I need relationship advice.

[turmaline]

oh Al420.

It's sad when things change especially in relationships. I believe that you definately need to take a break for both of your sakes. It's almost like someone has died when you end things but you will get over it, it's just the fact that you are so used to having that person there in your life.

Go do some soul searching, don't end up like me, I used to always be happy and outgoing. I wanted to do things and didn't let anything hold me back. Now like you say, living and being with someone who never has a smile on their face, or always brings you down will kill your spirit...

Even just give yourselves a break. If he doesn' seem to be happy maybe he needs some soul searching as well.



Just from someone who should have done some soul searching along time ago.

turm.

[AnimalLover420]

Okay guys, I've got an update. Well, sort of. I feel like this guy is really good to me and I need to at least give it a bit more time before just dropping him. I'm pretty picky when it comes to men, so it's amazing that he's been able to keep me pleased this long. He really does try to work with me so that we can be happy rather than going down the shitter and turning into one of those couples who don't even like each other anymore but insist on staying together. So I had a nice heart to heart talk with him about what I've been feeling. We agreed upon trying to make shit work between us and doing our best to accommodate each other so that our differences don't hurt our relationship. He's been a lot more fun to be around lately, and he's been very understanding when I go out and do shit with my girls to get my social fix. But there's still one major problem. I'm still very unsatisfied in the bedroom. I'm not saying he's a bad lay, because he's actually very good. I'm just not very turned on by our routine. He expects me to put out like I always did, but he doesn't pursue me like he used to. He never just knocks my ass onto the bed and starts ravaging me. I assume this is just a natural part of being in a long-term relationship? And if so, what can I do to get that spark back? I want some crazy ass monkey sex in my life again, dammit!!

[tedkennedy]

Originally Posted by AnimalLover420

Okay guys, I've got an update. Well, sort of. I feel like this guy is really good to me and I need to at least give it a bit more time before just dropping him. I'm pretty picky when it comes to men, so it's amazing that he's been able to keep me pleased this long. He really does try to work with me so that we can be happy rather than going down the shitter and turning into one of those couples who don't even like each other anymore but insist on staying together. So I had a nice heart to heart talk with him about what I've been feeling. We agreed upon trying to make shit work between us and doing our best to accommodate each other so that our differences don't hurt our relationship. He's been a lot more fun to be around lately, and he's been very understanding when I go out and do shit with my girls to get my social fix. But there's still one major problem. I'm still very unsatisfied in the bedroom. I'm not saying he's a bad lay, because he's actually very good. I'm just not very turned on by our routine. He expects me to put out like I always did, but he doesn't pursue me like he used to. He never just knocks my ass onto the bed and starts ravaging me. I assume this is just a natural part of being in a long-term relationship? And if so, what can I do to get that spark back? I want some crazy ass monkey sex in my life again, dammit!!

maybe u should tell him you want some crazy monkey sex and you guys can start browsing the local zoos. i guess being open about these things is the best way to go about it.

[AnimalLover420]

I don't know though, I don't want to hurt his pride by telling him that he's just not doing it for me anymore. Especially considering that I see him as the type of guy who would get a complex, making it even more difficult to rock my world between the sheets.

[generic_hippie]

when you say routine I empathise

wifey had the notion that I had just stopped, how did you put it, "just knocks my ass onto the bed and starts ravaging me", yeah, knocking her ass down and ravaging her sounds about right

truth is, I've become so used to her body language I don't need to pursue her like I used to, it's obvious to me through history based experience when I am and when I am not likely to get laid

apparently occasionally in our relationship no not only means yes, it means knock me on my arse and ravage me like a man



What with everyday life, children raising to do, visitors, our commitment to housing people in crisis, we don't get enough time to be each other's lovers.

Wifey isn't just the girl I fell in love with, she has other roles. Mother, cook, friend, neighbour, etc. Sometimes we just need to take time out to really fuck the shit out of each other and make it special.

I do enjoy a good ravage, so these days we have to squirrel money away to get out of the house overnight for some really freaky fun.

Recently we booked into one of the nicer hotels in a town called Ballina on the coast, more of an old persons retirement village than coastal town, but we weren't planning on any outdoor recreation, rather some indoor procreation.

Just knowing the lust we have is still available for the priceof some privacy and time to enjoy keeps us going between feeds.

[spicoli]

^haha. that's great.
my husband and i get our moments, too.
al, maybe you could put it like this: you're great in the sack babe, but i need a little more spontanious sex...more passion if you will. surprise me.
my man and i have been together for going on 9 years now, and i still get ravaged. it's possible. and it's great!

[AnimalLover420]

Originally Posted by generic_hippie

apparently occasionally in our relationship no not only means yes, it means knock me on my arse and ravage me like a man

LOL, YES!! I know it seems weird, but that's how I feel. If I'm putting up a fight, MAKE me want to change my mind!

Originally Posted by generic_hippie

What with everyday life, children raising to do, visitors, our commitment to housing people in crisis, we don't get enough time to be each other's lovers.

See that's the thing, we don't even have any kids. Of course we have other things to keep our lives busy like work and school, but it really worries me that our sex life isn't as fun as it used to be and we don't even have kids. It makes me wonder if we'll even do it at all if we ever do start a family.

Originally Posted by spicoli

^haha. that's great.
my husband and i get our moments, too.
al, maybe you could put it like this: you're great in the sack babe, but i need a little more spontanious sex...more passion if you will. surprise me.
my man and i have been together for going on 9 years now, and i still get ravaged. it's possible. and it's great!

Yeah, I think that would be a decent way of saying it. He already doubts his abilities, so I would need to make sure I to use constructive criticism. But I think your suggestion would be perfect, I can't imagine him being offended by that. I am glad to hear that it is actually possible to have awesome sex with someone even after you've been with them for a while. That's good to know.

Originally Posted by made in china

if you cant weather the bad times and only want the good out of a relationship, youll find yourself alone

I know, I know. I swear I'm not trying to pick him apart, I really do appreciate him for the good guy he is. And I do realize that there are enough positive aspects to this relationship that it's not worth giving up. But what you just told me is something that I've been told so many times in my life, it makes me wonder if I would be prone to staying in a relationship that wasn't working just because I'm trying to be realistic. What I'm trying to find out is where to draw the line between being happy where I am and knowing when we could find other people who would suit us better. But for now, I'm sticking with my man and doing everything I can to make sure we're happy.

[Night Life]

Sounds like why me and my ex just broke up, after 3yrs of a on and off relationship the passion was gone, and we had 2 different priorities. honeslty we should have broke up Months ago. the last 4months was full of fighting and when we went out it wasnt fun, she use to be cool with my freinds and then just started hating them. Now i feel alot of pressure off me now that we split and now the feeling of being able to go out whenever and with whoever i want is a great feeling. sounds like you guys are just dragging out a doomed relationship, thats what happen to me. One of yall gonna have to step up and end it!

[Vik*star*]

""ive seen you naked""

I try to stay out of controversial topics but seems to me that ladies these days always look for princes...

[Porcelain]

AL - let me start this off by giving you props on sticking with your man. I encouraged you to give it another old fashioned go at it BEFORE I even looked a your MySpace pics and realized what a piece of ass your man is. Seriously, AL...he's fucken hot and you two probably have gloriously gorgeous sex together.

As for the routine thing...in my experience, it's best not to "talk" to men about sex but to show them instead. My BF and I kind of had our rut for a while...mostly cuz he just expects me to be horny 24/7 and I (like you) sometimes need to be grabbed and have the hell pounded out of me, k? So I sympathize, hun. I was kind of becoming bored with my sex life and often times I'd fantisize about a young Robert Plant having his way with me. So one time, I came on to my man hardcore with the intention of keeping my eyes closed and calling him "Planty" when he wasn't listening. The thing is, he got so into the fact that I slapped him on the bed and did the ravaging that the next time we had sex, it was like he was a different person. And that's when I lay there looking at him and thought to myself, "What am I thinking? My bebe is sexxxxxy!" I guess the moral of the story is, even if it's against your initial desire...you should teach him by doing. Maybe he has just the same desire for a beautiful lady like you to grab him and nail him into the wall, ya dig? Just grab the poor, sexy, sumamabitch and ride the heck out of him till it's engrained in his mind how you like it so he'll know what to do with you next time you wanna play a little cat and mouse

[AnimalLover420]

Oh Porcelain, you are awesome. I love the way you word things. I appreciate the compliments on my man's looks, he is quite the hottie. I get that quite often, anytime I show a picture of him to one of my friends (who hasn't met him) they always say something like "DAMN. He's hot!" Which I absolutely love. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm more into intelligent guys than "hot" guys but I'll definitely be happy if they are both. It's also funny that you said I should just take the reigns and give him what I've been wanting, because I totally did that about a week ago. I decided that if I wanted to have crazy intense sex, I would have to do most of the work myself. So I hopped right on, threw his hands onto my tits (and held them there pretty much the whole time) while taking him for the ride of his life. He looked amazed and confused, lol. He was just looking up at me like "wtf is this crazy succubus doing to me?" It was awesome, and it was also the first time in months I felt fulfilled. But we've done it since then and it was unremarkable, so I guess if I want it like that I've just got to do it myself. That's fine though, I think I can handle that.

[Porcelain]

You know, I figure if you make it a habit to be aggrassive, he's gotta learn eventually. Just get him used to the fact that that is how you bone!

[infamous]

it all depends on if your going to be happier without hime. i think if its yes then go out on your own for a while. explore other options. you may find someone else who you click better with. you dont want to be stuck with the "what ifs" a few years down the road. and if you dont want to do that, try being the one to start with all the passionate sex stuff and see how he reacts to it