Ommmmm

[SweetSativa]

I probably shouldn't apologize before I begin but I don't know what this is... it's my way of connecting to an issue tonight... so maybe someone else will get something from it... or maybe not


Ommmmmm.... I'mmmmmmm
letting go of this insecurity
I'mmmmmm
learning from my mistakes and
I'mmmmmmm
letting go

I got exactly what I asked for
but certainly not what I wanted

I'mmmmmmm
letting go of YOUR insecurity
I can't walk on eggshells

I wanted you to be honest
and now it's my turn

[Prophet Saddam]

Thanks!

[Pharm Girl]

~Futile~

[SweetSativa]

^Pharm Girl... I was having such an 'issue' with this last night... and writing often helps. I still couldn't sleep so I asked Wahuhi (guide) to help clarify the situation through my dreams. You should appreciate this . A woman at work had expressed that I was interrupting when she was dealing with the boys and wasn't giving her a chance. Of course I acknowledged her feelings, apologized (not sure I should have done that though), and thanked her for letting me know how she felt. However, when I got home this was eating me up and I couldn't sleep. There were allot of thoughts in my head... trying not to belittle her and to acknowledge her feelings while also not really accepting her interpretation as reality/ actuality. I can't get into the whole thing... confidentiality and what-not but my experience and education... and events from the night before that she was unaware of gave me insight into the situation and it was honestly my obligation to 'butt in' but she interpreted it as my 'taking over' when in actuality, the plan was to work together with her. So anyway I talked to Wahuhi and this dream happened:

There was a cow outside of our window (I think my husband was with me and watching all this with me although he was just 'there'). She was with calf and she was shedding her skin (which apparently was a normal thing for cows to do in my dream...lol). We were worried that she was shedding too early, she was crying and in tremendous pain... very disturbing. We knew that this shed would also lead to the birth of her calf which we also thought would be too early and were worried it would not survive. There was finally an emergence... but it was only a set of legs (2 legs) and no 'body' of the calf... only legs, no head or anything. Then she was 'angry' (?) or very upset and broke through our window. She went to a nursery in the back room (that isn't really there) and looked into the crib. There was then a sense of closure... a 'rest'. When I woke up, I was thinking "All she wanted was to look in the nursery" but these weren't really 'my own' thoughts.

So here's the symbolism that I looked up:

Cow: motherhood- strong and sturdy- when cow shows you should pay attention, observe, and then respond accordingly ALSO: altruism, love, family values, and lunar magic- devotion of motherhood.
Calf: immaturity and inexperience- need to develop certain qualities
Legs: balance- stand up for self (also symbolic of newborn legs... and only two which is human-like... and they were running around)

Interpretation: While looking up the symbolism I realized that the co-worker had told me in the past that she had gone through menopause early and her periods had ended with the birth of her last child.... this was clearly demonstrated by the early shedding of skin and while 'with calf'. I think the birth of the legs was for me because my issue is learning how to stand up for myself. I am developing it... they are 'newborn legs'. Her looking into the crib and finding closure is probably dealing with her... and her insecurity with me at work is probably related to parenting issues (which is closely tied to our line of work and takes skill for a female... and sometimes male... to separate the two). Pretty insightful...

so now I've heard first from Wahuhi, then hawk, tiger, goose, and now cow

(I think I'll start a thread with this also in Spiritual Smoke )

[Pharm Girl]

Was there an apology from the co-worker??
I suspect not.

One might also suggest that your legs are strong and can stand on their own. They may even need to take a road-trip....../(Muskogee) Being from a Pharm, we've seen when we seperate the mother cow from her young that she will look for her young. She may even break throught the fence in search of her off-spring but she quickly forgets within 72 hours............By then her initial milk that is loaded with life-giving hormones starts to diminish. Cows are in a way, quite clumsy and do not tread all that carefully. I have to agree that there's insecurity written all over the co-worker!