i love my bf...but...

illest12 · 03-27-2009, 11:55 PM

I always miss my ex.
Or wish he was here.

I think maybe it's just because im with my current bf all the time and he drives me nuts,

but my question is,
do you think it's okay for me to really miss (or have love) for my ex and still be in love with my current bf. I know I love him...

or am i just a shitty person??

I just dont know right and wrong relationship wise sometimes...

reverie · 03-28-2009, 12:05 AM

Nah, its totally normal hun.. Each individual has different characteristics we can appreciate and characteristics we dislike. When you date a multitude of people you will realize just which aspects are important to you. Just because you are officially committed to this person doesn't mean that you wont desire traits he doesn't have. This may make you reassess what you want in life and where you should be. Which is always a good thing to do. Helps us grow. However, I suggest not demanding he change (not that you are) and to be mindful of just exactly the things you do appreciate in him. Whats important to you?

Love is a very dynamic organism

illest12 · 03-28-2009, 12:17 AM

thanks so much...growing up my parents didnt even talk so it's hard for me to acess what a normal healthy relationship is. However, I try really hard to be my personal best, because then everything is easier. If i'm confident in myself then it doesnt matter who comes and goes..
But your advice really makes sense. And I KNOW i love him, so i was troubled by the feelings for my ex lingering around..

but again, thanks

reverie · 03-28-2009, 12:30 AM

No problem

Anytime.

I know what its like my parents were very similar. Doing your personal best is all that can ever be asked of you.

Much love

TheGrandPuba · 03-28-2009, 12:42 AM

Reverie has given you some pretty good advice.

Just wondering if you're still in contact with your ex... if you still talk with him and deep down you want him back it isn't fair to your current bf. If there is no chance for you and your ex to ever get back together then I suggest you do your best not to let old feelings mess up your current relationship.

Kishar · 03-28-2009, 06:18 AM

You sound like a girl who wants their cake and eat it too... why don't you just fuck both of them? All, thats right..... you already have.

Grieves · 03-28-2009, 08:37 AM

next step is both at once....

**AlteredStateGrl** · 03-28-2009, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by illest12

I always miss my ex.
Or wish he was here.......

Well, he's not gonna be there. He's your ex...gone.

Originally Posted by illest12

I think maybe it's just because im with my current bf all the time and he drives me nuts

Why are you with someone who drives you nuts when he's around all the time? Maybe it's not that you miss your ex so much but that you're with someone you don't like all that much.

Originally Posted by illest12

do you think it's okay for me to really miss (or have love) for my ex and still be in love with my current bf. I know I love him......

You need to get over it already. Yes, yes it's fine to miss him or have some love left for him or whatever...but if you're letting get in the way of the attention/love you give your current bf, that's not fair to him so if you're not going to move on from the past, let this bf go and figure yourself out first.

The SARS Volta · 03-28-2009, 08:49 AM

I might be off, but it sounds like you settled for your current guy just for the sake of having a new boyfriend and perhaps not because you genuinely like him.

Consider being single for a while. The guy you do like is done and over, and you're not feeling the boyfriend you do have. By this you risk hurting him and misleading, so drop the relationship before it further expires if this is the case.