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03-08-2009, 05:05 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: 514
Posts: 5,179
Thanks: 2
Thanked 37 Times in 27 Posts
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red
push me through the wire
let it fall down
and crumble
youre breath is
my life source
exhale and live
through me
how sweet this is
mortality
youre words touch upon
these impossible dreams
like childhood memories
dont let them go
hold them close
and truth...
truer eyes there haven't been
like mazes of purity
inhale
like the scent of beauty
exhale and breathe
life into me
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03-08-2009, 05:10 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: The States
Posts: 6,020
Thanks: 34
Thanked 190 Times in 110 Posts
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Conservatively abstract... A yearning for a woman's grace, I gather? I can dig it.
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03-08-2009, 05:13 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: 514
Posts: 5,179
Thanks: 2
Thanked 37 Times in 27 Posts
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thanks man
more like a memory of it though, heh 
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03-08-2009, 05:24 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Terra Sancta
Posts: 8,563
Thanks: 420
Thanked 600 Times in 377 Posts
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middle stanza was rly good, great work nil
__________________
do you have another opinion
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03-09-2009, 01:14 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: 514
Posts: 5,179
Thanks: 2
Thanked 37 Times in 27 Posts
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thanks for reading
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03-11-2009, 01:18 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: gulf islands bc
Posts: 2,667
Thanks: 122
Thanked 205 Times in 142 Posts
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good shit, i really liked it
__________________
RIP Gov 
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04-06-2009, 03:13 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10
Thanks: 1
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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You had me at the second stanza Vanilla, I really loved the third one too! Did you ever give her the poem?
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04-06-2009, 10:26 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: 514
Posts: 5,179
Thanks: 2
Thanked 37 Times in 27 Posts
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holy irony, just showed her 2 seconds ago...
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