What if Jesus appeared in this lifetime?

marauder · 05-08-2008, 12:52 PM

wouldn't that be crazy!?..I bet people would just think he was a crazy homeless man. but seriously what if a man claimed to be Jesus Christ and actually proved it by turning water into blood or something. I wonder what would happen..

Praise Jah · 05-08-2008, 01:09 PM

I'd be happy as well

№1 · 05-08-2008, 01:30 PM

Come to Los Angeles, you can't throw a rock without hitting a Jesus...

Or a Juan or a Lupe or a Rogelio...

Jesus aint coming back, if he hasn't already, no one would believe him anyway. All that talk in the bible about the second coming and the kingdom of heaven and all that, its just something people use a crutch to get through life. Something to look forward to at the end instead of the dirt nap. Keep hope alive that if you're a good person now, you'll get the goodies at the end.

Too bad no one has ever come back to let us know, the salesmen they have now aren't too convincing anymore.

generic_hippie · 05-08-2008, 01:39 PM

thats one way to look at it №1.

I prefer to think that there's no way Jesus would come back to this shit-hole.

Fuck, it's only been 2000 or so years, do you really think that's enough time to forget how we treated the poor bastard the first time he visited?

verklingen · 05-08-2008, 01:40 PM

we've got to fix this mess ourselves.

generic_hippie · 05-08-2008, 01:45 PM

People would do well to make the distinction between the legitimate and ultimately hippie teaching of Christ, and the control mechanism of "Christianity", a doctrine based loosely on bastardized intepretations of those teachings.

Xil · 05-08-2008, 02:38 PM

If jesus comes back i am going to kidnap him, lock him in my basement, and start my own wine company.

**v3d4** · 05-08-2008, 02:48 PM

if you dont know Jesus is coming back then you dont know Jesus

and when He come back on that day of glory, woe unto the DEA agents and the downpressor man and the evil doers

and many people will run up to Him saying "Lord, Lord, we did many great things in Your Name!" and Jesus will say, " I don't know you. Depart from Me, you workers of iniquity!"

Swisha · 05-08-2008, 03:51 PM

I honestly think that jesus is gonna come back just not in this lifetime.

Xil · 05-08-2008, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by v3d4

if you dont know Jesus is coming back then you dont know Jesus

and when He come back on that day of glory, woe unto the DEA agents and the downpressor man and the evil doers

and many people will run up to Him saying "Lord, Lord, we did many great things in Your Name!" and Jesus will say, " I don't know you. Depart from Me, you workers of iniquity!"

Is that quoting something. I recall hearing something worded something like that. could have been nietzsche, not sure.

Waves · 05-08-2008, 04:08 PM

jesus would be right pissed, thats for sure

The Rev · 05-08-2008, 04:24 PM

One thing's for certain, if He does come back, he's going to be able to get more pussy than any man who has lived before. Especially Jewish chicks. They are totally attracted to men with money and/or power, or those with powerful families.

If I was going to be the Son of God, I would do it for the poon tang.

The Rev

Ziggy Fry · 05-08-2008, 06:13 PM

As an atheist, if jesus came back, I would be fucked.

But then, a god of mercy and understanding should understand my disbelief.

Sin.Ziggy.

№1 · 05-08-2008, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ziggy Fry

As an atheist, if jesus came back, I would be fucked.

But then, a god of mercy and understanding should understand my disbelief.

Sin.Ziggy.

That is the agnostics out, you're not sure what it is you don't believe in but on the off chance you're wrong, you really hope the big guy has a heart and forgives your arrogance and ignorance.

In the words of a great prophet however, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints any day.

Ziggy Fry · 05-08-2008, 06:58 PM

I was raised in a super Christian family. I still have to live with the occasional "holy crap...what if I'm wrong and I have to burn for eternity?" thought. Thanks mom and dad.

I suppose I switch between agnostic and atheist every once in a while. I just don't like the idea of being agnostic because it makes me think of a half assed atheist.

Sin.Ziggy.

Parallax · 05-08-2008, 08:30 PM

hes gonna freak out once he sees all these people wearing crosses chasing him.

but seriously, jesus, if he really existed, was just a really cool dude that lived a long time ago, but he isnt the son of god, or even special in anyway. hes not coming back, ever.

espiex · 05-08-2008, 10:27 PM

Jesus has already returned, this time in the form of Richard Dawkins. He's just fucking with all the fundies because it amuses Him.

kamikazi89 · 05-09-2008, 06:17 AM

they'd be the second most searched query on google, porn would still reign supreme

..and you're all forgetting the fact that there was no islam first time around..

and chariots of fire (moving pictures) lol

NO RUSH

matthewmunari · 05-11-2008, 01:22 PM

[quote=№1;51579814]Come to Los Angeles, you can't throw a rock without hitting a Jesus...

Or a Juan or a Lupe or a Rogelio...

hahahahahahahahahaha haeahaahahaahahaahah aha

05-08-2008, 12:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
marauder YaHookan Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 39 Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts	What if Jesus appeared in this lifetime? wouldn't that be crazy!?..I bet people would just think he was a crazy homeless man. but seriously what if a man claimed to be Jesus Christ and actually proved it by turning water into blood or something. I wonder what would happen..

05-08-2008, 01:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
№1 Better than you. Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: out there Posts: 8,767 Thanks: 14 Thanked 57 Times in 46 Posts	Come to Los Angeles, you can't throw a rock without hitting a Jesus... Or a Juan or a Lupe or a Rogelio... Jesus aint coming back, if he hasn't already, no one would believe him anyway. All that talk in the bible about the second coming and the kingdom of heaven and all that, its just something people use a crutch to get through life. Something to look forward to at the end instead of the dirt nap. Keep hope alive that if you're a good person now, you'll get the goodies at the end. Too bad no one has ever come back to let us know, the salesmen they have now aren't too convincing anymore. __________________ "No, improvising is wonderful. But, the thing is that you cannot improvise unless you know exactly what you're doing. " Christopher Walken --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- Hell

05-08-2008, 01:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
generic_hippie question authority Join Date: May 2003 Location: 20 km's from Nimbin, Australia Posts: 4,600 Thanks: 58 Thanked 172 Times in 123 Posts	thats one way to look at it №1. I prefer to think that there's no way Jesus would come back to this shit-hole. Fuck, it's only been 2000 or so years, do you really think that's enough time to forget how we treated the poor bastard the first time he visited? __________________ All we are saying is give POT to everybody all the time...

05-08-2008, 01:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
generic_hippie question authority Join Date: May 2003 Location: 20 km's from Nimbin, Australia Posts: 4,600 Thanks: 58 Thanked 172 Times in 123 Posts	People would do well to make the distinction between the legitimate and ultimately hippie teaching of Christ, and the control mechanism of "Christianity", a doctrine based loosely on bastardized intepretations of those teachings. __________________ All we are saying is give POT to everybody all the time...

05-08-2008, 02:38 PM	#7 (permalink)
Xil Addicted To Yahooka Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,007 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 28 Thanked 47 Times in 33 Posts	If jesus comes back i am going to kidnap him, lock him in my basement, and start my own wine company. __________________ 'Could this be possible! This old holy man in his forest has heard nothing of this yet, that God is dead' {187DEA} <object width="102" height="59"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/ZrGO-1QlXdp1X0WzmbLTVw"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/ZrGO-1QlXdp1X0WzmbLTVw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="102" height="59"></embed></object>

05-08-2008, 01:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
Praise Jah YaHookan Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 185 Thanks: 3 Thanked 21 Times in 14 Posts	I'd be happy as well

05-08-2008, 02:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
v3d4 sky mind daughter Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Lartajuna Posts: 5,559 Thanks: 27 Thanked 120 Times in 64 Posts	if you dont know Jesus is coming back then you dont know Jesus and when He come back on that day of glory, woe unto the DEA agents and the downpressor man and the evil doers and many people will run up to Him saying "Lord, Lord, we did many great things in Your Name!" and Jesus will say, " I don't know you. Depart from Me, you workers of iniquity!" __________________ remember our Governor Ken Gorman

05-08-2008, 03:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
Swisha YaHookan Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Milwaukee Wisconsin Posts: 110 Thanks: 1 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	I honestly think that jesus is gonna come back just not in this lifetime.

05-08-2008, 04:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
Waves YaHookan Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,471 Thanks: 33 Thanked 152 Times in 102 Posts	jesus would be right pissed, thats for sure __________________ same as it ever was....same as it ever was...

05-08-2008, 04:24 PM	#12 (permalink)
The Rev ~ Herban Legend ~ Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 11,662 Thanks: 5 Thanked 85 Times in 46 Posts	One thing's for certain, if He does come back, he's going to be able to get more pussy than any man who has lived before. Especially Jewish chicks. They are totally attracted to men with money and/or power, or those with powerful families. If I was going to be the Son of God, I would do it for the poon tang. The Rev __________________ THE SECRET OF SUCCESS IN ALL THINGS IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH REALITY DISRESPECT INCORPORATED The Order of the Illuminati "I'd drag my balls over a mountain of glass just to hear her fart into a walkie talkie..." -Kishar R.I.P. Governor We know you're smokin wherever you are.

05-08-2008, 06:13 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ziggy Fry This is not a pipe. Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 211 Thanks: 35 Thanked 22 Times in 19 Posts	As an atheist, if jesus came back, I would be fucked. But then, a god of mercy and understanding should understand my disbelief. Sin.Ziggy.

05-08-2008, 06:58 PM	#15 (permalink)
Ziggy Fry This is not a pipe. Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 211 Thanks: 35 Thanked 22 Times in 19 Posts	I was raised in a super Christian family. I still have to live with the occasional "holy crap...what if I'm wrong and I have to burn for eternity?" thought. Thanks mom and dad. I suppose I switch between agnostic and atheist every once in a while. I just don't like the idea of being agnostic because it makes me think of a half assed atheist. Sin.Ziggy. Last edited by Ziggy Fry; 05-08-2008 at 07:04 PM.

05-08-2008, 08:30 PM	#16 (permalink)
Parallax Admiral Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,519 Thanks: 22 Thanked 83 Times in 24 Posts	hes gonna freak out once he sees all these people wearing crosses chasing him. but seriously, jesus, if he really existed, was just a really cool dude that lived a long time ago, but he isnt the son of god, or even special in anyway. hes not coming back, ever. __________________ FUCK THE ROBOTS!!! NUKE THE WHALES!!! Last edited by Parallax; 05-08-2008 at 08:34 PM.

05-08-2008, 10:27 PM	#17 (permalink)
espiex Beaming live from orbit Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Over the hills and far away Posts: 1,017 Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Jesus has already returned, this time in the form of Richard Dawkins. He's just fucking with all the fundies because it amuses Him. __________________ -=\|=-