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Old 05-14-2008, 09:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Interpretation?

Yesterday, I was drinking at my desk, listening to music and writing, when on impulse I went on my ex's(Jessica) email and wrote something along the lines of "I think about you every day"

I haven't talked to Jess in 9 months except for two emails; the first was sent a few weeks after she broke up with her more recent bf(Charlie... the one that won between us, essentially) saying we should hang out some time after her classes are done with for the year, and my reply dancing around and making excuses to avoid it cause I still have hella strong feelings for her; but I've got rejection issues and I try my damnedest to avoid putting myself in positions where I feel I could get burned.

Anyway, yesterday I got this as a reply.

Quote:
i think of you all the time. everyday basically. we kinda had a thing and i
liked you a long time ago. i liked you a lot. but i had so much going on, that it wasn't the right time. i hated how it worked because i didn't want it to be as bad as it was. i did like you. a lot. i still do. but again, the mess. the funny thing is, i think if i were to let go of all im trying to fix or hang onto in my life, and just go for it, it would work out perfectly. but at the same time, i would always wonder and think and i wouldn't wanna hurt you in any way. ever. because your amazing. your an incredible person. =] im sure i shall be seeing you soon, and if you stare into my eyes, i think you'll see it. you will. i know you will.
I'm pretty sure "the mess" = when she dumped me to go back with Charlie... if not it's just about her dealing with all of the Charlie shit now(he's pretty much a terrible person)

So anyway, toward the end it gets hella ambiguous, and I'm not sure what to think/do/say/how to act.

What're your thoughts? I'm pretty much head over heels for her, but is this her way of saying this would be nice, but no... or is she saying we should go for it?


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Old 05-14-2008, 09:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It is either her trying to ease a relationship back with you, or quite possibly her just pussyfooting around saying that she just wants to be friends.


...I believe the quote goes, "women, they're so fucking wily"


Good luck in deciphering man, I hope it all goes well. And if not, you can always post all her pics on here for yahooka to criticize and photoshop to make ya feel better.
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Old 05-14-2008, 11:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I agree, she may well be saying that it's seems like a great idea, but if put into practice, won't manifest as such.

Going through life protecting yourself from being hurt is no way to live. I'm not saying you're trying to set that precedent here, but if you really want this, then go for it. Make yourself vulnerable. If it works out it'll be that much better.

And if it doesn't, well, you know what she thinks of you, and if she's sincere about it then it shouldn't be that big a blow.

Shitty deal, man. It doesn't seem unreasonable to ask her to clarify (if you mean as much to her as she claims), but at the same time, we know it is.

Suerte, amigo
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Old 05-15-2008, 12:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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to me, in woman-speak, it sounds as if she's trying to tell you that she cares for you very deeply, and that she feels it important for you to know that. you will see it in her eyes, but she doesn't trust her fleeting feelings...she really doesn't want to hurt you.
i've had 'friendships' with guys that i had feelings for, but knew it wouldn't go anywhere, for whatever reason, sometimes we just know. i never took the leap with a few friends because of the potential fall-out. sometimes a friendship really is worth saving.
that's what her words said to me. but i don't know her, you do.
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Old 05-15-2008, 01:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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thanks... that not really what I wanted to hear, lol.
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They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too.

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Old 05-15-2008, 01:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
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its never what you want to hear, but you know what sucks, sitting wishing you had given up earlier and saved some time and hearache...

trust me on that one pal....
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Old 05-16-2008, 10:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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true that... I'm gonna stop worrying about it, and I'll see how things go when I see her in a few weeks.
If it doesn't work out I'm gonna drop it completely.
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I come before you, to stand before you, to tell you a story I know nothing about.
One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight.
They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too.

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Old 05-17-2008, 02:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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ahh. It sounds like she cares about you alot, and probably loves you as well, but I got the vibe of her wanting to be friends as well, not wanting to hurt you again.


but what do
I know.
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Old 05-17-2008, 02:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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from a girls point of view.

Shes trying to be nice but she doesnt really care about you THAT much. She may still care about you...but not as extreeme as that email says.


If she wanted you,
She'd be with you.

Even if she overthinks and can't let go...

She'd do it if she cared more about you than her own issues.

Obviously not, but whatever...ur better off.
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Old 05-17-2008, 02:33 PM   #10 (permalink)
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lol omg..I'm a girl and I didn't get that "she doesn't care THAT much"

it just seems she loves him, but is not like "in love with him.
get it?
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Old 05-18-2008, 08:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Bearsey, I could be way off on this, but.....

Her=Linus

You=Linus' blanket


HTAM
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Old 05-19-2008, 11:14 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Ask her. Don't try to decipher it. Tell her to be upfront and straight. Man, I had enough head games in early relationships to last a fucking life-time (excuse the French). I decided that I had to be straight with the one who is now my husband and demand the same of him. It's the defining characteristic of this (now 14 year) marriage. Screw the head games... set some rules (just my opinion... if you like the games then keep guessing what she means. Chances are she's not sure what she means either and talking it out might force her to get honest with herself and help her iron out her own thoughts and feelings).

Good luck
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Old 05-19-2008, 11:17 AM   #13 (permalink)
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btw... another tip from an old lady

you might keep in mind that it's alright for her to feel whatever it is that she feels. It doesn't mean you have to like it but she will be more honest with you if you let her know how her words effect you but also that you accept and respect that she is entitled to her feelings... even to her confusion. Try to avoid that codependent 'I need you, you need me...' stuff
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Old 05-26-2008, 08:29 PM   #14 (permalink)
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So did you guys meet up yet? Hope it went well man, just blast some crack rock steady before and that will give ya all the confidence ya need dude
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Old 05-26-2008, 09:31 PM   #15 (permalink)
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shes saying she has confusing feelings about you.

Go for it. If it doesn't work, whatever. But you'd be missing out if u didn't try
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damn i thought this thread was about shorty needing the dick. and no tits? really? c'mon my fucking forefathers fought so i'd be able to grow up and see tits on the intraweb at the drop of a tits or gtfo.

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Old 05-26-2008, 09:40 PM   #16 (permalink)
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its hard to say what she means. she may not even know herself what she wants. if you think it could work put yourself out there. the worst possible outcome is rejection and then you are back where you started.

its really easy to give advice like that. much harder to actually act on it. i'm pretty stupid when it comes to relationships. i recommend talking to her about it though.

Quote:
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i've had 'friendships' with guys that i had feelings for, but knew it wouldn't go anywhere, for whatever reason, sometimes we just know. i never took the leap with a few friends because of the potential fall-out. sometimes a friendship really is worth saving.
that's what her words said to me. but i don't know her, you do.
i'm glad to have read that from a girl. thanks.
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Old 05-26-2008, 11:04 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefBongWater View Post
So did you guys meet up yet? Hope it went well man, just blast some crack rock steady before and that will give ya all the confidence ya need dude
Good choice, lol... I don't see her til next Thursday, I thought it was gonna be this week, but she's got graduation that night.

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shes saying she has confusing feelings about you.

Go for it. If it doesn't work, whatever. But you'd be missing out if u didn't try
Word, I'm just gonna put my neck out there and hope for the best.

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its hard to say what she means. she may not even know herself what she wants. if you think it could work put yourself out there. the worst possible outcome is rejection and then you are back where you started.

its really easy to give advice like that. much harder to actually act on it. i'm pretty stupid when it comes to relationships. i recommend talking to her about it though.
True, I've had so much experience when it comes to rejection its the main reason I still haven't talked to her.
I mean she called me 6 days ago and I still haven't called her back, mainly cause I seriously suck at talking on the phone, but also cause I don't want to get into it on the phone... I really want to be face to face.
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Old 05-26-2008, 11:22 PM   #18 (permalink)
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sucking at talking on the phone is a terrible excuse. call her and make sure you don't get into a conversation. just say that you need to talk and you don't want to do it on the phone, and when can you meet up.

you can't see her face to face without first calling her (unless you are a creepy stalker)
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