What really scares me

[The Rev]

I've been ass-deep in hassle and trouble lately, so naturally, it has gotten me to thinking, and today, I had an epiphany of sorts.

The thing is, your very life can be dependent on the image that someone else has of you in their mind. For example, if my boss decides he doesn't like me, I could lose my job. And the truth is, there's not a whole lot I can do about what he's thinking. Most people make up their minds, and it's hard to change them. I mean, when was the last time you actually got anywhere with someone by arguing?

And that really scares the shit out of me, because there are some seriously irrational fuckers out there. It makes me want to go build a cabin in the woods, and live there, away from dependence on others, for the rest of my life.

Oddly, having this epiphany made me feel alot better. That's the really weird part. I've always been afraid of what people COULD do, I just never really put it together. And now that I understand it, I feel much better.



The Rev

[Smaerd]

Rev, I feel for you. And it is true that those things can happen. I've always kind of looked into moving away from society ever since I read Walden (never actually finished it thought). But I guess the best thing I can say is "Fuck 'em", you've already dealt with your share of shit I'm sure. It does suck to think that someone perspective can ruin your day/month/year. Me being a highly anxious person(deep down I bury it from the common public), I know the insecure feeling. I hate control drama's, you just have to understand that your boss may have that "superior" control on your job.

He does not have control over the next job you would take, or the next boss you'd have. But if you do find a formitable place to live in the woods I'll help start a colony.

[Mescalito]

Even in the woods a bear could dislike you.. and well.. that wouldn't be so great either.

M

[SmokeSomeDoja]

look beyond the dislike....ignore it to the extent that their perceptions are false and you doing what you do contradicts their irrationality...whic h may not work all that well for you in the short run but definitely will in the long run.

[Mescalito]

^Word

What really scares me is that I enjoy change far too much! I can never see myself settling down anywhere for a significant amount of time. A serious case of athletes foot.

M

[Paranoid Android]

I agree with you Rev.

I too want to live the life of a "nomad" in the forest somewhere.

But at the same time, I have to remember I am everything, even the boss that might fire me. Some days it's easier than others, thats for sure.

[verklingen]

you can spend your whole life worrying about what others might think of you, but even just a second spent not worrying could be more fulfilling than that whole life.

what does it matter if your boss fires you? who really gives a fuck? what the fuck is your job, anyway? who the fuck is your boss? can't you imagine yourself getting the stuff you get from your boss and from your job in another way? then what's the fear for?

you're already in a colony. you head the colony, for your part. it's called planet fucking earth and you control both how you pass through it and how it passes through you. you're a complimentary charge in the circuit of life, creating resistance with your fear and worry. they make it seem like you're controlling things because they slows things down and afford your singular mind a better chance to assimilate the data, but you cannot fathom the entire circuit. let go and rejoice.

[Captain Cannabis]

Originally Posted by Mescalito

Even in the woods a bear could dislike you.. and well.. that wouldn't be so great either.

M

would it be better if a bear in the woods decided he liked you?

[Smaerd]

hahaha I don't know why everyone is so tweaked out over fucking bears all of a sudden? bang those pots and pans.

[Mescalito]

Originally Posted by Captain Cannabis

would it be better if a bear in the woods decided he liked you?

It depends if it was a male or female.

M

[reverie]

Nah man I agree, it appears the so called 'unit' of this general organism or experience we call life has become so fragmented to the point where total fragmentation of self seems to be the only way to actually feel one with anything at all .

Sad, very sad.

[verklingen]

^ care to expound a bit? i'm inclined to comment but i'm afraid of confusing your semantics.

[Ego Tripping]

Originally Posted by verklingen

you can spend your whole life worrying about what others might think of you, but even just a second spent not worrying could be more fulfilling than that whole life.

what does it matter if your boss fires you? who really gives a fuck? what the fuck is your job, anyway? who the fuck is your boss? can't you imagine yourself getting the stuff you get from your boss and from your job in another way? then what's the fear for?

you're already in a colony. you head the colony, for your part. it's called planet fucking earth and you control both how you pass through it and how it passes through you. you're a complimentary charge in the circuit of life, creating resistance with your fear and worry. they make it seem like you're controlling things because they slows things down and afford your singular mind a better chance to assimilate the data, but you cannot fathom the entire circuit. let go and rejoice.

I agree. Its only the sense of temporary loss (egoic I suppose) that created fear and worry. Really, its people just making assumptions about life and then clinging to those assumptions rather than surrending to forces that might know better. Not even speaking esoterically even, but I think the mere fact the world is where it is right now considering what we've been through shows that the world is, by and large, a wonderful place filled with wonderful people.

[The Rev]

This discussion has gone in a different direction than intended. It was supposed to be about having a realization about a personal fear of mine. We all have expectations we take for granted so much that we cease to be aware of them. I became aware of one that was a major issue in my life.

This does not mean I'm wrong to be afraid of people's irrationality, or that I shouldn't be cautious about how much influence over my fate that I allow them to have. But the main thrust of it was that, now that I realize this deep fear that I've been carrying, it gives new clarity to my life. I don't know; maybe I should have thought about it more before I said anything.



The Rev

[reverie]

Its sort of odd Rev, while I was thinking about this thread earlier today I noted that it veered off your original sentiment and was curious of how you'd take it. I think the main thing that threw us off a bit was the method of approach and title.. Perhaps we interpreted it as more of a vent of frustration than a general realization to be applied on a multitude of levels. Either way our subconscious constraints really bound us more than we know, and any realizations of such things can only better our experience of life.

Originally Posted by verklingen

^ care to expound a bit? i'm inclined to comment but i'm afraid of confusing your semantics.

I was basically just saying how I feel our experience of life as we know it today has come to the point where things are so separated and compartmentalized from one another, that the easiest way to really feel one with all or any of it is to further separate oneself by immersing self into one specific arena. Similar to how a slice of a pie lets us taste how the whole pie may taste. Or how we have so many different cultures and subculters , trends, genres.. That we seem to subscribe to very specifically in order to fit in or express our selves in a limited fashion that is most recognizable by others. What I said wasn't by any means an absolute statement, it just feels that its the easiest route with such fragmented lives we lead.

[Peace seeker]

Originally Posted by SmokeSomeDoja

look beyond the dislike....ignore it to the extent that their perceptions are false and you doing what you do contradicts their irrationality...whic h may not work all that well for you in the short run but definitely will in the long run.

you re right Doja

thats a very clear thought

[Hostile]

Originally Posted by verklingen

what does it matter if your boss fires you? who really gives a fuck? what the fuck is your job, anyway? who the fuck is your boss?

Fuck yeah.

What really scares me - heights.

[verklingen]

Originally Posted by reverie

I was basically just saying how I feel our experience of life as we know it today has come to the point where things are so separated and compartmentalized from one another, that the easiest way to really feel one with all or any of it is to further separate oneself by immersing self into one specific arena. Similar to how a slice of a pie lets us taste how the whole pie may taste. Or how we have so many different cultures and subculters , trends, genres.. That we seem to subscribe to very specifically in order to fit in or express our selves in a limited fashion that is most recognizable by others. What I said wasn't by any means an absolute statement, it just feels that its the easiest route with such fragmented lives we lead.

i think i'm getting it now. are you suggesting our society exhibits a trend of fragmenting the self in order to feel like a part of a group where those fragments meet? in middle school and high school i remember the different crowds: there were the goths, the skaters, the punks, preps, etc. there were also skater/goths, skater/punks, etc. does this (simplistic) analogy suit what you're trying to convey, that we tend to further fragment (or, if i may use the word, deny) ourselves in order to find a more specialized niche to describe who we consider ourselves to be? if so i understand what you're saying, but there are alternatives to this social behavior.

for example, i personally don't care what about me is recognizable to others. i concern myself more with expressing in a way that is recognizable to me and go on from there. of course that wasn't always the case, however "individual" i considered myself to be while growing up. but as i'm developing myself i've noticed that the outer (what i present to the world) falls into place according to how i organize the inner, and that's led to the realization that i've spent most of my life working ass-backwards.

[tedkennedy]

i love you guys.