about to be kicked out

[Parallax]

so i come home from the library to find my dad with my tax return check for $250 (he opened my mail to get it) demanding that i give it him. i dont mind helping my parents out monetarily, but i do mind my mail being opened. i confronted him about it, and this kicked off a huge argument about me being a freeloader. now he is demanding that i pay him $200 a week, over 2/3 of my weekly paycheck. there goes my plan for saving up for going to university next year. he refuses to acknowledge that opening my mail was wrong, trying to justify it with how its not "personal mail" which he was so nice not to open. fuck that, all mail is personal.

so what are my options here? i can think of two: pay him 800 a month like a good little boy, or find an apartment somewhere for less than that and live on my own, find a better job, etc.

i like the second option more, but i have a feeling my parents are gonna be bitches about it because they are the overprotective type and are going to try to keep me living here until i find a much better paying job.

i took a quick glance at the local classifieds, and it seems that i can get a basement apartment for around 500 a month. i make about 300 a week. including food and other necessities its gonna be really tight.

what to do?

[my_scatterheart]

Let him cool off a bit and explain your plans to save for school, say that you're trying to do the responsible thing and see if you can reason. Offer helpin out around the house more instead of forking over your pay check?

[fenderbender]

well if they are gonna try to keep you living there cause they are all over protective, then why not just pretend your gonna leave, make like you are, and either youll end up living on your own or your parents will give in and let you stay

or

talk with them and reason them down to a lower price.


how old are you?

[Parallax]

im 20

is it even feasible to support myself on 300 bucks a week? all i really need is food, internet, cellphone, cigarettes, and weed. i dont have a car or any other liabilities

[Mafoo]

im 21, id probably get out of there if i was going to have to pay rent and then still have my parents 'pulling rank' on me. if im paying rent id like to be able to do what i want

[Parallax]

ok so lets say a place is 500 monthly to rent, utilies and internet included, how much am actually going to have to pay, are there any hidden costs?

[my_scatterheart]

depends what you're renting.

[Mydriasis]

Where I'm from they have studio apartments ranging from 350-450 a month with some utilities included. Sure you don't have rooms or whatever but if your not a needy person than their pretty legit. Also the people you live around tend to be pretty liberal because either their broke too, or their kids too.

But I would do what My Scattered Heart says before doing anything drastic. Cuz moving is a big commitment even if you CAN find a lease for 6 months it's rough. Also if you could show your dad that you've actually been saving for school or even try getting your FAFSA(if your in the USA) and stuff all filled out I'm sure they'd reconsider.

Your family is probably going through some hard-times, even if not, it sounds like your pops was just stressing.

[Mafoo]

it would probably be good to keep a bit of savings as a cushion in case your car breaks down or you lose your job, you know... random money problems

[turmaline]

maybe you should go to a specialist...like a bank and get someone to work you up a budget.

it's free btw, then you can see what it will be like before you make your next move.

[my_scatterheart]

Also keep in mind: as much as I hate to say it - if you move out, you're not going to be saving for school anymore. You're going to be putting every cent you have into A)your rent B)your utilities C)your livelihood.
Food is at astronomical highs, don't underestimate what it costs to get decent meals in you. (You can say oh I'll just eat ramen forever, but you wont. Be realistic about your spending. Don't romance yourself into the idea of an apartment before you can actually do it feasibly)

[turmaline]

yes, if you are going to have internet, weed, a roof over your head, a cel, and only make 300 bucks aweek and don't go to school, you may very likely still be living the same way in 10 years...maybe...

time flys

[Mydriasis]

Yeah or if Gas goes on the rise again(like it did last year) you might find yourself skateboarding a couple miles every morning to get to where you need to go.

Also don't forget insurances, car insurance, health insurance, etc.

[turmaline]

car repairs

or bike repairs or skateboard repairs

winter clothing

clothing in general

[Parallax]

its such bullshit how i'm even in this situation, i really don't mind giving my parents money once in a while to help, but the way i'm being made to do it is unreasonable: having my mail opened by someone other than me and then demanding that i pay up whatever my tax return was (since he did the tax return for me he says he should get it, but never discussed with me before hand that he was going to demand money from me, or told me to do it myself). other than food i pay for all my expenses, never once did they ask for money and now i'm suddenly a freeloader after i tell him that he has no right to open my mail. wtf

[my_scatterheart]

Just an argument, it'll blow over.

[Aurora]

Let him cool off a bit and explain your plans to save for school, say that you're trying to do the responsible thing and see if you can reason. Offer helpin out around the house more instead of forking over your pay check?

this is solid advice. solid.

[myxomatosis]

Shit's basically been said. And been there done that.

Dad shouldn't have opened the mail. Let dude cool off then rationally explain to him that it's not the proper thing to do and that you have other plans for the majority of your money, that you'll be happy to kick him a few bucks and do your share of shit around the house that needs to be done but that you've got your future to take care of. If he can't understand that and you put it to him rationally then that's pretty fucked.

Definitely don't move out on such a tight budget, especially with the way shit is going. I've come ridiculously close to doing that a few times now and despite still being at home and shit not being as wonderful as I'd like I'd rather put up with the semi-occasional problem than be more or less miserable most of the time on my own. I'd be able to make it through, but not making ends meet or having a terrible time doing so isn't equal to having to put up with your parents trying to be parents.

Ride shit out and discuss it rationally when cooler heads prevail.

[al-Mu'akhkhir]

Dude you will not be able to support yourself on 600 a month, get a better job and STOP FREELOADING. Think about it, you think you should be allowed to live in your parents house, using their utilities and eating their food, for free?

Get real man. Get real. You're 20 years old. I would have kicked my kid out at 18, college or no.

[herbinator45]

you could probably live on your own for a lot less than 8 bills a month mang.. but ya, that's whacktarded.