Teenagers and pot smoking

It'sJustMe · 02-02-2008, 10:15 AM

Ok, so, I know this topic has been done before but I need a little revisit because it's something that's been on my mind a bit lately and I am really just unsure where I stand...

Obviously, I smoke pot.. I started as a teenager and continued into motherhood (not during pregnancies, fyi).

I don't buy into the theory that every teenager who smokes pot is more likely to get into trouble, but I do know from personal experience that it can lead to a kid not really giving a shit about much else but partying and getting stoned. I know that's not the case for all, but I feel like it would be for my daughter, given her "gung ho" attitude about everything and how much like me she is.

My kids, especially my oldest, are getting older now and I feel the pressure increasing to come to some sort of stance on this issue.

I am not the parent that would be completely dismissive of my kids smoking, but don't want to be a hypocrite either. I feel like it's a fine line I am facing.

My mother smoked and when I was a teenager she always said this:

"I don't think marijuana is a bad thing, if used in moderation, once you're an adult. Right now you're still growing and your brain is still developing and I don't want you smoking until you are out of school".

Now, obviously this wasn't very effective... But it is a very respectable way to handle the subject, being that she smoked herself. And now that I am an adult I agree with her.

How have you or will you handle this, parents? And teenagers, how would you think it most effective AND respectful for your parents to handle this topic with you?

Is there a way to be a smoker and still try to dissuade your teenage children from experimenting?

OldMan&TheWeed · 02-02-2008, 10:24 AM

I know regular tokers that talk about their cannabis usage with their elementary school aged children. They do this because they see is as harmless as drinking wine, and therefore they see no reason to hide it from them. I believe this is ill advised for two obvious reasons:

1) They are putting their lives in the hands of small children. Few adults can be trusted with a secret, and they are trusting little kids with information that could (depending on where they live) put them behind bars, cost them their jobs, and separate the family.

2) It’s not fair for an adult to lay that much on a child. Parents should insulate their kids from adult cares until it is appropriate. Alcohol and drugs are analogous to sex. You should not tell them more than they need to know before they need to know it.

In our own situation the younger ones know nothing about us smoking weed. We rarely smoke anyway - maybe one or two times a month at the most. We don't live a stoner lifestyle and the kids have never been around when we were stoned. Drugs aren’t on the radar screen of our seven year-old and so she has never asked any questions. Our eleven year old has asked questions, and we have given mostly honest answers. When he asks about various substances we tell him what the dangers and effects of each one to the best of our knowledge. But when he asked if I had ever smoked pot, I lied and said no. I’m not a very good liar, my son’s pretty sharp, and maybe he saw through my deception. If he did he had the good grace not to delve any deeper.

My stepson is sixteen, and has been with us for less than a year. Because of his age, and because we knew he had smoked weed before he came to live with us, we have always had honest frank discussions about drugs and alcohol. We don’t prohibit him from indulging, but we don’t endorse or provide it to him either. We would prefer for him to be honest with us about what’s going on than impose a sham prohibition. Instead of just saying no, we talk to him about responsible use. In return he volunteers to us information and stories about what goes on with his friends and at school.

For a while my stepson talked about a kid at school who was always talking and bragging about how much weed he had, how his relatives grew etc. He said this guy would light up at school under the bleachers, in the restroom, whenever and wherever he could. My stepson claimed that he never had smoked at school, but I don’t believe him; although I didn’t push him on this. I just told him to keep his distance from that kid and never to smoke with him at school. I told him that people like this guy believed that everyone was ready to keep his secret, but at least half of the kids would love to turn him in. Sure enough, by the end of the school year he was caught and expelled along with his smoking buddies. My stepson was not among them.

danksurvive · 02-02-2008, 02:48 PM

there is no way to stop your kids from smoking. thousands upon thousands and thousands of people have smoked and smoked a lot of grass.

in our world today this subject of life is very delicate [thank you mr. and mrs. reagan]. the american public education system has been the greatest narcotic that numbs the mind of children and has been doing so for quite some time now. the best way to approach an older kid it is what old man did with his stepson and keep a positive attitude with your kids when it comes down to it. I agree also that one shouldn't throw a lot on a younger child. take it easy with the. just let them know how to play their cards right and have fun. ALWAYS listen to what they have to say and respect every opinion and thought of theirs. never have your children become your enemies whatever there age may be. if they have a dream whether it be to sustain a high end job or if they want to smoke a pound of weed, never shoot down your kids dreams but guide them so they may remain safe. the guidance is all up to you.

the sensimilla plant was used as fiber that became the crucible for life for many centuries. the sensimilla plant does not need medical care, insurance, money, shelter. the power of the plant is extraordinaire so I believe we can all can learn something from the plant and we can all teach the plant.

It'sJustMe · 02-02-2008, 02:54 PM

Very nice response, old man...

Well thought out and composed. Insightful to say the least.

I appreciate the perspective and guidance. Thank you.

It'sJustMe · 02-02-2008, 02:58 PM

Ok, let me throw out this new angle:

The other parent, in a separate household, may as well lead the DARE program.

OldMan&TheWeed · 02-03-2008, 12:51 PM

We should resist the urge to enlist our children as soldiers in our ideological battles, especially when their other parent is in the opposite camp. Remember, you cannot belittle her without belittling yourself as well.

If I were in the situation you describe of the other parent leading the DARE program, I’d focus on the common ground in our two positions. I’d lay down the law and let my children know that I don’t approve of them experimenting at their age. Tell them the REAL risks (physical & legal) and let them know that you expect them to achieve great things in their lives, but that the decision is - in the end - THEIRS. Nothing will make a teen rebel faster than an attempt to infringe on their growing autonomy accompanied by the sour scent of parental hypocrisy. So be honest. Resist contradicting their mom in what is in essence an ideological disagreement. And try to align your messages as best you can.

SpankyMcLankey · 02-03-2008, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldMan&TheWeed

2) It’s not fair for an adult to lay that much on a child. Parents should insulate their kids from adult cares until it is appropriate. Alcohol and drugs are analogous to sex. You should not tell them more than they need to know before they need to know it.

Hey sorry I never read much more but you're trying to make it sound like they have to know what it is. Can't you just smoke it without telling them it's not tobacco?

I mean I've never had a kid or anything but until they are old enough to know what it is, would it be bad to raise them that way?

While they are still kids they don't know you can't grow tobacco inside? lol

I had multiple friends in high school that talked about catching their parents.
I don't actually ever remember them talking about it as a youngin though. The most they would say is that their eyes were bloodshot, getting food and they would smell. No growing or anything that I recall.

Soakedloopie · 02-04-2008, 02:30 PM

Thanks. You give sage advice, old man.

Spanky, I was referring to children getting into their teen years, when a conversation or several will be appropriate.

37iroks · 02-04-2008, 03:37 PM

whenever i'm a parent and have the same mindset i do now at 16 (which i doubt i will, but deep down i know i will.)

i wouldnt be like here, or go get stoned or anything..i'd tell them to be smart, do well in school unless they want me to drug test randomly..and don't be telling your friends i know, bringing them here stoned, or getting caught..be as if we didn't know but if you ever have a problem to tell me about it..maybe one day if they were old enough and did smoke i'd burn with them, occassionally. i was together with a girl who smoked with her dad and brother at least once a week, it gets weird then because the mom doesn't know her daughter or brother smoke.

it gets complicated but that is how i would go about it, or so i hope i will. i don't know if i made myself sound like an idiot or understanding, flame me if you like!

Soakedloopie · 02-04-2008, 04:38 PM

^ Thank you. I was hoping that I would get some good objective feedback from the kids on how they would like to be dealt with by their parents when it comes to this issue. I appreciate your input.

Xil · 02-04-2008, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by It'sJustMe

Ok, let me throw out this new angle:

The other parent, in a separate household, may as well lead the DARE program.

If its possible, I'd bring some truth to the other parent. Inform him how if you supply your kid with real facts and facilitate openness then they are much more likely to be responsible about it or not smoke at all. On the other hand if you supply your kid with DARE propaganda once the facts start to reveal themselves as false the whole anti-drug argument fails and your kid will probably go sneaking behind your back and get into shady situations.

Btw i'm 17 if thats relevant. And i know thats how the DARE propaganda played out for me, not that i have any regrets (although being able to be open with my parents would make life much better, i find myself lying to them just out of habit now, something i'm sure no parent really wants.)

37iroks · 02-04-2008, 05:00 PM

no problem, glad you understand what i was talking about..i mean i was in my friends shed (its a lot cooler then you think, couches, electricity, heaters, tv, microwaves, etc.) and we were smoking a bong and his mom came in and got into the rotation...that is when you know something is a little wrong..

HCL · 02-10-2008, 06:09 PM

Being a teenager that smokes weed, I should help some.

I am currently a Junior in high school, but my Freshman + Sophomore I totally screwed off. I tried weed within the first few months of my Sophomore year. Mind you, my Dad + Stepmom both smoke cigarettes and weed.

But when I began smoking, I never had the feeling that "Eh, I'm not going to do anything today in class", and I never felt like it took away from my motivation. And I'm not a bad kid at all and actually did try in school, but could never get the right balance.

But one day, my dad asked if I had smoked weed before, and I said I had tried it but didn't do it because of the price. The next day he asked me again, and I ended up telling him the truth. I left to go smoke of all things, and came back to my Dad with a bowl loaded for me.

After we smoked, he told me the ground rules. He said my grades HAD to stay up past a 2.0. That report card (which was the last of the year) came and all my classes were C's. My most recent report card (the first one since) was a 3.2, my highest ever.

In my opinion, I think when they get to around 15 years old, you should give them a talk and let them decide if they want to smoke or not. But make sure you set ground rules, like good grades and make sure they're safe about it (know somene reliable who won't lace/rip them off, know when it's appropriate to smoke and when it's not, where/where not to smoke, etc).

I think the biggest thing is not getting mad. I never told my dad because I thought he would get mad. But when I realized he trusted me with a responsibility to do it, a lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Sir Psycho Sexy · 02-10-2008, 07:00 PM

Hey I'm 16 and my mom's been pretty much a daily pot smoker since before I was born, so i thought i'd throw in my two cents.

I just wanna start out by saying that if the issue ever arises that your children ask if you smoke pot, i think the best way to handle it would be to be straight with them. In my experience, when i asked my mom about her little vice(after finding a big bag of herb with a pretty pungent odour) she flat out lied, probably out of nervousness, but never the less it was pretty damaging at that age(10) to both find something like that out, then have your mother lie to your face. It was those kinds of things that got me into pot. I figured, if she's going to lie and smoke pot, why should I do any different? So after staking out for awhile I began to find her little stashes and helping myself to a gram here and there, all because she couldn't find the courage to be honest with her kid.

And about a general perspective on usage, I'd go with Old man's advice and make them aware of the dangers, but let them in on the benefits you personally revieve from sparking. If at some point they start smoking...noticibily enough for you to catch them, try and set up some ground rules like, if you don't smoke at school you can be high in the house on weekends(pending variables like homework and other commitments) not only does this establish a mutual respect, but it lets you keep an eye on them to make sure it doesn't lead to something like sex.
...and thats about all i have to say on that issue, cheers and good luck

**Hawk Eye** · 02-13-2008, 08:47 PM

Been there done that twice with teens. I learned a long time ago that your kids need to know they can talk to you about anything with out being yelled at or be littled..

What i did was set my kids down and told them that MJ was not a bad drug as some people might lead them to believe. Then i described to them that there is a difference between using drugs/alcohol as a get-a-way instead of moderation to help in life.. I described the medical benefits, as well as the dangers..

I explained to them how the laws for drugs/alcohol not only damage their lives (if caught) but also the lives of parents or guardians.. I also give examples of people that have had their lives ruined by MJ/Alcohol and give them examples of people who have had their lives changed for the better for their use..

After all the discussion and answering questions, I laid down the law of this house... There is never to be any usage or possession of any drug/alcohol in my house other than my own.. They are not allowed to touch any of my stuff till they are over the age of 18.. If they do any thing, they have to do it some where else..

I give them all the reasons as to why they can never do this in my home, as in the legal matters that would drag me into courts, loosing the house and property as well as lead the law to finding my stuff and the bullshit that would cause..

I also told them that they will never be able to drive any of my vehicles if i knew of them doing drugs/drinking.. I can't afford to loose my insurance, and vehicles due to their decisions after the conversations about this..

I told them they could do what ever they wanted when they were of legal age as long as i was not brought down by their decision.

My oldest did experiment with MJ and alcohol before he was 18, but never did it here or get on the road while under the influence. How ever after he turned 18 and moved out, he has also used my advice to stay away from the public when intoxicated. He also makes sure that he is around people he knows he can trust when using MJ.. Never takes a chance of the wrong person finding out he smokes MJ..

My 16 year old and i have had this talk back when he was 14.. He knows the rules and knows i don't approve of any use.. To this day, he has never even experimented with anything..

Make sure you keep the trust and honesty open with your kids.. They will talk to you openly if you show concern but do not scorn.. Only if they abuse or do things that will harm them should you make strict rules and so forth...

When you can communicate with your kids openly, can you know what they are doing and know they are hearing what you say....

I would also let the teen know what would happen if the wrong people found out what you were doing as well.. Most times the kids don't want their parents to end up in trouble..

Good luck with your situation..

37iroks · 02-13-2008, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Psycho Sexy

Hey I'm 16..

make sure it doesn't lead to something like sex.

what the hell is wrong with you?

Sir Psycho Sexy · 02-13-2008, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 37iroks

what the hell is wrong with you?

i have 3 legs?

Jimmy Coonan · 02-14-2008, 09:26 AM

Marijuana: it's a gateway drug to sex.

37iroks · 02-14-2008, 01:30 PM

lol i never met a heterosexual 16 yr old male who didn't want to get his dick wet.

02-02-2008, 10:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
It'sJustMe Seriously though? Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Lost and Found All The Time! Posts: 431 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Teenagers and pot smoking Ok, so, I know this topic has been done before but I need a little revisit because it's something that's been on my mind a bit lately and I am really just unsure where I stand... Obviously, I smoke pot.. I started as a teenager and continued into motherhood (not during pregnancies, fyi). I don't buy into the theory that every teenager who smokes pot is more likely to get into trouble, but I do know from personal experience that it can lead to a kid not really giving a shit about much else but partying and getting stoned. I know that's not the case for all, but I feel like it would be for my daughter, given her "gung ho" attitude about everything and how much like me she is. My kids, especially my oldest, are getting older now and I feel the pressure increasing to come to some sort of stance on this issue. I am not the parent that would be completely dismissive of my kids smoking, but don't want to be a hypocrite either. I feel like it's a fine line I am facing. My mother smoked and when I was a teenager she always said this: "I don't think marijuana is a bad thing, if used in moderation, once you're an adult. Right now you're still growing and your brain is still developing and I don't want you smoking until you are out of school". Now, obviously this wasn't very effective... But it is a very respectable way to handle the subject, being that she smoked herself. And now that I am an adult I agree with her. How have you or will you handle this, parents? And teenagers, how would you think it most effective AND respectful for your parents to handle this topic with you? Is there a way to be a smoker and still try to dissuade your teenage children from experimenting? __________________ She held her grief behind her eyes like an ocean & when she leaned forward into the day it spilled onto the floor & she wiped at it quickly with her foot & pretended no one had seen.. Last edited by It'sJustMe; 02-02-2008 at 02:48 PM.

02-02-2008, 10:24 AM	#2 (permalink)
OldMan&TheWeed The Old Man and the Weed Join Date: May 2006 Location: The West Posts: 1,481 Thanks: 21 Thanked 173 Times in 94 Posts	I know regular tokers that talk about their cannabis usage with their elementary school aged children. They do this because they see is as harmless as drinking wine, and therefore they see no reason to hide it from them. I believe this is ill advised for two obvious reasons: 1) They are putting their lives in the hands of small children. Few adults can be trusted with a secret, and they are trusting little kids with information that could (depending on where they live) put them behind bars, cost them their jobs, and separate the family. 2) It’s not fair for an adult to lay that much on a child. Parents should insulate their kids from adult cares until it is appropriate. Alcohol and drugs are analogous to sex. You should not tell them more than they need to know before they need to know it. In our own situation the younger ones know nothing about us smoking weed. We rarely smoke anyway - maybe one or two times a month at the most. We don't live a stoner lifestyle and the kids have never been around when we were stoned. Drugs aren’t on the radar screen of our seven year-old and so she has never asked any questions. Our eleven year old has asked questions, and we have given mostly honest answers. When he asks about various substances we tell him what the dangers and effects of each one to the best of our knowledge. But when he asked if I had ever smoked pot, I lied and said no. I’m not a very good liar, my son’s pretty sharp, and maybe he saw through my deception. If he did he had the good grace not to delve any deeper. My stepson is sixteen, and has been with us for less than a year. Because of his age, and because we knew he had smoked weed before he came to live with us, we have always had honest frank discussions about drugs and alcohol. We don’t prohibit him from indulging, but we don’t endorse or provide it to him either. We would prefer for him to be honest with us about what’s going on than impose a sham prohibition. Instead of just saying no, we talk to him about responsible use. In return he volunteers to us information and stories about what goes on with his friends and at school. For a while my stepson talked about a kid at school who was always talking and bragging about how much weed he had, how his relatives grew etc. He said this guy would light up at school under the bleachers, in the restroom, whenever and wherever he could. My stepson claimed that he never had smoked at school, but I don’t believe him; although I didn’t push him on this. I just told him to keep his distance from that kid and never to smoke with him at school. I told him that people like this guy believed that everyone was ready to keep his secret, but at least half of the kids would love to turn him in. Sure enough, by the end of the school year he was caught and expelled along with his smoking buddies. My stepson was not among them. __________________ The above story is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

02-02-2008, 02:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
danksurvive yeee Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 259 Thanks: 10 Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts	there is no way to stop your kids from smoking. thousands upon thousands and thousands of people have smoked and smoked a lot of grass. in our world today this subject of life is very delicate [thank you mr. and mrs. reagan]. the american public education system has been the greatest narcotic that numbs the mind of children and has been doing so for quite some time now. the best way to approach an older kid it is what old man did with his stepson and keep a positive attitude with your kids when it comes down to it. I agree also that one shouldn't throw a lot on a younger child. take it easy with the. just let them know how to play their cards right and have fun. ALWAYS listen to what they have to say and respect every opinion and thought of theirs. never have your children become your enemies whatever there age may be. if they have a dream whether it be to sustain a high end job or if they want to smoke a pound of weed, never shoot down your kids dreams but guide them so they may remain safe. the guidance is all up to you. the sensimilla plant was used as fiber that became the crucible for life for many centuries. the sensimilla plant does not need medical care, insurance, money, shelter. the power of the plant is extraordinaire so I believe we can all can learn something from the plant and we can all teach the plant. __________________ tHiNk greEn.

02-02-2008, 02:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
It'sJustMe Seriously though? Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Lost and Found All The Time! Posts: 431 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Very nice response, old man... Well thought out and composed. Insightful to say the least. I appreciate the perspective and guidance. Thank you. __________________ She held her grief behind her eyes like an ocean & when she leaned forward into the day it spilled onto the floor & she wiped at it quickly with her foot & pretended no one had seen..

02-02-2008, 02:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
It'sJustMe Seriously though? Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Lost and Found All The Time! Posts: 431 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Ok, let me throw out this new angle: The other parent, in a separate household, may as well lead the DARE program. __________________ She held her grief behind her eyes like an ocean & when she leaned forward into the day it spilled onto the floor & she wiped at it quickly with her foot & pretended no one had seen..

02-03-2008, 12:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
OldMan&TheWeed The Old Man and the Weed Join Date: May 2006 Location: The West Posts: 1,481 Thanks: 21 Thanked 173 Times in 94 Posts	We should resist the urge to enlist our children as soldiers in our ideological battles, especially when their other parent is in the opposite camp. Remember, you cannot belittle her without belittling yourself as well. If I were in the situation you describe of the other parent leading the DARE program, I’d focus on the common ground in our two positions. I’d lay down the law and let my children know that I don’t approve of them experimenting at their age. Tell them the REAL risks (physical & legal) and let them know that you expect them to achieve great things in their lives, but that the decision is - in the end - THEIRS. Nothing will make a teen rebel faster than an attempt to infringe on their growing autonomy accompanied by the sour scent of parental hypocrisy. So be honest. Resist contradicting their mom in what is in essence an ideological disagreement. And try to align your messages as best you can. __________________ The above story is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

02-04-2008, 02:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
Soakedloopie ~~ Girly Girl ~~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Lost In The Details Posts: 3,556 Thanks: 2 Thanked 106 Times in 48 Posts	Thanks. You give sage advice, old man. Spanky, I was referring to children getting into their teen years, when a conversation or several will be appropriate. __________________ If I love you with all my heart, she said, what will you give me? & then she stopped & said I didn't have to answer that because she was going to do it anyway. ~BA

02-04-2008, 03:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
37iroks carpe diem Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: dirty jerz Posts: 80 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	whenever i'm a parent and have the same mindset i do now at 16 (which i doubt i will, but deep down i know i will.) i wouldnt be like here, or go get stoned or anything..i'd tell them to be smart, do well in school unless they want me to drug test randomly..and don't be telling your friends i know, bringing them here stoned, or getting caught..be as if we didn't know but if you ever have a problem to tell me about it..maybe one day if they were old enough and did smoke i'd burn with them, occassionally. i was together with a girl who smoked with her dad and brother at least once a week, it gets weird then because the mom doesn't know her daughter or brother smoke. it gets complicated but that is how i would go about it, or so i hope i will. i don't know if i made myself sound like an idiot or understanding, flame me if you like!

02-04-2008, 04:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
Soakedloopie ~~ Girly Girl ~~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Lost In The Details Posts: 3,556 Thanks: 2 Thanked 106 Times in 48 Posts	^ Thank you. I was hoping that I would get some good objective feedback from the kids on how they would like to be dealt with by their parents when it comes to this issue. I appreciate your input. __________________ If I love you with all my heart, she said, what will you give me? & then she stopped & said I didn't have to answer that because she was going to do it anyway. ~BA

02-04-2008, 05:00 PM	#12 (permalink)
37iroks carpe diem Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: dirty jerz Posts: 80 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	no problem, glad you understand what i was talking about..i mean i was in my friends shed (its a lot cooler then you think, couches, electricity, heaters, tv, microwaves, etc.) and we were smoking a bong and his mom came in and got into the rotation...that is when you know something is a little wrong..

02-10-2008, 06:09 PM	#13 (permalink)
HCL Hardcore Legend Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Beaverton Posts: 189 Thanks: 13 Thanked 23 Times in 20 Posts	Being a teenager that smokes weed, I should help some. I am currently a Junior in high school, but my Freshman + Sophomore I totally screwed off. I tried weed within the first few months of my Sophomore year. Mind you, my Dad + Stepmom both smoke cigarettes and weed. But when I began smoking, I never had the feeling that "Eh, I'm not going to do anything today in class", and I never felt like it took away from my motivation. And I'm not a bad kid at all and actually did try in school, but could never get the right balance. But one day, my dad asked if I had smoked weed before, and I said I had tried it but didn't do it because of the price. The next day he asked me again, and I ended up telling him the truth. I left to go smoke of all things, and came back to my Dad with a bowl loaded for me. After we smoked, he told me the ground rules. He said my grades HAD to stay up past a 2.0. That report card (which was the last of the year) came and all my classes were C's. My most recent report card (the first one since) was a 3.2, my highest ever. In my opinion, I think when they get to around 15 years old, you should give them a talk and let them decide if they want to smoke or not. But make sure you set ground rules, like good grades and make sure they're safe about it (know somene reliable who won't lace/rip them off, know when it's appropriate to smoke and when it's not, where/where not to smoke, etc). I think the biggest thing is not getting mad. I never told my dad because I thought he would get mad. But when I realized he trusted me with a responsibility to do it, a lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders.

02-10-2008, 07:00 PM	#14 (permalink)
Sir Psycho Sexy YaHookan Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 10 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Hey I'm 16 and my mom's been pretty much a daily pot smoker since before I was born, so i thought i'd throw in my two cents. I just wanna start out by saying that if the issue ever arises that your children ask if you smoke pot, i think the best way to handle it would be to be straight with them. In my experience, when i asked my mom about her little vice(after finding a big bag of herb with a pretty pungent odour) she flat out lied, probably out of nervousness, but never the less it was pretty damaging at that age(10) to both find something like that out, then have your mother lie to your face. It was those kinds of things that got me into pot. I figured, if she's going to lie and smoke pot, why should I do any different? So after staking out for awhile I began to find her little stashes and helping myself to a gram here and there, all because she couldn't find the courage to be honest with her kid. And about a general perspective on usage, I'd go with Old man's advice and make them aware of the dangers, but let them in on the benefits you personally revieve from sparking. If at some point they start smoking...noticibily enough for you to catch them, try and set up some ground rules like, if you don't smoke at school you can be high in the house on weekends(pending variables like homework and other commitments) not only does this establish a mutual respect, but it lets you keep an eye on them to make sure it doesn't lead to something like sex. ...and thats about all i have to say on that issue, cheers and good luck __________________ Familiarity Breeds Contempt

02-13-2008, 08:47 PM	#15 (permalink)
Hawk Eye Yahooka admin Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 15,119 Thanks: 16 Thanked 99 Times in 72 Posts	Been there done that twice with teens. I learned a long time ago that your kids need to know they can talk to you about anything with out being yelled at or be littled.. What i did was set my kids down and told them that MJ was not a bad drug as some people might lead them to believe. Then i described to them that there is a difference between using drugs/alcohol as a get-a-way instead of moderation to help in life.. I described the medical benefits, as well as the dangers.. I explained to them how the laws for drugs/alcohol not only damage their lives (if caught) but also the lives of parents or guardians.. I also give examples of people that have had their lives ruined by MJ/Alcohol and give them examples of people who have had their lives changed for the better for their use.. After all the discussion and answering questions, I laid down the law of this house... There is never to be any usage or possession of any drug/alcohol in my house other than my own.. They are not allowed to touch any of my stuff till they are over the age of 18.. If they do any thing, they have to do it some where else.. I give them all the reasons as to why they can never do this in my home, as in the legal matters that would drag me into courts, loosing the house and property as well as lead the law to finding my stuff and the bullshit that would cause.. I also told them that they will never be able to drive any of my vehicles if i knew of them doing drugs/drinking.. I can't afford to loose my insurance, and vehicles due to their decisions after the conversations about this.. I told them they could do what ever they wanted when they were of legal age as long as i was not brought down by their decision. My oldest did experiment with MJ and alcohol before he was 18, but never did it here or get on the road while under the influence. How ever after he turned 18 and moved out, he has also used my advice to stay away from the public when intoxicated. He also makes sure that he is around people he knows he can trust when using MJ.. Never takes a chance of the wrong person finding out he smokes MJ.. My 16 year old and i have had this talk back when he was 14.. He knows the rules and knows i don't approve of any use.. To this day, he has never even experimented with anything.. Make sure you keep the trust and honesty open with your kids.. They will talk to you openly if you show concern but do not scorn.. Only if they abuse or do things that will harm them should you make strict rules and so forth... When you can communicate with your kids openly, can you know what they are doing and know they are hearing what you say.... I would also let the teen know what would happen if the wrong people found out what you were doing as well.. Most times the kids don't want their parents to end up in trouble.. Good luck with your situation.. __________________ If you want a drugfree country, then you must legalise. ~~BH~~

02-14-2008, 01:30 PM	#19 (permalink)
37iroks carpe diem Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: dirty jerz Posts: 80 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	lol i never met a heterosexual 16 yr old male who didn't want to get his dick wet.