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07-26-2009, 08:44 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Life lessons from youth
My mother bought this home from work this morning ... Laughed my balls off, so figured Id share ...
Great truths that little children have learned:
1) No matter how hard you try you can't baptize cats
2) When your mom is mad at dad, don't let her brush your hair
3) If your sister hits you don't hit her back, they always catch the second person
4) Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair
7) Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time
8) You can't hide a piece of brocolli in a glass of milk
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be if your sad is Grandpas lap
Enjoy .... and add more if you got 'em.
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"In most gardens they make the beds too soft - so that the flowers are always asleep" - Tiger Lily
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07-26-2009, 09:38 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2004
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don't poop on your dinner plate.
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Originally Posted by Woods
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Life is like jumping off a cliff, living the freefall. Some cliffs are taller then others, some have clouds all the way to the ground, and some you can see it approach. Whatever the characteristics of your personal cliff, you have the same two choices. You can scream in terror at the approaching ground, whether you can see it or not, or you can yell for joy at the feeling of flying.
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Originally Posted by SageTree
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That is a pun sun!
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07-27-2009, 01:45 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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^You dont shit where you eat.
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07-28-2009, 08:41 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2002
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^ or fuck where you shit
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RIP Gov 
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07-28-2009, 11:19 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2005
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toys dont fix themselves after you break them 
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PLUR
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Originally Posted by verklingen
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instead of setting out to connect all the dots, the intent of zen is seeing the dots, letting them connect and then seeing how oneself connects to them.
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"Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens" Hendrix
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger"- words to live by
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07-28-2009, 12:28 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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An adorable little girl at my work asked me what i was going to learn about at college. When i told her i was gonna major in philosophy she replied, "Oh, so your throwing your life away?"
Kids are so damned perceptive...
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07-28-2009, 01:48 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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lol i dunno man could easily be something picked up from a cartoon or whatever. in my experience kids have to be taught fatalistic concepts such as that. they're too busy living life to think any of it could be a waste. imo of course.
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History shows again and again how nature points up the folly of men
rip matt  |
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07-28-2009, 02:08 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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simply amazing xil
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Originally Posted by Seeds&Stems
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after another opie binge, I'm happy to be able to shit also.. six fucking plunges it took to go down, I mean jesus, some got on my socks. It was like "Go down please god make it go down please ill never steal from work again oh shit above the rim...please god i'll stop pissing in the neighbors pool.....fuck its getting on my sock.
but hey at least I shit.
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R.I.P. Gov
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07-28-2009, 02:14 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2005
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Originally Posted by Xil
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An adorable little girl at my work asked me what i was going to learn about at college. When i told her i was gonna major in philosophy she replied, "Oh, so your throwing your life away?"
Kids are so damned perceptive...
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well at least you know how mom n dad view philosophy
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PLUR
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Originally Posted by verklingen
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instead of setting out to connect all the dots, the intent of zen is seeing the dots, letting them connect and then seeing how oneself connects to them.
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"Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens" Hendrix
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger"- words to live by
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07-29-2009, 12:38 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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Originally Posted by Mafoo
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well at least you know how mom n dad view philosophy
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this. she was a really cool kid (im a camp counselor btw) but she claimed to want to go into international business when she grew up 
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07-29-2009, 07:04 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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Dude philosophy rocks.
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08-06-2009, 07:13 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Quote:
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Dude philosophy rocks.
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Why? I dont' know, but its funny at the mo
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"In most gardens they make the beds too soft - so that the flowers are always asleep" - Tiger Lily
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Then we'd own those banks of marble, 
