resisting temptation to get high.

[tedkennedy]

its really hard for me to live life without drugs.

i admit i can do decently without drugs, but inevitably i always fall into a depression and decide its better to simply numb out.

i dont like drugs, i dont like the people whom do drugs and i dont think they are cool, i simply just dont know what to do with myself and feel like i cant continue without them. part of me is habituated to getting fucked up.

i think ideally i could be happy without doing drugs. but when i dont do drugs i just sit around and feel miserable. i have been trying to improve myself and my life but here i am just depressed and feeling like i simply need to get fucked up.

i think the core issue is that i am just lonely, and the thing is that my friends do drugs. at school i have a few friends but i dont hang out with them outside of class and studying together becuase i feel like i cant relate to them because they dont do drugs and i basically shoot up dope. for as long as i can remember, i would hang out with people and smoke up. during highschool i had really close-knit group of friends and we wouuld smoke ridiculous amounts of weed all the time we would hang out. then in college i didnt have those friends any more and i started shooting dope and chillin with other people. as long as i can remember i linked hanging out and having fun with doing drugs. and it fucked me over.

i know i am a decent person without drugs, i am reasonably smart and interesting, why can i simply not enjoy my life and/or grab life by the balls?

advice?

[kamikazi89]

hmmm, try strenuous physical labour, making new friends and keeping your drug use limited to the herb

[tedkennedy]

Originally Posted by kamikazi89

hmmm, try strenuous physical labour, making new friends and keeping your drug use limited to the herb

nah i dont smoke weed.

i do try to keep busy, basically thats the only thing that keeps me from being depressed. i have been studying japanese, doing art, studying for school and shit. but at the end im still not satisfied with life. i can only keep myself so busy without starting to feel depressed and wanting to call up my friend and try to get dope.

i havent used in about 2 1/2 months btw and i havent been tempted till now.

i guess i just feel depressed.

[InAJar]

Originally Posted by kamikazi89

hmmm, try strenuous physical labour, making new friends and keeping your drug use limited to the herb

qft

Take good care of yourself. Go without any friends until you make new friends. Try meetup.com (I do not work for that site) to find a group of people in your area that do something you are interested in. That way, you will have something in common with some people besides drugs.

Weed has been shown in many studies to help people stay off H. Try vaporizing so that you can work out like a motherfucker. Doing so will work the shit and cravings out of your system faster.

[kamikazi89]

Originally Posted by tedkennedy

nah i dont smoke weed.
.

there's problem 1

[spicoli]

have you considered meds for depression, or are you already on them?
i know it's a touchy subject for most people, it was hard for me to finally realize that i needed to take a pill everyday to regulate my depression/anxiety. also, i realize meds aren't for everyone. have you thought about therapy? i'm avoiding it, but know for me, it needs to be done.
do you know what the cause of your depression is?

[Canuck Wisdom]

I've been feeling lonely and substance dependent lately too TK. But for me it is weed. I feel sometimes like no one is really on my team, just on teams friendly with mine.
Its good in some way too.

[InAJar]

Weed has helped me in many ways. It is a great medication for several common Western cultural ailments. The primary drawback for me is that it is too expensive. I can't smoke what I want because I am on a tight budget. FYI, the price of nug is higher than gold, last time I checked. Weed is not always a viable medication option for everyone because of the expense. Believe it or not, heroin is cheaper in my area than herb!!! Yet I don't mess with H. I've seen too many trainwrecks over that. But not as many as meth. Forgive my ranting. I'm sleepy.

[Praise Jah]

Have you thought about bucking up?... princess... Anyway, good luck to you. Keep off the dope and do something you love.

[Porcelain]

What the others said about smoking weed...it helps. But not all weed. Some harsh chronic or something will take a lot of the edge off. You may not like weed but the thing with it is that it's a soul drug. I believe depression comes from a closed off soul. Heroin and cocaine are soul killers and having lived without it for a while, you could probably use something to kick-start the process.

It's good that you're keeping yourself busy. I'm just being honest, I don't think it's worth it to have friends around who do junk. You need friends who don't do it but also don't judge it. I can understand where your discomfort comes from being around the school kids and not being able to relate. It's not easy to make friends but you have to ask yourself if it's worth it to have friends that will ultimately break you in the long run.

I hate to sound like a mom...but why don't you find a nice girl to chill with, ya know? Maybe there's a girl out there who can make you happy enough that you're not bored and thinking about relapsing.

[turmaline]

Boredom is the killer. Taking drugs is what takes the edge off of having a boring lifeless life I believe. A coping mechanism if you will.

I recently quit cigarettes, weed, and alcohol, cold turkey. As the days go by I find myself just wanting to sleep. I find I have no motivation to do much of anything. It sucks really bad but I know that it's the best thing I can do for my health. I want a smoke bad. I know some of you say use weed to take the edge off, but for me tk, it was what made me want to smoke a cigarette and then as well have a drink.

I suffer from depression as well. I continue to take my meds for that. although i believe an active lifestyle and healthy diet is the cure all for mine.
When you are jonesing for the drugs or whatever, do you find it's when you are bored and depressed?

You need to make yourself get out of that situation quick...I myself take a drive or go see family. I don't really no, It's different to everyone I guess.

I don't kknow.

[tedkennedy]

Originally Posted by Porcelain

I hate to sound like a mom...but why don't you find a nice girl to chill with, ya know? Maybe there's a girl out there who can make you happy enough that you're not bored and thinking about relapsing.

yea thats what i think too but its easier said that done in my circumstances. i have alot of anxiety and stress and low self esteem, the last thing i think i couuld do would be impress a girl. theres actually a really nice asian girl who apparently is into me but i just feel so crappy and insecure that id rather be alone than face a stressful situation. its depressing because id really love to at least get to know this girl, however i have conflicting feelings because i dont want to face a stressful situation. the only way i would be able to handle such a situation if i was fucked up, and in this case that is basically out of the question so i will just avoid the situation all together.

i mean its completely fine if i already know a person and feel comfortable, its just you know those first awkward encounters are just really hard and in the past i would get ridiculously fucked up on drugs. for example this girl asked me to her prom and i only agreed to go on the condition that i was rolling on exctasy :P it turned out to be really fun as long as i was rolling balls, however if i was sober it would have been stressful as fuck. its sad, and i dont want to have to take drugs to feel ok, but unfortunately thats just the way i have been in the past.

i guess im trying to change but its really difficult.

[matthewmunari]

have u tried methadone?

[Porcelain]

Originally Posted by tedkennedy

yea thats what i think too but its easier said that done in my circumstances. i have alot of anxiety and stress and low self esteem, the last thing i think i couuld do would be impress a girl. theres actually a really nice asian girl who apparently is into me but i just feel so crappy and insecure that id rather be alone than face a stressful situation. its depressing because id really love to at least get to know this girl, however i have conflicting feelings because i dont want to face a stressful situation. the only way i would be able to handle such a situation if i was fucked up, and in this case that is basically out of the question so i will just avoid the situation all together.

i mean its completely fine if i already know a person and feel comfortable, its just you know those first awkward encounters are just really hard and in the past i would get ridiculously fucked up on drugs. for example this girl asked me to her prom and i only agreed to go on the condition that i was rolling on exctasy :P it turned out to be really fun as long as i was rolling balls, however if i was sober it would have been stressful as fuck. its sad, and i dont want to have to take drugs to feel ok, but unfortunately thats just the way i have been in the past.

i guess im trying to change but its really difficult.

Ok, I'm totally not trying to be a cheeseball and I only know you as far as the internet so I can't speak for how you are in real life but I don't think you should have any reason to feel insecure. You have a good personality. You know...like, you're funny and smart and from what I've seen of your pics, you're a good looking guy. We all get anxiety. I feel like the older I get the more I experience it but sometimes the only thing to do about it is to say, "Fuck it, I'm doing it anyway." You shouldn't have to feel like you should impress anyone. I know most people feel like there should be some kind of grand gestures involved during the "courting" period but I personally think it's horse shit. I like people much better when they're just like, "Hey, what's up?" instead of trying to be all cool or suave or say everything perfectly.

From what you've said, I almost wanna assume you don't really know yourself or you're afraid to go to that place inside you where you take a good look at yourself as a person. I think I was about your age a couple years ago when I was going through some similar things. Not drugs, but that pivotal time in everyone's life where they decide to either "find themselves" (God, that sounds gay) or run from themselves, ya know? I'm not sure if I'm making any sense...can't really find the words to explain what my point is lol.

[tedkennedy]

^ yea that was some solid advice. i appreciate.

[farmergiles]

Physical exercise! Endorphins are free drugs from your body as a reward for pushing yourself- not only are they free but the whole process is good for you. I dunno what sports you might be into, maybe none at all but even walking is pretty cool. Just trying to stop doing drugs is hard but replacing or augmenting them with something more constructive may work.

[matthewmunari]

Originally Posted by tedkennedy

^ yea that was some solid advice. i appreciate.

if you pop a couple xanax, you shouldnt have that initial nervousness EVERYONE gets when talking to a person of romantic interest for the 1st time....i know what your going through bro %100.. you don't wanna get 'shot down', but you'll never know if you don't take the chance of at least trying small talk.... xanax will put you in a nerve free state, it's an amazing drug that way...when i was telemarketing I'd pop a bar and a half and became the strangers trusted friend.....i'm telling you, if you can get ANY benzos pop them before approaching her, be careful though, even though you think you don't sound loaded, you are.... so monitor your voice fluxuation internally... that's my advice to you.....

mattseven