family trees

[Nug_King]

I was sitting by myself in the woods a few days ago letting my mind wander around after smoking a bit (highly reccomend it ). I eventually setteled on a thought and powerful feeling about my family tree. It was a vivid 2D picture of the classic family tree, me at the base of the trunk with each past generation splitting in two, one for the man one for the woman. After I had gotten a vivid mental image of that, I had a rush of energy flow into me, as if all the life energies from my direct family were flowing into me. I wish I could put into words how expansive and powerful this energy was, hundreds of individuals whose lives had funneled down and condensed into me. It pulsed down my mental tree image and gave me a feeling that I was in possesion of my own heritage, that their lives had inexorably led/flowed into my existence. I had never before felt such a force streaming into me and "blowing" up my own self into something that was more than anything I could be on my own. I deeply enjoyed the feeling of connectedness and oneness with my own life's history, but I also am keenly aware of the gigantic responsibility that I have to my famlies life force.


I am the condensed energy of untold thousands of humans and other animals before them. I am not here by myself, I am here with everything that came before me, and I feel the weight of that responsibility to my ancestors. It excites and intimidates me to no end.

Any one else felt/feels like this? It is a humbling point of realization.

[verklingen]

not only that man, most every atom in your body was forged deep in the heart of primordial, super-giant stars which were doomed to explode in a cataclysmic supernova and beget new stars which produced more of your atoms. through untold eons of this process some of them settled here on earth, churning in our infant planets molten body. others came to embody asteroids or comets fated for terrestrial collision. countless beings and geological forms have utilized these atoms in their earthly stay, leading straight (in a manner of speaking) up to the unique arrangement of them known as you. your legacy is deep indeed. . .

[Center]

^I like that notion. It's comforting, considering I am adopted and don't know my real family...at all. No pictures, names, nothing.

[Nug_King]

That straight line hits everyone too, makes me think of hyperbolic space.

[Storm Crow]

Nug, I've had the same vision/experience. And now you know why my other main hobby is genealogy! lol If you get interested in it, some good FREE sites are rootsweb- a good place to start, genealogywise -the best site for Afro-Americans seeking their roots and not bad for others, either, and familysearch - the Mormon's site. Or just google "free genealogy".

I literally have both horse thieves and saints in my family. To me it is fascinating to find out who all those people were- not just their names and dates, but who they were as people. I even found some letters (reproduced on line) from one of my Civil War ancestors to his very pregnant wife. He died of measles a couple of weeks after the last letter and and was the first soldier buried at Confederate's Rest in Mobile. His wife, Jane, lost the baby at birth. A sad story, but part of my story, too.

Center, my illegitimate, half-sister was adopted out (big family scandal!). I found some people called "search angels" who found her for me. Cost me less than $100. You need your city, date of birth and someone with a "reverse birth index". If you really want to know, it can be done. There are several sites for adoptees and birth-mothers who are looking for that "lost" person in their lives.

My half-sister is happy with her (upper class) life and wants no real contact. That's OK with me, I just wanted to know that she was OK. I send her short birthday and Xmas greetings by email, but otherwise leave her alone. I also gave her some medical info she needed to know. She knows my door is open to her if she ever changes her mind.

Granny