Disconnected

[wnfakind]

Anyone eles have a feeling that they seem disconnected from this world, sometimes not even this world but it seems like im disconnected from myself as if im observing myself and I have to consiouslly make choices.. movements, what im going to say, just wandering around observing everything happen, not interacting with the world outside yourself, feeling like you are the only person alive and that this is just story playing out in your head? Your to cautious because you don't want anything bad to happen, you really don't care but at the same time you care because you dont want confrontation.. I feel like im wandering around dazed confused not apart of this world watching everything happen and I feel like im just following status quoe to make do. I felt amazing and in place before when I was in love, but my wandering mind and worrying mind drove my love away.. now Im back to square one. Anyone have this feeling?

[Jenna_Grows]

what do you take away from this experience?

[wnfakind]

The experience itself.. I'm always to busy explaining it

[Jenna_Grows]

a detached awareness of my human form.. that's how i would describe my experience. When I experience that awareness.. out of body, I don't have self doubt or fear...it's like my emotions are in limbo.. I guess I feel curious, sometimes amazed and usually amused at life's details...

My opinion? Square one.. love yourself..

[wnfakind]

I could say I do but no one would believe me but all i seem to talk about and think about.. well besides the one person who made me forget about it... is the experience and the raw human emoition behind everyone but not mine which I feel everyone has the same emotion but react different on the basis we all grew up in different enviroments, even tho I can't explain how someone feels but how we all seem to fall into all day novetly and habits. I never felt like this untill I lost the one I loved because I fell into talking about it all the time..

[wnfakind]

exactly.. raw human emotion is the hardest to handel end of post

[SageTree]

I'm sorry to hear about your disatisfaction.

I myself often feel in but not of the world and I feel in a spot where observation is possible and recognize that the pace of life is really fast. This is stressful no doubt. You might be feeling reserved right now, but this doesn't mean it's a place that you have to to stay if you don't want too.

Practice Compassion with yourself and know that life ebbs and flows.

How long have you felt this way?

If you feel like you found what you wanted and would like this post closed just reply here or send me a PM, or we can talk there as well.

In loving kindness,
SageTree

[wnfakind]

Mainly I've felt like this since I dug deep into mushroom's and took huge doses where I felt like I broke some sort of threshold.. the whole ego death.. Felt like it alot more recently without even tripping or thinking about the trips.. alot seem's to be after losing my girl..

Alot of it started happening after I went through a really hard drug using phase.. It started to get alot better after I started to realize, the so called friend's I had wernt really friends and just drug friends...

After all of that I I met this girl who we dated for 4 year's... She broke it off because I wasnt going down the same path I once did, the whole drug scene, coke, e all of that carp.. she bailed on me and it made me feel as if I was missing out.. But then I realize now she has turned into a peice of trash and is nieve to the whole issues about drugs... she started to do blow and her care went away for the one's who acutally care about her and her deal is making friends with people who do all that same crap and she is now living with a dead beat 35 year old who's money goes up his nose and to booze she even told me she was using him... I feel as if I grew up to fast.. but I enjoy that scene but realize its a dead end.