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Old 03-17-2017, 08:45 AM   #49001 (permalink)
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Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatter-proof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo --

"Defrost the chicken!"
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tyrannical apathy
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Old 03-17-2017, 05:17 PM   #49002 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by fenderbender View Post
Rip jacket

Im currently at a place in life where i have 0 items that im attached to really. Could lose everything in a fire, and... meh.

However that has more to do with me being a perpetually broke bum than all zen monk about it lol. It is something i try and cultivate regardless though. Not getting attached to material shit.

Pretty much my lifestyle 18-62. I never was big on material things.

When I moved from Denver to NC, I could literally fit all my possessions in a '63 Comet. By the time that jalopy got to NC, I had to shift from 1st to 3rd. 2nd gear was history. Main things in the car were my stereo, albums, clothes & a TV.

A joke I received in an e-mail from a pal out West...

MAINE LOBSTERS

A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Bar Harbor man answered his door to find two grim-faced Harbor Master officers.

"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife,".

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.

One officer said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news"!

Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."

The officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."

"Lord sufferin' Jesus!" exclaimed Flynn. What could possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued,
"When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic Maine Lobsters that you've ever seen clinging to her........Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 60's, and we feel you are entitled to a share of the catch."


Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The officer replied,

"We're going to pull her up again tomorrow"
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Old 03-18-2017, 08:11 PM   #49003 (permalink)
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Shaq sciences like he shoots free throws.
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Old 03-19-2017, 10:02 AM   #49004 (permalink)
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Shaq did get his higher education in Louisiana. That's probably what the majority of that state believe.
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Old 03-20-2017, 08:48 AM   #49005 (permalink)
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School sucks!

I just got an email that Microsoft wants to contract me on for a whole year. But guess what? Can't do it cuz nuts stapled to university oooooohmmmmyyggawwww d
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Old 03-20-2017, 09:23 AM   #49006 (permalink)
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So I don't get it.
Isn't going to school the whole purpose to get you the jobs that you want like with Microsoft?

Orr is there more?

You're already in and stuck in school.

I remember you saying your last job was your dream job and you gave that up to go back to school..

What will more schooling get you?
In regards to jobs?
Nothing wrong with learning haha
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Old 03-20-2017, 10:14 AM   #49007 (permalink)
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Basically I'm doing a double major so the BA is taking 5 years instead of 4 (I would be done this year otherwise), and I can't just stop before getting my degree for two reasons:
1. I don't like the feeling of not finishing something I decide to start doing
2. I'm partially supported by my native band - if I dropped out they would make me pay them back for 4 years of tuition and financial support.. quite a chunk of money



So yeah.. nuts are kind of stapled to school.
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Old 03-20-2017, 01:03 PM   #49008 (permalink)
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Eh some people dont even have nuts. Or staples. Or a school.
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Old 03-20-2017, 01:11 PM   #49009 (permalink)
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Yeah it wasn't really any of my business..

All those jobs will be there for you in the end.
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"Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang."
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"NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies"

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Old 03-20-2017, 01:27 PM   #49010 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fenderbender View Post
Eh some people dont even have nuts. Or staples. Or a school.
I'm not really complaining I'm just being dramatic with a light aura of pretense.

Poor me and my tragic life, where I am forced to turn down big companies contacting me to employ me
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Old 03-20-2017, 01:34 PM   #49011 (permalink)
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You can be pissed.
It makes sense.
To be pissed it's a perspective right.

As myself.
I'm "trapped" living at my parents. My mom cooks dinner every night... not because I want her too.
I fucking hate it.
It's like a prison.
Causes me insanity.
Living in a beautiful location.

But being under the control of another for a period of time until you can get to where you need to be

Sucks!!!!!

Gratitude.
Bah!

I wish my life was harder
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"Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang."
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"NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies"

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Old 03-20-2017, 01:58 PM   #49012 (permalink)
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I'm embarrassed by my last post everyone
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"Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang."
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"NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies"

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Old 03-20-2017, 02:10 PM   #49013 (permalink)
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Come join me in car lyfe

We'll start a convoy !
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Old 03-20-2017, 02:57 PM   #49014 (permalink)
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Someone's mother is going to have to come cook my dinner

Nah j/k I'd kill for my own kitchen
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"NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies"

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Old 03-20-2017, 03:06 PM   #49015 (permalink)
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Damn, I wish I had someone who wanted to cook for me. :sad:
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Old 03-20-2017, 06:08 PM   #49016 (permalink)
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Holy fuck....


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Old 03-20-2017, 06:20 PM   #49017 (permalink)
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We had one of those ioutside the patio door a couple of years ago.

Then the kids saw one on the road in the swamp so I jumped out to see if I could see it and then realized I should get back in before I get stomped to death.

Like those idiots I make fun of on YouTube.

Just realized.
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Old 03-21-2017, 01:15 AM   #49018 (permalink)
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that moose has funny pants! what a baller
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:21 AM   #49019 (permalink)
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metal gear solid 5 is really frustratingly fun.

been going nonstop since I got it, still haven't learned everything and ive been playing nonstop for 3 days. legit from 11am-4am.

if any of you have played it or are really good at it let me know, im terrible at video games.
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Old 03-21-2017, 10:13 AM   #49020 (permalink)
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I put close to 200 hours into that game.


What do you need to know?
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