Stupid fuckin' questions

[Hostile]

Hey kids,

Being hugely anti-social it's taken me a long time to find anyone who even knew a dealer. I've also been unemployed for a long time and so had no cash to spend even if I knew someone. Recently I made some new friends and got a job, and today those two things sort of came together, as two of my colleagues came forwards and offered to sell me weed. I've got the cash and the will, so I organised to buy some next monday.

Of-course, being ever the nerd and newbie, I've got questions. Stupid ones, most likely, that I should probably know considering I'm on the YaHooka forums. Thing is, I've never bought weed, I've only ever smoked it a couple of times, and I'm nervous. About getting ripped off or fucked over. So, sorry in advance if anything I ask strikes you as ridiculously stupid.

1) What the hell does one pay for weed in England these days? I don't know the pricing system, and I think the guy I'm buying from suspects this. He's a total dick (in a very amiable sort of way, I suppose) and would probably fuck me over if he had the chance.

2) How the fuck do you know the quality of weed? I've read about soapbar and glass-grass, but that's not really my primary concern. I'm just worried he's going to sell me pedestrian shit at inflated prices. All I've been told is that it's "well good shit, man".

3) Where the hell am I going to smoke this shit? Can't smoke at home, haven't got a car, don't have any cool friends, too fucking cold to chill outside. Any suggestions? I've already decided to bake something for my mum as a christmas treat. She has chronic pains that it should theoretically help with.

[Geeno]

oh dear..

[dime_bag]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[. at the end]

Damn, fix your other problems before you start puffing lol. I feel for you.

[v3d4]

1. i dont know. if youre worried this guy is the type to give you the highland business then i suggest buying a small amount or set your own limit by deciding how much you want to pay, and just tell him you can only spend 20 pounds or whatever. dont give a number higher than youre willing to part with. if he tries to offer you some tiny little amount for that or tries to talk you out of more cash just say no thanx.

2. the only way to judge quality by looking comes from experience, as far a i know there is no other way. its very difficult to tell just by looking, because theres some fantastic looking stuff out there that is really very weak, or hasnt been handled properly and will have a bad taste, etc.
while the only true test is in the smoking, the three things to note are look, smell and feel. all three things taken together can give a rough estimate of quality. avoid a lot of thick stems and twigs or anything which looks leafy. look for reddish/brown pistils, sprinkling of crystal frosting (which will not be apparent in all cases) and a pleasing green color. if it looks brown or ugly, thats not necessarily a sign of bad weed if the smell and feel is good. if it has a funny smell (like ammonia for example) it should be avoided. you want a good smell, not necessarily strong, but simply that good weed smell. if you dont know tht good weed smell then youll know it when and if you smell it.
the feel of weed is variable so i dont know what to say beyond the obvious: it should be neither wet and mushy nor crumbly powdery dry; neither hard and crunchy nor excessively light and fluffy.
edit: hard and crunchy may be ok but not too hard and crunchy, like it was dried in a kiln

usually cool people will let you have a little toke before you buy any. if they dont/wont or circumstances dont permit, then you should only buy a small amount like a gram or two. if they wont go along with that, and say stuff like "i only move weight, i dont have time for nickel and dime bullshit" (or whatever your UK equivalent is) then you should not do any business with them.

3. when the time is right, the perfect safe and secure smoking place will present itself. if the perfect place does not manifest, then the time is not right.

hope this was helpful.
you should also search these forums and will probably get much better answers and way more info that i have given here. good luck

[Puffman]

Is England not pretty liberal about weed usage? Just roll up a joint (you might want to practice with tobacco first), head to the park and smoke it like a cigarette. If you see a cop just casually put it out.

Also, check out the prices thread for your area, there is a search function for every thread. Just from a quick search it looks like 20 pounds will get you 1/8 of an ounce (or 3.5 grams), which can last a pot newbie a fair amount of time.

Glad to have you on board man, and don't feel stupid about asking questions around here.

[verklingen]

^ dude and you're not modding anymore? for shame (ours).

[Hostile]

hope this was helpful.

It was man, thanks. Very helpful indeed.

Glad to have you on board man, and don't feel stupid about asking questions around here.

I appreciate it dude. I never doubted that I could turn to Yahookans for advice and information.

I dunno just how liberal our cops are (we're mostly famous these days as one of the worst police states in the world) but the park is a good suggestion. I just hope this weather picks up soon.

[Captain Cannabis]

don't worry about the questions. it was something we all pretty much had to learn at some point. based on what i know from friends lots of the "pot" smoked in the uk is hash. its really hard to tell if you have good hash, but relatively easy to notice bad hash.

that is probably not very helpful. don't buy anything the looks/tastes gross or seems like way too little for what money you paid. i think most of us have been ripped off at some point (at least i know i have)

[mj23]

It was man, thanks. Very helpful indeed.


I appreciate it dude. I never doubted that I could turn to Yahookans for advice and information.

I dunno just how liberal our cops are (we're mostly famous these days as one of the worst police states in the world) but the park is a good suggestion. I just hope this weather picks up soon.

your police don't even carry guns/rifles

[Jimmy Coonan]

Unless it is physically dangerous to spend five minutes outside it's not too cold, man up or throw on a hat and a couple extra layers.

And I wouldn't bake something for your mom without telling her what it is. If you just give her a weed brownie and she doesn't know what's in it she'll most likely freak out and have a very unpleasant high and most likely kill you.

[Xil]

Don't worry too much about getting ripped off, if you do get ripped off a little jsut never do business with him again.

Also, dont buy weed while shitfaced. One time i did this and ended up paying a shit-ton for some shitty mexican brick weed, all because i was too drunk to see it.

Also why can't you smoke inside? Cant you just use a sploof/silencer/blowie?

[Hostile]

they do in some areas i think, dont quote me on that

That's true mate. There's about 3 places in the country where the beat cops are authorised to carry arms. Obviously they're also armed outside the Houses of Parliament, inside airports and around other "sensitive" areas of the country.

And I wouldn't bake something for your mom without telling her what it is. If you just give her a weed brownie and she doesn't know what's in it she'll most likely freak out and have a very unpleasant high and most likely kill you.

Don't worry man, my mum's cool with it. She's agreed to put my debt on hold in exchange for a weed brownie or two. I've got very liberal parents.

Also why can't you smoke inside? Cant you just use a sploof/silencer/blowie?

Nah, I've got no expendable cash. If I had any I'd spend it on a better bong. I suppose I could smoke inside but I don't want to stink up the place.

[DeafTones]

oh dear..

HA HAHA

soapbar and glass-grass

So this is what they call it these days.
If the weed smells good, looks good, weighs out good, then it's probably good weed.
Don't pay anymore than 50 for a small.


As for places to smoke, figure it out your goddamn self.

[Xil]

"Nah, I've got no expendable cash. If I had any I'd spend it on a better bong. I suppose I could smoke inside but I don't want to stink up the place."

costs almost nothing.

Take a paper towel role or an empty bottle of water with holes cut in the bottom (thats what i do) and stuff it with dryer sheets and you have one made. Costs almost nothing if you already have dryer sheets.

blow the smoke through it and it shouldn't stink up the house at all.

[Geeno]

Don't pay anymore than 50 for a small.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[wiseco]

HA HAHA


So this is what they call it these days.
If the weed smells good, looks good, weighs out good, then it's probably good weed.
Don't pay anymore than 50 for a small.


As for places to smoke, figure it out your goddamn self.

soapbar is shit hash, and glass grass is weed sprayed with small beads of glass to make appearance better.

[wiseco]

thanks lol

[DeafTones]

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

don't pay anymore than $50 for an 1/8th

[Hostile]

"Nah, I've got no expendable cash. If I had any I'd spend it on a better bong. I suppose I could smoke inside but I don't want to stink up the place."

costs almost nothing.

Take a paper towel role or an empty bottle of water with holes cut in the bottom (thats what i do) and stuff it with dryer sheets and you have one made. Costs almost nothing if you already have dryer sheets.

blow the smoke through it and it shouldn't stink up the house at all.

Thanks man, you're a lifesaver. I'll try that.