Random... - Page 2451

Grieves · 03-17-2017, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatter-proof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo --

"Defrost the chicken!"

zoltron · 03-17-2017, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenderbender

Rip jacket

Im currently at a place in life where i have 0 items that im attached to really. Could lose everything in a fire, and... meh.

However that has more to do with me being a perpetually broke bum than all zen monk about it lol. It is something i try and cultivate regardless though. Not getting attached to material shit.

Pretty much my lifestyle 18-62. I never was big on material things.

When I moved from Denver to NC, I could literally fit all my possessions in a '63 Comet. By the time that jalopy got to NC, I had to shift from 1st to 3rd. 2nd gear was history. Main things in the car were my stereo, albums, clothes & a TV.

A joke I received in an e-mail from a pal out West...

MAINE LOBSTERS

A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Bar Harbor man answered his door to find two grim-faced Harbor Master officers.

"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife,".

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.

One officer said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news"!

Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."

The officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."

"Lord sufferin' Jesus!" exclaimed Flynn. What could possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued,
"When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic Maine Lobsters that you've ever seen clinging to her........Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 60's, and we feel you are entitled to a share of the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The officer replied,

"We're going to pull her up again tomorrow"

Grieves · 03-18-2017, 08:11 PM

Shaq sciences like he shoots free throws.

stoneric · 03-19-2017, 10:02 AM

Shaq did get his higher education in Louisiana. That's probably what the majority of that state believe.

Sir-Ex · 03-20-2017, 08:48 AM

School sucks!

I just got an email that Microsoft wants to contract me on for a whole year. But guess what? Can't do it cuz nuts stapled to university oooooohmmmmyyggawwww d

turmaline · 03-20-2017, 09:23 AM

So I don't get it.
Isn't going to school the whole purpose to get you the jobs that you want like with Microsoft?

Orr is there more?

You're already in and stuck in school.

I remember you saying your last job was your dream job and you gave that up to go back to school..

What will more schooling get you?
In regards to jobs?
Nothing wrong with learning haha

Sir-Ex · 03-20-2017, 10:14 AM

Basically I'm doing a double major so the BA is taking 5 years instead of 4 (I would be done this year otherwise), and I can't just stop before getting my degree for two reasons:
1. I don't like the feeling of not finishing something I decide to start doing
2. I'm partially supported by my native band - if I dropped out they would make me pay them back for 4 years of tuition and financial support.. quite a chunk of money

So yeah.. nuts are kind of stapled to school.

fenderbender · 03-20-2017, 01:03 PM

Eh some people dont even have nuts. Or staples. Or a school.

turmaline · 03-20-2017, 01:11 PM

Yeah it wasn't really any of my business..

All those jobs will be there for you in the end.

Sir-Ex · 03-20-2017, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenderbender

Eh some people dont even have nuts. Or staples. Or a school.

I'm not really complaining I'm just being dramatic with a light aura of pretense.

Poor me and my tragic life, where I am forced to turn down big companies contacting me to employ me

turmaline · 03-20-2017, 01:34 PM

You can be pissed.
It makes sense.
To be pissed it's a perspective right.

As myself.
I'm "trapped" living at my parents. My mom cooks dinner every night... not because I want her too.
I fucking hate it.
It's like a prison.
Causes me insanity.
Living in a beautiful location.

But being under the control of another for a period of time until you can get to where you need to be

Sucks!!!!!

Gratitude.
Bah!

I wish my life was harder

turmaline · 03-20-2017, 01:58 PM

I'm embarrassed by my last post everyone

Sir-Ex · 03-20-2017, 02:10 PM

Come join me in car lyfe

We'll start a convoy !

turmaline · 03-20-2017, 02:57 PM

Someone's mother is going to have to come cook my dinner

Nah j/k I'd kill for my own kitchen

**mothernature** · 03-20-2017, 03:06 PM

Damn, I wish I had someone who wanted to cook for me. :sad:

fenderbender · 03-20-2017, 06:08 PM

Holy fuck....

turmaline · 03-20-2017, 06:20 PM

We had one of those ioutside the patio door a couple of years ago.

Then the kids saw one on the road in the swamp so I jumped out to see if I could see it and then realized I should get back in before I get stomped to death.

Like those idiots I make fun of on YouTube.

Just realized.

Captain Cannabis · 03-21-2017, 01:15 AM

that moose has funny pants! what a baller

Hyperbole · 03-21-2017, 07:21 AM

metal gear solid 5 is really frustratingly fun.

been going nonstop since I got it, still haven't learned everything and ive been playing nonstop for 3 days. legit from 11am-4am.

if any of you have played it or are really good at it let me know, im terrible at video games.

Sir-Ex · 03-21-2017, 10:13 AM

I put close to 200 hours into that game.

What do you need to know?

03-20-2017, 08:48 AM	#49005 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 21,581 Thanks: 4,945 Thanked 9,543 Times in 5,438 Posts	School sucks! I just got an email that Microsoft wants to contract me on for a whole year. But guess what? Can't do it cuz nuts stapled to university oooooohmmmmyyggawwww d __________________ Smile ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▒ ▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ Link to my blog

03-20-2017, 09:23 AM	#49006 (permalink)
turmaline KONERS! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 5,210 Thanked 9,931 Times in 4,649 Posts	So I don't get it. Isn't going to school the whole purpose to get you the jobs that you want like with Microsoft? Orr is there more? You're already in and stuck in school. I remember you saying your last job was your dream job and you gave that up to go back to school.. What will more schooling get you? In regards to jobs? Nothing wrong with learning haha __________________ BONERZ! "I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word." "Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang." __________________ Terry "NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies" silverleaf

03-20-2017, 10:14 AM	#49007 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 21,581 Thanks: 4,945 Thanked 9,543 Times in 5,438 Posts	Basically I'm doing a double major so the BA is taking 5 years instead of 4 (I would be done this year otherwise), and I can't just stop before getting my degree for two reasons: 1. I don't like the feeling of not finishing something I decide to start doing 2. I'm partially supported by my native band - if I dropped out they would make me pay them back for 4 years of tuition and financial support.. quite a chunk of money So yeah.. nuts are kind of stapled to school. __________________ Smile ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▒ ▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ Link to my blog

03-20-2017, 01:03 PM	#49008 (permalink)
fenderbender Derp? Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: new jersey Posts: 12,089 Thanks: 22,255 Thanked 6,863 Times in 3,937 Posts	Eh some people dont even have nuts. Or staples. Or a school. __________________ <3

03-20-2017, 01:11 PM	#49009 (permalink)
turmaline KONERS! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 5,210 Thanked 9,931 Times in 4,649 Posts	Yeah it wasn't really any of my business.. All those jobs will be there for you in the end. __________________ BONERZ! "I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word." "Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang." __________________ Terry "NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies" silverleaf

03-19-2017, 10:02 AM	#49004 (permalink)
stoneric bougeman Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 10,663 Thanks: 5,541 Thanked 6,692 Times in 3,759 Posts	Shaq did get his higher education in Louisiana. That's probably what the majority of that state believe.

03-20-2017, 01:34 PM	#49011 (permalink)
turmaline KONERS! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 5,210 Thanked 9,931 Times in 4,649 Posts	You can be pissed. It makes sense. To be pissed it's a perspective right. As myself. I'm "trapped" living at my parents. My mom cooks dinner every night... not because I want her too. I fucking hate it. It's like a prison. Causes me insanity. Living in a beautiful location. But being under the control of another for a period of time until you can get to where you need to be Sucks!!!!! Gratitude. Bah! I wish my life was harder __________________ BONERZ! "I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word." "Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang." __________________ Terry "NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies" silverleaf

03-20-2017, 01:58 PM	#49012 (permalink)
turmaline KONERS! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 5,210 Thanked 9,931 Times in 4,649 Posts	I'm embarrassed by my last post everyone __________________ BONERZ! "I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word." "Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang." __________________ Terry "NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies" silverleaf

03-20-2017, 02:10 PM	#49013 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 21,581 Thanks: 4,945 Thanked 9,543 Times in 5,438 Posts	Come join me in car lyfe We'll start a convoy ! __________________ Smile ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▒ ▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ Link to my blog

03-20-2017, 02:57 PM	#49014 (permalink)
turmaline KONERS! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 5,210 Thanked 9,931 Times in 4,649 Posts	Someone's mother is going to have to come cook my dinner Nah j/k I'd kill for my own kitchen __________________ BONERZ! "I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word." "Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang." __________________ Terry "NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies" silverleaf

03-20-2017, 03:06 PM	#49015 (permalink)
mothernature ancientbongmaster Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 3,723 Thanks: 8,728 Thanked 4,289 Times in 2,078 Posts	Damn, I wish I had someone who wanted to cook for me. :sad: __________________ Sometimes sleep is the best revenge- Luke BLACK LIVES MATTER RESIST

03-20-2017, 06:08 PM	#49016 (permalink)
fenderbender Derp? Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: new jersey Posts: 12,089 Thanks: 22,255 Thanked 6,863 Times in 3,937 Posts	Holy fuck.... __________________ <3

03-20-2017, 06:20 PM	#49017 (permalink)
turmaline KONERS! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 5,210 Thanked 9,931 Times in 4,649 Posts	We had one of those ioutside the patio door a couple of years ago. Then the kids saw one on the road in the swamp so I jumped out to see if I could see it and then realized I should get back in before I get stomped to death. Like those idiots I make fun of on YouTube. Just realized. __________________ BONERZ! "I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word." "Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang." __________________ Terry "NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies" silverleaf

03-21-2017, 01:15 AM	#49018 (permalink)
Captain Cannabis safety word: more Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: m.i.a. Posts: 21,016 Thanks: 5,670 Thanked 7,981 Times in 4,169 Posts	that moose has funny pants! what a baller __________________ fuck the monkeys

03-21-2017, 07:21 AM	#49019 (permalink)
Hyperbole YaHookan Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 331 Thanks: 577 Thanked 372 Times in 184 Posts	metal gear solid 5 is really frustratingly fun. been going nonstop since I got it, still haven't learned everything and ive been playing nonstop for 3 days. legit from 11am-4am. if any of you have played it or are really good at it let me know, im terrible at video games.

03-21-2017, 10:13 AM	#49020 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 21,581 Thanks: 4,945 Thanked 9,543 Times in 5,438 Posts	I put close to 200 hours into that game. What do you need to know? __________________ Smile ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▓▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▒ ▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ Link to my blog

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