poem

**30_Units** · 09-04-2008, 03:50 PM

take it away, wash it away
make do, with all the pain today
pills tomorrow,
drown the sorrow,
who cares about a little emotional decay?
too many times
too many lines
the forgetting never seems to end
don't bother with the climb,
of hope that inevitably finds,
with me blacked out on the ground again

funny how creativity comes at times like these.

blehk.

another;

descriptions defy
the relations 'tween you and I
hurtful incredibly
longing steadily
it's hard to even try
but the moments that seem best
are the one's when we're both at rest
me not putting on my good-boy mask
and you not necessitating the need to ask
for you've stated me weak and undependable
for actions I know undefendable
but in the grander scheme i know need not matter
flaws in me you can't cease to find
for many years they've hidden and plied
and made me self abuse, cut, and batter
i can't help but curse and and relent
for the skies open'd up and rain down regret
anything I could do to mend what's now lost
I wouldn't hesitate at any cost

Smaerd · 09-04-2008, 04:20 PM

I like the second one you posted most. It reminds me of how I write kind of. Keep it up dude, get all that awful stuff out of your head and somewhere on the interweb.

vanilla · 09-06-2008, 12:02 AM

to be perfectly honest man, it sounds a little cliche and been there done that
just one guys opinion, don't stop writing though

**30_Units** · 09-08-2008, 07:46 AM

yeah, totally though, it is.

Smaerd · 09-10-2008, 05:23 PM

Who gives a flying fuck about whats cliche? If your writing it it means something. So write and post. I think you got something going for you 30u.

And vanilla I'm not trying to be rude to you I'm just saying.

09-04-2008, 03:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
30_Units Heart'saBroken Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,763 Thanks: 27 Thanked 150 Times in 90 Posts	poem take it away, wash it away make do, with all the pain today pills tomorrow, drown the sorrow, who cares about a little emotional decay? too many times too many lines the forgetting never seems to end don't bother with the climb, of hope that inevitably finds, with me blacked out on the ground again funny how creativity comes at times like these. blehk. another; descriptions defy the relations 'tween you and I hurtful incredibly longing steadily it's hard to even try but the moments that seem best are the one's when we're both at rest me not putting on my good-boy mask and you not necessitating the need to ask for you've stated me weak and undependable for actions I know undefendable but in the grander scheme i know need not matter flaws in me you can't cease to find for many years they've hidden and plied and made me self abuse, cut, and batter i can't help but curse and and relent for the skies open'd up and rain down regret anything I could do to mend what's now lost I wouldn't hesitate at any cost __________________ "There is no man, however wise, who has not at some period of his youth said things, or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly, if he could, expunge it from his memory." -- Marcel Proust The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. --George Bernard Shaw Last edited by 30_Units; 09-04-2008 at 04:15 PM.

09-04-2008, 04:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Smaerd observations kill me Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Vagrant Status Posts: 2,049 Thanks: 259 Thanked 346 Times in 254 Posts	I like the second one you posted most. It reminds me of how I write kind of. Keep it up dude, get all that awful stuff out of your head and somewhere on the interweb. __________________ Peace, Love, Unity, Respect.

09-06-2008, 12:02 AM	#3 (permalink)
vanilla the cunning linguist Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: 514 Posts: 5,137 Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts	to be perfectly honest man, it sounds a little cliche and been there done that just one guys opinion, don't stop writing though __________________

09-08-2008, 07:46 AM	#4 (permalink)
30_Units Heart'saBroken Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,763 Thanks: 27 Thanked 150 Times in 90 Posts	yeah, totally though, it is. __________________ "There is no man, however wise, who has not at some period of his youth said things, or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly, if he could, expunge it from his memory." -- Marcel Proust The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. --George Bernard Shaw

09-10-2008, 05:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
Smaerd observations kill me Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Vagrant Status Posts: 2,049 Thanks: 259 Thanked 346 Times in 254 Posts	Who gives a flying fuck about whats cliche? If your writing it it means something. So write and post. I think you got something going for you 30u. And vanilla I'm not trying to be rude to you I'm just saying. __________________ Peace, Love, Unity, Respect.

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