Help me See A to B Please!

[Smaerd]

I have come to find that I don't give a fucking shit about anything. I have no goals, I find no bearing in life.

Everything people act on is out of greed; whether it's to talk to you to climb a social ladder, to "own" you in a relationship as a trophy, to hopefully let you play a part of their fantasies, working out, going to work/getting a job, going to school, planning to pursue happiness or sadness and emotional vindications. People only cry or get mad out of greed(think about that).

And everything else is in avoidance of greed; drug use, lies, television, masterbation, etc. Which is also another term of greed,

Everything we create is based on greed or the lack of. I used to be pretty greedy, but as of late, I have been trying to find my spot in the hierarchy of life and the only placement I can find is that dude who just disappears for others to realize they need to pursue their greed further to not turn into me.

I'm not writing some bullshit suicide note on yahooka, but I wouldn't be surprised if my heart just decided to stop on it's own tonight. I feel nothing anymore, I'm not happy or sad I just can't find any purpose or vindication.

What do you live for that isn't greedy, or an avoidance of greed? Is this why dogs run in fucking circles and forget things every three seconds.


See humans see A. and B. of everything Bad and Good. Depending on your disposition the lengths of the segments holding A. or B. to midpoint 1. are either longer or shorter.

When all I see is fucking 1. A mid-point.

I am now understanding why I did drugs in the first place. And here I am bone sober eating every inch of nothing I hid from myself for these past 7-9 years.

Why do you all see A & B? What makes you decide whats good and bad: what you want, and what you don't: what you have and what you don't? Please I need some pointers. This can't be some mental condition, I think it's the abuse of aquiring an unbiased perception.

I've never finished a single thing in my life except high-school. Everything I start I see the end of it and can't will myself to finish it, because what's the point I know how it all ends, you know?

[Smaerd]

That was fucked up. Talk about M-PMS, Yeah I figured out what I want. This thread can be deleted.

[v3d4]

do you really want to delete this?

Originally Posted by Smaerd

I'm not writing some bullshit suicide note on yahooka, but I wouldn't be surprised if my heart just decided to stop on it's own tonight. I feel nothing anymore, I'm not happy or sad I just can't find any purpose or vindication.

What do you live for that isn't greedy, or an avoidance of greed? Is this why dogs run in fucking circles and forget things every three seconds.

how would you answer this to someone else who may be feeling/asking this same thing?

[catsgotmy]

Smaerd,gotta know. What did you actually want ?

[Smaerd]

Be greedy or else your an animal and you will be used/treated as one. No one can be a innocent, and those that are get killed, Ghandi, M.L.K., Animals, etc. It's sick but it's sadly what we live in otherwise you will be treated like me, "The toy in the toy box. Great when it's new even braggable to obtain/know. Then it get's old and it gets shoved away for a rainy day"

I want a lot of land in a liberal area(not to own but to share), a house that I built myself by hand, not to pay taxes to anything, to grow my own food, and be in good company of like minded people. Then I would be most productive, and I would give away extra food, items I made etc. That's what I want my own piece of the peace sign.

What does everyone else want? making goals means a lot to ones survival apperantly. And I wanna hear other great aspirations.

I guess don't delete this thread. I'm just a real swoon of emotion sometimes and I know it can be over bearing. Sorry.

[superstoned1]

It is the way we are my friend. You're gonna have to realize that it is inevitable and move on with your life. Things will be this way until the end of time.

If anything you can feel proud that you're one of the few people in society that realize that the society we live in is brought forward by greed and nothing else. You're on a fast track to nihilism (if not already there)

From what I've read you feel that society has nothing to offer you because you see right through people's actions into their true intentions. Well as I see it you have two options. A. Continue living you're life this way and ultimately not see the point in living or B. Realize that it wont change and sell out to that society of greed and selfishness. Reading you're posts you sound a little like a less angry bill hicks without the dick jokes.

[drunken13astard]

Originally Posted by Smaerd

Be greedy or else your an animal and you will be used/treated as one. No one can be a innocent, and those that are get killed, Ghandi, M.L.K., Animals, etc. It's sick but it's sadly what we live in otherwise you will be treated like me, "The toy in the toy box. Great when it's new even braggable to obtain/know. Then it get's old and it gets shoved away for a rainy day"

I want a lot of land in a liberal area(not to own but to share), a house that I built myself by hand, not to pay taxes to anything, to grow my own food, and be in good company of like minded people. Then I would be most productive, and I would give away extra food, items I made etc. That's what I want my own piece of the peace sign.

What does everyone else want? making goals means a lot to ones survival apperantly. And I wanna hear other great aspirations.

I guess don't delete this thread. I'm just a real swoon of emotion sometimes and I know it can be over bearing. Sorry.

See but that's how great life really is. You get to choose how your life plays out. You can worry about the greedy people all day long, but at the end of the day theres always going to be greed. Don't invest too much time in it.

[Patrick Rue]

Originally Posted by Smaerd

I have come to find that I don't give a fucking shit about anything. I have no goals, I find no bearing in life.

Everything people act on is out of greed; whether it's to talk to you to climb a social ladder, to "own" you in a relationship as a trophy, to hopefully let you play a part of their fantasies, working out, going to work/getting a job, going to school, planning to pursue happiness or sadness and emotional vindications. People only cry or get mad out of greed(think about that).

And everything else is in avoidance of greed; drug use, lies, television, masterbation, etc. Which is also another term of greed,

Everything we create is based on greed or the lack of. I used to be pretty greedy, but as of late, I have been trying to find my spot in the hierarchy of life and the only placement I can find is that dude who just disappears for others to realize they need to pursue their greed further to not turn into me.

I'm not writing some bullshit suicide note on yahooka, but I wouldn't be surprised if my heart just decided to stop on it's own tonight. I feel nothing anymore, I'm not happy or sad I just can't find any purpose or vindication.

What do you live for that isn't greedy, or an avoidance of greed? Is this why dogs run in fucking circles and forget things every three seconds.


See humans see A. and B. of everything Bad and Good. Depending on your disposition the lengths of the segments holding A. or B. to midpoint 1. are either longer or shorter.

When all I see is fucking 1. A mid-point.

I am now understanding why I did drugs in the first place. And here I am bone sober eating every inch of nothing I hid from myself for these past 7-9 years.

Why do you all see A & B? What makes you decide whats good and bad: what you want, and what you don't: what you have and what you don't? Please I need some pointers. This can't be some mental condition, I think it's the abuse of aquiring an unbiased perception.

I've never finished a single thing in my life except high-school. Everything I start I see the end of it and can't will myself to finish it, because what's the point I know how it all ends, you know?

Why give a shit about anything?

You could walk outside and get hit with a rock from space and die.

The only shit that really matters is yourself and whatevers going on around you, cause everything else is bullshit.

about not finishing shit... youre just scared. Im the same way, scared of success and responsibilities moreso than failure.

[turmaline]

Maybe try to make others happy.

Do something good for others who are in need, how could there be anything but good in that?

You want a purpose?

Do something for someone else, there are alot of people who need people out there.

Try not to think so much.