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Old 07-09-2003, 03:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Post Pick a name for Jesus

Jesus has been going through a bit of an identity crisis lately. He's been trying on alot of new names, but just can't find one that he likes. So, I'm starting this thread to give him suggestions.

Please, no lame-ass shit like "Butt Crack" or something like that; let's make these legit attempts at giving Jesus a name he's not only proud of, but loves with all his heart.

I like:

1) Jesus is Lord
2) Jesus of the 14 inch crank
3) Jesucristo
4) Jesus H. Cannabis
5) Jeez

Anybody have any other goodies?



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Old 07-09-2003, 03:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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i kinda dig the DONGLE
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Old 07-09-2003, 04:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
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[quote]Originally posted by jesus bought a bluetooth DONGLE:
<strong>i kinda dig the DONGLE</strong><hr></blockquote>

My dongle is special to me too.



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Old 07-09-2003, 04:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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i like 4) Jesus H. Cannabis
except that its kinda disrespectful, but thats why it fits. and its pretty funny. it could get shortened to JHC or just JC and i think thats pretty kewl.

i was also thinking Hey Zeus!
and whn people are talking to you theyll type HZ and thats pretty good. not as good as JHC imo
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Old 07-09-2003, 04:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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i think Jesus is a good name fat Jesus need's to be the one to chang his name and Jesus stay's as Jesus
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Old 07-10-2003, 09:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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"Jay"
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Old 07-10-2003, 09:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Jeez
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And Shepherds we shall be

For thee, my Lord, for thee.

Power hath descended forth from Thy hand

Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.

So we shall flow a river forth to Thee

And teeming with souls shall it ever be.

In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.
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Old 07-11-2003, 11:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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how bout Gumby
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Old 07-12-2003, 12:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Jesus Of The Last Ark/Nark
I Own All
Kingdom Of Thy Jesus
Buddah Meditator/Darth Vader Driving A Blazer
G.O.D 666
Damien Madrocks
Ascroft Mcalister
Jerome Marshall
Jesus Eats Cereal
Son Of Lord/Corn
J.H.C
Jeeze H. Christ
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Old 07-12-2003, 11:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I Suck, Super is Great
My ass Stinks
ButtFuckingFlamer
RichardSimmonsPaysMe Well
ISmokeSausage


sorry im not too creative
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Old 07-12-2003, 01:42 PM   #11 (permalink)
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OU812


.............was an old fav of mine.


ZodiacKiller ,I think is nice.


Dingbat comes to mind.


TWOAH...........tota l waste of a human.


YoFaMi.............. .Your fathers mistake.
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Old 07-12-2003, 05:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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7524869320

Five bucks and the book it came from if you figure it out

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Old 07-13-2003, 12:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
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[quote]Originally posted by supermarket :
<strong>
RichardSimmonsPaysMe Well
</strong><hr></blockquote>

that's fucking great...
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the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete.
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Old 07-13-2003, 01:01 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Maybe Greg because of the sandles or Quazar just cuz of that beard..I dont know?
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Old 07-15-2003, 03:53 PM   #15 (permalink)
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thats pathetic bongobongo. but whatever jesus contributes alot more than many on this board do. one love. peace.
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Old 07-15-2003, 04:24 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I knew this thread would turn lame. It was supposed to be funny, not insulting. Or, at least funny AND insulting. But straight up insulting with no funny? Blah.



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Old 07-15-2003, 08:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Jesus christ likes cheese and rice. kind of a long name though
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Old 07-15-2003, 08:41 PM   #18 (permalink)
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[quote]Originally posted by bongobongo:
<strong>jesus is a fag who thinks hes better then everyone. what Im doing is giving him a hard shell to crawl in when he gets scared</strong><hr></blockquote>

i don't think i'm better than everyone... just most people... including you.
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you're all a bunch of fucks

Once I met this wino and he was eating some grapes and I said "dude, you have to wait".

I don't have a girlfriend. I just know this lady who'd be really mad if she heard me say that.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.

I got an ant farm. Them fellas don't grow shit.

I like the FedEx guy, 'cause he is a drug dealer and he don't even know it! And he is always on time.
- Mitch Hedberg

nipples?
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:00 PM   #19 (permalink)
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how about mohammed, jahweh, or allah.
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:32 PM   #20 (permalink)
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[quote] how about mohammed, jahweh, or allah. <hr></blockquote>

nah
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And Shepherds we shall be

For thee, my Lord, for thee.

Power hath descended forth from Thy hand

Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.

So we shall flow a river forth to Thee

And teeming with souls shall it ever be.

In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.
RIP to our friend and highly respected peer Ken Gorman
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