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Old 11-10-2006, 05:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I passed my drug test

Attention all my fellow stoners! I passed my urine drug test.
I don't have advice for anyone, but I will tell my story of how I passed my test.
First, I have been blazin it up for about 12 yrs or so. I don't think I ever went more than 7 or 8 days without some puffs(even through college). I am a medium to heavy smoker puffin everyday but not all day long. I take care of my business during the day and get stoney at night. I had been browsing for jobs and I knew most likely I was going to encounter a pee test. Since I wasn't working (freedom), and had a nice bag of greenish/purpleish herb I didn't want to stop even though I knew I was going to be tested. So, here I was puffin away (5 bong bowls and least 1 blunt per day/night) online looking for jobs/careers. I went exactly 44 days on vacation (wink,wink).
Heavy bong hitting and blunt puffin. Finally, I went to a job fair in the evening time but didn't smoke before the fair. To make long story short, I interviewed with one of the many employers hoping they wouldn't require testing. I went back to puffin away and browsing for jobs/careers.
I recieved a call (Human Resources) from this employer that I met with at the fair and said I was eligible to fill out an application for employment. This was a finance/credit card/consulting company. Man, are they really strict on who they hire, background check/credit check and really high tech drug testing(hair sampling, blood testing). After an extensive online assesments and "get to know you quizes" I passed the candidate screening one day later. The Human Resources guy told me I had a new job, but all I had to do was pass a background check, another interview, and my druggie test. My new hire packet he told me would be sent out the next day and when I received it I had to complete the drug test within 48 hours or else they would rescind the offer. Well, umm lets see, I knew that If took the test I would fail-for sure.
So what did theblunted1 do? I told this guy that I was going to be working on a house 220 miles away from where I lived for about 8 days. So, he was going to send me the packet exactly 1 day before I returned home, just in time for me to recieve it and complete druggie test within 48 hours.
This gave me about 11 days (8days + 48hrs+1 day I spoke to HR).
So i stopped poofin the same day I spoke to HR. Immediately, I went online for help and started reading the blogs that people posted on websites about drug testing.
So, this is what I did. Many years ago my buddy at work told me that vinegar cleans your system and that if I wanted to pass a drug test that I should drink a bottle of regular vinegar before taking pee test. My friend passed his test many years before while he was out on probation(county jail) for drug related charges and he said he passed his test but that he also quit drugs for a couple weeks before taking urine test. He also said he threw up because of the strong odor of vinegar and because of his stomach turning , yet he still drank a bottle of vinegar and obviously this was what he peed out for the little cup.
I went online to check on "vinegar". It turns out that vinegar is good for "cleaning" kidneys and stronger/better than cranberry juice which also does work but vinegar is better. Vinegar goes back hundreds of years and is good for your body. I went to the supermarket and bought two bottles of reqular vinegar. I took a swig straight from the bottle and it was really strong.
It felt like alcohol burning my inside, "kidneys" I think. So, I diluted it. Over a period of 7 days I drank about 15 ounces of diluted vinegar. All I did was add water and took "shots" of vinegar and water mixed. total 15 ounces .
I also worked out consistently for 8-9 days. Sweated alot to rid the toxins in my body and went into the steam room to "sweat it out". No weed for 11 days straight, a record I believe for theblunted1. I also discovered this amazing drink called "STRIP" natural cleanser 32 oz. bottle grape/fruit punch.
I seen this 32 oz. bottle at a smoke shop near where I live in Northern California. I didn't think it would work but the guy behind the counter said it did. duhhh! yeahh it would, ofcourse. At $40 dollars per bottle I bought 2 bottles. The day I bought them I drank one later that evening and it tasted like medicine but had a grape taste so wasn't so bad. It made me crap no more than 20 minutes after I drank it. Only, maybe 2-3 hours went by and I peed it out. A nice flourescent yellowish/slight slight greenish /clearer pee. I thought man, at $40 dollars a bottle it has to at least help me detox. During the 11 days I drank ALOT of water, some to alot of cranberry juice, 15 ounces of regular vinegar with water and alot of exercise/steam room. Also, healthy eating like more fruits and vegetables, salads with a little more vinegar, no foods that were high in sugar or sugar stuff. Since this career was really high paying and really really awesome I decided to buy an additional 2 bottles of "strip". I spent like $150 for 4 bottles at the same smoke shop....dude behind counter was about to hug me, while I was there I bought blunt papers and a flame thrower lighter....(cool). If I passed or failed I was going to be poofin away anyway. so here you go charge my credit card buddy.
I stopped puffin on a friday. the following tuesday i drank 1 bottle of "strip".
the following saturday i drank another. the following monday during the day I drank another #3. On tuesday, the next day, the day of all days, on the 11th day of my detox in the morning I drank a small cup of orange juice, another maybe 12 ounces of water and the last #4 bottle of "strip"32 oz. .. ....and after that another cup of water to wash down that grape taste. I had nothing to eat in the morning and took my test about 12 noon.
I had to wait 6 days to get the results (pain -suspense -equal to pain and waiting time --finding out if my girl was pregnant back in the days)---I finally passed.
If I would have given a diluted sample (too much water will give an inconclusive result-diluted sample-retake test but in a different form) the company would have required that I take a hair sample test which takes longer for the results to come in. I wouldn't have taken the hair-sample test.
It is an illegal search. When companies test anyone they feel you are guilty of drug use until you prove your innocence by peeing in a cup or hair sample and wow... even blood sample. those bastards. I passed my urine test and it took me 11 days of detox. This is my story- a true story. You can pass your test also. look up covert labs---and "strip" natural cleanser with psyllerol. I know the stuff works, otherwise I wouldn't have passed. ohhhh. and I forgot to mention that i messed with some coke( 2 grams )about 50 days prior to taking pee test. I'm not a heavy user or even a regular user but i did mess with it for a couple days. I weigh 190 lbs. 5'9" tall.
There is hope. To all my fellow stoners ....YOU CAN PASS!

Last edited by theblunted1; 11-10-2006 at 05:24 PM.
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Old 11-10-2006, 05:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I didn't read your post. I was gunna but too long. Congrats on passing though!
I think you fuckers are funny.
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Old 11-10-2006, 06:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I read it... Thanks... and congrats! Now time to celebrate
"Why is it that when people talk to God, we call it praying but when God talks to people, we call it crazy?"- Touched by an Angel
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Old 01-16-2007, 07:10 AM   #4 (permalink)
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long read but its helpful

and congrats on the job
are u back to pinen??
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Old 01-16-2007, 08:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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a little overboard eh?
Warning:This users signatures contain one or more chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm. Wash eyeballs after reading.

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No yahookans take this time to all go out and do shittastic shit missions to tell other yahookans about hung-over tommorow morning, while smoking a bong in our PJs and recovering together drinking water.
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Old 01-16-2007, 09:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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