Don't want to lead her on.

[reggiedrugs]

I'll try to keep this short and sweet. So almost two years ago I met this girl. She was really cool and instantly we became good friends. (I'm a 17 year old male btw, and she's a 19 year old female) Anyways after awhile I began to have feelings for her, more than just a friend. She had a boyfriend though, I didn't want to ruin that for it so I decided to keep my feelings to myself and keep my feelings to myself. Evenually this became too much and I told her. A few weeks prior to this she broke up with her boyfriend. I told her how I felt and didn't want to pressure her to do anything. She told me she had feelings for both me and her ex boyfriend. Evenually she told me she loved me more and wanted to be with me. We weren't officially dating or anything. I don't remember why, but there was a fight between us. Just a fight friends have. Out of no where the next day she tells me she got back with her Ex. This hurt me severely. It wasn't even a big fight, but out of no where she does that. A few months later they broke up. She told me she made a mistake and loved me. We officially got together, she was my girlfriend. It always felt shitty to me. I always felt like a second choice, things didnt work out between her boyfriend so she dropped down to me.

So between a month or two I found out she's cheated on me. I question her about it and she admits it than dumps me saying "You can do better". Not only this but a day after she breaks up with me she sleeps with her ex. Again I was crushed. A few weeks after this she tells me how much of a fool she was and how much she loves me and I'm the only one for her. Now before I met this girl my opinion of relationships is I didn't want to be in one. I didn't want to settle down, get married, have kids, get tied down or have someone in my life I'm supposed to take care of. I didn't want any part of that. After this incident my opinion has gone back to the same. I haven't taken the girl back because of this also because I'm scared she'll hurt me again. I do have strong feelings, I still love her. She's very depressed after all this and I don't want her hurting herself. I don't know what to do.

[Skywarp]

let go of the destructiveness that is trying to pull you down with it...She has issues of her own that you can't help..Work on bettering your situation, you can't solve her problems for her

[AlteredStateGrl]

Originally Posted by reggiedrugs

I'll try to keep this short and sweet. So almost two years ago I met this girl. She was really cool and instantly we became good friends. (I'm a 17 year old male btw, and she's a 19 year old female) Anyways after awhile I began to have feelings for her, more than just a friend. She had a boyfriend though, I didn't want to ruin that for it so I decided to keep my feelings to myself and keep my feelings to myself. Evenually this became too much and I told her. A few weeks prior to this she broke up with her boyfriend. I told her how I felt and didn't want to pressure her to do anything. She told me she had feelings for both me and her ex boyfriend. Evenually she told me she loved me more and wanted to be with me. We weren't officially dating or anything. I don't remember why, but there was a fight between us. Just a fight friends have. Out of no where the next day she tells me she got back with her Ex. This hurt me severely. It wasn't even a big fight, but out of no where she does that. A few months later they broke up. She told me she made a mistake and loved me. We officially got together, she was my girlfriend. It always felt shitty to me. I always felt like a second choice, things didnt work out between her boyfriend so she dropped down to me.

So between a month or two I found out she's cheated on me. I question her about it and she admits it than dumps me saying "You can do better". Not only this but a day after she breaks up with me she sleeps with her ex. Again I was crushed. A few weeks after this she tells me how much of a fool she was and how much she loves me and I'm the only one for her. Now before I met this girl my opinion of relationships is I didn't want to be in one. I didn't want to settle down, get married, have kids, get tied down or have someone in my life I'm supposed to take care of. I didn't want any part of that. After this incident my opinion has gone back to the same. I haven't taken the girl back because of this also because I'm scared she'll hurt me again. I do have strong feelings, I still love her. She's very depressed after all this and I don't want her hurting herself. I don't know what to do.

What I think you should do. Remove yourself from this mess already. She's going to keep hurting you...how many times do you need to experience this before you realize it? She is right about one thing, you can do better. She's a mess and she's making you a mess. If she's going to hurt herself she will and you won't be able to stop it. Hurting herself over "this" is pretty far from the truth. If she's trying to hurt herself, it's been a long time coming.

Don't mistake trying/wanting to save her for love. I'm not saying that's so. It's just something to think about.

[turmaline]

don't get in relationships so young you guys!!!!

[AlteredStateGrl]

On top of that, I know I may sound old by saying it, but...you're both SO YOUNG. God, please find yourself or at least a strong sense of yourself before you go and put yourself in hard to get out of places.

[Smaerd]

I think all the advice here is awesome. Love and the perceptions of love are so skewed when your young. Your probably alot like a younger me. You've got a lot of heart to care for someone and want to take care of them. Though no problem can truly be solved by another person, they can be helped but the person with the problems needs to deal with them.

If she turns into the beautiful flower she has the potential to be later on then you should definetly give her the holler holler, though right now remain as friends!

[gweetar]

I have to admit, I find the title of your post somewhat amusing - "don't want to lead her on." Sounds like it should be, "she keeps leading ME on, what the hell should I do?" lol...

Yea, everybody here is right. Get out!!!! She will just keep doing this, especially at her young age. And, she'll just keep losing respect for you if you keep letting her do this to her." And, she'll keep thinking that she can keep doing it to you. If you still want to entertain possibilities, at least play "hard to get", as dumb as that sounds. Make her work for you.

ASG is right - sounds like you can do better.

[Suliman]

everyone here is right, probably alot more then i will be but...

i would try to figure out if you love her, or if you love the person she presents to you, because they sound WAY different.

anyway, best of luck to you man, this stuff sucks

[№1]

You're a little more than halfway to an age where you should consider a serious one on one relationship, you are however at the perfect age for finding out what you like. Its a long, long way to the end my friend, now is not the time to clutter it up with obstacles and pitfalls. Figure out who you are and what you want to do for you before you ever consider getting caught up in someone elses search for themselves.

[xMSx]

Originally Posted by №1

You're a little more than halfway to an age where you should consider a serious one on one relationship, you are however at the perfect age for finding out what you like. Its a long, long way to the end my friend, now is not the time to clutter it up with obstacles and pitfalls. Figure out who you are and what you want to do for you before you ever consider getting caught up in someone elses search for themselves.

well put. and agreed.

[SpankyMcLankey]

Yeah man, I don't know but this sounds like your first "real" relation ship. If it is, I hope you learn a lesson from this. Not like you deserved it or anything, but you can only learn by experience. It's not always bad either. Just live and learn. I understand some people have told you to let it go, and I understand you haven't learned that one yet. I'm your same age, but when I was in 8th grade, I had a gf that moved when we were "deep." I have ever since and still kinda giggle when I think about it. It's only natural though, I learned a good lesson early. It really intimidated me into getting into another relation ship, but you will soon recognize. Not everything you can control, but you have to do your best to stay on your feet physically and mentally.

[Dezzy]

why would you not want to be in a relationship with somebody who is actually good for you.. Your 17 and you say you dont want to have any kids.

Dude you have issues and I can see why the girl cheated on you. Because your a dumb immature kid

[Exempt]

mate. she is unstable as fuck. You gave her a chance and she fucked it up.

much as it could hurt, you have to leave her behind.

relationships can hurt however old you are, so its not that you are too young. She is clearly a bitch and not worth the heart ache any longer

At least you've got some practise in early.