Adult Children of Divorce....

[Porcelain]

Originally Posted by spicoli

Isn't it hard to believe that people who are supposed to love you could be so completely selfish and cold?
I simply cannot imagine moving to another country without my kid(s). Ever.
Or sending them to another country...I am so sorry you've had to endure that, Porcelain. And your poor brother.

I wonder the same thing. Having a kid of my own, I feel anxiety being away from her for 24 hours. I can't imagine being apart for months with no end in sight. My mother doesn't really have a maternal bone in her body, though. She's been gone for 7 months and has called me a total of 4 times. I can handle it though, I've endured worse in life. It's just sad to me how she treats my 8 year old brother. Because of him, I've been able to see divorce from a 3D perspective. I see how cruel they are to him due to their own selfish problems. He's just a pawn in their game, at the end of the day, no matter how much they claim to love him.

[spicoli]

my mom was just in town. got to visit a little, but kept having anxiety issues when i was with her. it sucked.

[chickadee]

Divorce is so hard on children it's so sad. I've even read that divorce can be more psychologically damaging than a death of a parent (I know this is not always the case). I think that is mostly because when there is a death of a parent many times the child is giving a lot of sympathy and support. I remember when my parents divorced I felt embarrassed and nobody asked me if I was okay or if I needed anything. I even felt like some of my friends with parents that were still married didn't want them to play at my house. There were different reasons for that. One time one of my best friends and I heard noises coming from by Mom's room while she had a boyfriend over. We were too young to really understand what was going on but after that I remember she wasn't allowed to play with me as much. It hurt a lot and I felt so lonely. My Mom and Dad would also bad mouth each other in front of me and my mom would tell me things like my dad didn't want me. I wish I could tell her how much all this has hurt me and is still affecting me but she would just deny things and get very defensive.

[chickadee]

Divorce is so hard on children it's so sad. I've even read that divorce can be more psychologically damaging than a death of a parent (I know this is not always the case). I think that is mostly because when there is a death of a parent many times the child is giving a lot of sympathy and support. I remember when my parents divorced I felt embarrassed and nobody asked me if I was okay or if I needed anything. I even felt like some of my friends with parents that were still married didn't want them to play at my house. There were different reasons for that. One time one of my best friends and I heard noises coming from by Mom's room while she had a boyfriend over. We were too young to really understand what was going on but after that I remember she wasn't allowed to play with me as much and couldn't come over to my house. It hurt a lot and I felt so lonely. My Mom and Dad would also bad mouth each other in front of me and my mom would tell me things like my dad didn't want me. I wish I could tell her how much all this has hurt me and is still affecting me but she would just deny things and get very defensive.

[chickadee]

sorry I don't know why this posted twice??

[spicoli]

i know how you feel, chickadee. it's very lonely being a child of divorce, even if you have siblings. you just feel so powerless over everything that is happening in your life.
maybe someday you can talk to your mom about it. sometimes it helps me, and other times i know i shouldn't even bother, because nothing can possibly change now.