Pay it forward?

[slapstick]

I'm not usually on par for this board, but I've been thinking lately.
I do everything I can to help people in their lives, but I feel guilty when somebody goes out of their way to help me. selfish.
does anyone else ever feel this way? I prefer the "pay it forward" method. y'know, I help you, you help three other people, we help the world by the time we're done.
I won't get into discussion of karma here, unless thats your bag.

tl;dr: do you pay it forward?

[shelbert008]

No not really, in all honesty, I can be quite selfish a lot. I'm concerned about my own well being, and I know the rest of the world isn't looking out for me, so I have to do it myself. But I do like to help others, I don't like being completely consumed with my life, since there are so many other lives out there, mine is just as meaningless as the next one. I don't really like people to go out of their way to help me, nor do I go completely out of my way to help someone else. If I can help someone while I'm going along my path, then of course I would love to help them, but it's nothing I'm really going to go out looking for.

[SageTree]

You know its my Bag!

A metaphore for this is a stone being thrown into a pond and sending ripples all the way across the pond. And the hope is that there are more ripples to meet with and form bigger waves.

Paying it forward is a great idea and I think that you give what you get outa life. So start being that good thing, no? I have had alot of good experiances in my life that have brought great things to me on a grand and daily level, from doing small things. I don't knowingly expect these things to come back, but they do never the less. The only instance I can think of in story is when I work really hard at a job and someone who works there offers me side work, or a good reference for a another job. Or maybe just being kind to that person who is checking your groceries. You actions could make the response to the next customer even better for that customer, not to mention the direct impact on the cashier.

I do not however feel guilty or bad when someone does something for me, unless they are trying to pay me, I really don't prefer to take money. But here is a story. I was reading a Depak Chopra book, don't remember which one, and it talked about being open to recieving....interes ting concept.... his reasoning is that people have their own debt or karma to work off, or in this case a chance to pay it forward. His suggestion was to allow people the freedom to better themselves because it might be the only day they try, so be open to generosity....health y generoisty, where strings are attached in a manipulative way, even then I think it okay to help, I can't help it that they expect more or something in return for me helping....weird situation comes to mind.....ANYWAYS.... I have just read this Depak advice on being open to recieving. FLASH INTO A WEEK LATER>>>>>
I'm finishing up someone's yard and we all pack up the truck, when this older lady flags us down...."Hi there, what's up?"
"Do you think you have the time to help my husband and I move something?"
" Yea sure " So I put on the brake and shut off the truck... All she wants me to do is move a bag of sand and the umberalla base to her porch 15ft away. I snag it from the trunk and finish up easily and am on my way. I say have a good day and what not, take care, ect..... She hands me $10!
" Oh no I couldn't , I didn't help you to get anything, it's my pleasure."
" Please take this "
"Oh man, I really don't feel right about it, my boss is paying me right now actully, he needs to lighten up and give alittle charity, don't worry about it. "
" This is how I can give and I couldn't have done this without you, Please be open to my giving"

Holy crow! she said it. The same thing I had read and was just talking about with the girls I worked with. " Well when you put it that way, I'd be happy to oblige "

She was really happy I took it.
"Buy you all some drinks on me, get those girls some lemonade"
"That sounds like a fine idea" I said. " Have a great day, we're just down the street on Fridays if you need anything, you're covered for a while now okay?"

Well she never came by for anything, and I bought the ladies coffee one morning it was cold and rainly last July, so it was passed.

I just thought that was a really neat story about how that theme came up right after I had pondered it for a while. Neat-o.

I guess the moral to that is, don't feel bad man. You might have it coming, but as long as you are always giving and not expecting return, I think it's safe to walk through that held door brother. Getting into that positive track keeps you in that loop easier and longer. Good for you for helping and considering something I'm sure many many haven't or wouldn't consider without expectation.

There is a movie called Pass it Forward.....pretty decent story.

Thanks for sharing brother man.

Keep the love light shining.

Sager 4.0

[SageTree]

I don't like being completely consumed with my life, since there are so many other lives out there, mine is just as meaningless as the next one.

Is there ever a time you felt meaning?

It hurts me to ponder that anyone sees themselves as meaningless, but its okay, you're obviously allowed, but to me that sounds harsh.

What if we all just look boring' because we are all equally meaningful?

Even choosing not to do nothing is better than choosing to harm someone and that has meaning to people you don't know, I'm sure.

Every day we don't choose to become an axe wielding maniac......hehe, well that's' an extreme example I guess


Loving Kindness,
SageTree xxoo

[my_scatterheart]

It's completely detrimental and pathetic, but I feel hella guilty if there's an opportunity to do good (within reason) and pass it up. It's not necessarily paying it forward, but I help when I can, whatever it may be.

[SageTree]

This is from the book 7 Spiritual Laws of Yoga, a really good book that really helped me focus on one spiritual goal each day. All the 'Laws' are there in the link box after this one plays out. They all build on each other alittle bit, as does the paths of Yoga.

love
Sage

[420smokeman]

deepak chopera is amazing

[slapstick]

I can agree with scatter on this one. but I feel guilty even if it wasn't reasonable.
the other night I was partying with a few friends, had sobered up, and was heading home.
when I was driving, I passed this chick and noticed that her outfit was divine (so I'm sorta gay) and wondered where she was walking.
about thirty seconds later, I realized that it was almost two in the morning, and I should have offered her a ride. she could get hurt, or worse.
I still feel like shit over that.

[The Rev]

We do "pay it forward" every day with negativity. It seems only right to try to balance that out.



The Rev

[FineazPR]

Yes I do...at least I try to, in all things I do. I think its the best way to do. No I can't pay eveybody's way but I always keep spare change in my car for the peeps asking for it at red lights and such. And I send the Humane Soc. ten dollars every month. and I volunteer at my kids school, as often as possible. And I bake the best banana bread as gifts during the holidays for the mailperson, schoolbusdriver, and sometimes for a neighbor or two. Kindness is so my style. Is this something like what you talkin' 'bout?

[slapstick]

thats exactly what I'm talking about.
I'm glad to see the hookah has kindness in it's heart. and people who make good banananana bread in it's ranks.
its important, don'tcha know.

[SageTree]

SurfTheChannel - Pay It Foward

It will let you watch it for 75 mins and then tell you that you will have to wait 54mins to restart. Well hit it again and it makes it 30. So toke up and then come back to in in a while.

Enjoy.

[slapstick]

I saw that movie in my chemistry class, of all places.
and speaking of toking up, I quit because the job I'm getting frequently tests. its worth it to me though.

[SageTree]

Man that is a strange place to see that movie.

Good luck with the unjob

Sage