fuckers rationalizing...

[Patrick Rue]

so tired of bustin off shots havin to rock knotts, runnin up in spots and makin shit hot

[Jake_Armstrong]

TSV,

You can keep looking for the perfect man, and you may find him. But beware; he may be looking for the perfect woman.

[The SARS Volta]

I'm not looking for perfect, I'm looking for adequate. That wasn't rly necessary.

For those of you saying I should lower my standards--been there, done that, got the fucking t-shirt. It doesn't suffice. I'd rather have nothing.

& thank you Dalande, your insight is on the money.

[Jake_Armstrong]

That wasnt meant as an insult. When you quit looking you'll find what you're looking for.

[30_Units]

Yeah, anyone i 'get' with either doesn't know what they want and blames me for not knowing either, is (was) as crazy as I am(was) and has mad mad issues that get in the way of intimacy, or is using me.

That's how each one's pretty much been. Not all at once, those were just examples.

don't get me wrong, i was head over heels for these girls at the time, but some thing always manages to present itself and interject and blossom into repulsion in us.

Sigh.

Because I want to have a girlfriend, but something always gets in the way, at some point in the relationship.


I actually met up with an ex of mine, she always was a good person, saw her at the mall, got her number, we're going to meet up and blaze. She had to break up with me, back in senior year. I completely understand because I was on house arrest, was completely crazy from amphetamine abuse, we only got to see eachother once a week...to not break off a relationship like that would have been crazier, and i fully appreciate what and how she did.....sure it hurt, but she was a sweety about it.

I might fuck her. she was always horny, and I have been lately too. we'll see how she feels about that idea.

[anaujiram]

Fuck relationships.

(Said in a tone suggesting several recent rejections.)

[The Rev]

Originally Posted by The SARS Volta

I'm not someone who goes out and LOOKS for the right person, but one to wait for them to come along.

Here's your problem, right here. If you want ANYTHING, you have to go out and make it happen. In spite of all the rhetoric about "Love will find you just when you stop looking for it", there's nothing worthwhile in life that you don't have to work for.

I mean, imagine if you took the other things of importance in your life that way. You won't look for a job, but instead, wait for the right one to come to you. You won't look for a nice place to live, but instead, wait for someone to bring it to you. You'd end up with shit in life.

If you want a certain kind of guy, get clear on what it is you want and start looking for that. My guess is, you'll find him in a matter of months. You're a pretty girl, you're cool, funny, easygoing, all of it. Just decide what you want, and start looking, and don't get into anything until you find what you're looking for. It's like my mama said, "You gotta shop around."



The Rev

I think that having a good friend who you can talk to and maybe even "get down" with would be much more satisfying then being glued to someone in a relationship.

I've been in one for almost 12 years, and I believe that having a good, good, friend is 100 percent more satisfying than having to continually trying to make a relationship work.

thumbs down to relationships, thumbs up to friends with benefits if you need it.

but who knows, I've never been there either, i don't really know what I'm talking about besides the fact that I have a best friend of 25 years, and I couldn't ask for anything more than the complete acceptance she gives me.

[generic_hippie]

masterbate before your hormones get you laid

























































and we want pics

[The SARS Volta]

Originally Posted by turmaline

thumbs down to relationships, thumbs up to friends with benefits if you need it.

If only that had more good outcome than negative, I would agree. It seems like a great idea until you've tried it, in my experience
My issue is, it feels like I've given too much of myself by hooking up with someone who is a major uncertainty as far as them being there for you goes.

[osirus2020]

Originally Posted by generic_hippie

masterbate before your hormones get you laid

I get the feeling thats only a thing you can say to a woman.

[generic_hippie]

Originally Posted by osirus2020

I get the feeling thats only a thing you can say to a woman.

okay.

I'm, um, glad I guess...