Interpretation?

Bearsy · 05-14-2008, 09:38 PM

Yesterday, I was drinking at my desk, listening to music and writing, when on impulse I went on my ex's(Jessica) email and wrote something along the lines of "I think about you every day"

I haven't talked to Jess in 9 months except for two emails; the first was sent a few weeks after she broke up with her more recent bf(Charlie... the one that won between us, essentially) saying we should hang out some time after her classes are done with for the year, and my reply dancing around and making excuses to avoid it cause I still have hella strong feelings for her; but I've got rejection issues and I try my damnedest to avoid putting myself in positions where I feel I could get burned.

Anyway, yesterday I got this as a reply.

Quote:

i think of you all the time. everyday basically. we kinda had a thing and i
liked you a long time ago. i liked you a lot. but i had so much going on, that it wasn't the right time. i hated how it worked because i didn't want it to be as bad as it was. i did like you. a lot. i still do. but again, the mess. the funny thing is, i think if i were to let go of all im trying to fix or hang onto in my life, and just go for it, it would work out perfectly. but at the same time, i would always wonder and think and i wouldn't wanna hurt you in any way. ever. because your amazing. your an incredible person. =] im sure i shall be seeing you soon, and if you stare into my eyes, i think you'll see it. you will. i know you will.

I'm pretty sure "the mess" = when she dumped me to go back with Charlie... if not it's just about her dealing with all of the Charlie shit now(he's pretty much a terrible person)

So anyway, toward the end it gets hella ambiguous, and I'm not sure what to think/do/say/how to act.

What're your thoughts? I'm pretty much head over heels for her, but is this her way of saying this would be nice, but no... or is she saying we should go for it?

----------------
Now playing: Gnarls Barkley - No Time Soon
via FoxyTunes

surf*and*smoke · 05-14-2008, 09:59 PM

It is either her trying to ease a relationship back with you, or quite possibly her just pussyfooting around saying that she just wants to be friends.

...I believe the quote goes, "women, they're so fucking wily"

Good luck in deciphering man, I hope it all goes well. And if not, you can always post all her pics on here for yahooka to criticize and photoshop to make ya feel better.

Hooked · 05-14-2008, 11:44 PM

I agree, she may well be saying that it's seems like a great idea, but if put into practice, won't manifest as such.

Going through life protecting yourself from being hurt is no way to live. I'm not saying you're trying to set that precedent here, but if you really want this, then go for it. Make yourself vulnerable. If it works out it'll be that much better.

And if it doesn't, well, you know what she thinks of you, and if she's sincere about it then it shouldn't be that big a blow.

Shitty deal, man. It doesn't seem unreasonable to ask her to clarify (if you mean as much to her as she claims), but at the same time, we know it is.

Suerte, amigo

spicoli · 05-15-2008, 12:16 AM

to me, in woman-speak, it sounds as if she's trying to tell you that she cares for you very deeply, and that she feels it important for you to know that. you will see it in her eyes, but she doesn't trust her fleeting feelings...she really doesn't want to hurt you.
i've had 'friendships' with guys that i had feelings for, but knew it wouldn't go anywhere, for whatever reason, sometimes we just know. i never took the leap with a few friends because of the potential fall-out. sometimes a friendship really is worth saving.
that's what her words said to me. but i don't know her, you do.

Bearsy · 05-15-2008, 01:29 PM

thanks... that not really what I wanted to hear, lol.

05-15-2008, 01:58 PM

its never what you want to hear, but you know what sucks, sitting wishing you had given up earlier and saved some time and hearache...

trust me on that one pal....

Bearsy · 05-16-2008, 10:06 PM

true that... I'm gonna stop worrying about it, and I'll see how things go when I see her in a few weeks.
If it doesn't work out I'm gonna drop it completely.

illest12 · 05-17-2008, 02:06 PM

from a girls point of view.

Shes trying to be nice but she doesnt really care about you THAT much. She may still care about you...but not as extreeme as that email says.

If she wanted you,
She'd be with you.

Even if she overthinks and can't let go...

She'd do it if she cared more about you than her own issues.

Obviously not, but whatever...ur better off.

SayMyName · 05-18-2008, 08:46 AM

Bearsey, I could be way off on this, but.....

Her=Linus

You=Linus' blanket

HTAM

SweetSativa · 05-19-2008, 11:14 AM

Ask her. Don't try to decipher it. Tell her to be upfront and straight. Man, I had enough head games in early relationships to last a fucking life-time (excuse the French). I decided that I had to be straight with the one who is now my husband and demand the same of him. It's the defining characteristic of this (now 14 year) marriage. Screw the head games... set some rules (just my opinion... if you like the games then keep guessing what she means. Chances are she's not sure what she means either and talking it out might force her to get honest with herself and help her iron out her own thoughts and feelings).

Good luck

SweetSativa · 05-19-2008, 11:17 AM

btw... another tip from an old lady

you might keep in mind that it's alright for her to feel whatever it is that she feels. It doesn't mean you have to like it but she will be more honest with you if you let her know how her words effect you but also that you accept and respect that she is entitled to her feelings... even to her confusion. Try to avoid that codependent 'I need you, you need me...' stuff

ChiefBongWater · 05-26-2008, 08:29 PM

So did you guys meet up yet? Hope it went well man, just blast some crack rock steady before and that will give ya all the confidence ya need dude

Psilocychosis · 05-26-2008, 09:31 PM

shes saying she has confusing feelings about you.

Go for it. If it doesn't work, whatever. But you'd be missing out if u didn't try

Captain Cannabis · 05-26-2008, 09:40 PM

its hard to say what she means. she may not even know herself what she wants. if you think it could work put yourself out there. the worst possible outcome is rejection and then you are back where you started.

its really easy to give advice like that. much harder to actually act on it. i'm pretty stupid when it comes to relationships. i recommend talking to her about it though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spicoli

i've had 'friendships' with guys that i had feelings for, but knew it wouldn't go anywhere, for whatever reason, sometimes we just know. i never took the leap with a few friends because of the potential fall-out. sometimes a friendship really is worth saving.
that's what her words said to me. but i don't know her, you do.

i'm glad to have read that from a girl. thanks.

Bearsy · 05-26-2008, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiefBongWater

So did you guys meet up yet? Hope it went well man, just blast some crack rock steady before and that will give ya all the confidence ya need dude

Good choice, lol... I don't see her til next Thursday, I thought it was gonna be this week, but she's got graduation that night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xMSx

shes saying she has confusing feelings about you.

Go for it. If it doesn't work, whatever. But you'd be missing out if u didn't try

Word, I'm just gonna put my neck out there and hope for the best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Cannabis

its hard to say what she means. she may not even know herself what she wants. if you think it could work put yourself out there. the worst possible outcome is rejection and then you are back where you started.

its really easy to give advice like that. much harder to actually act on it. i'm pretty stupid when it comes to relationships. i recommend talking to her about it though.

True, I've had so much experience when it comes to rejection its the main reason I still haven't talked to her.
I mean she called me 6 days ago and I still haven't called her back, mainly cause I seriously suck at talking on the phone, but also cause I don't want to get into it on the phone... I really want to be face to face.

Captain Cannabis · 05-26-2008, 11:22 PM

sucking at talking on the phone is a terrible excuse. call her and make sure you don't get into a conversation. just say that you need to talk and you don't want to do it on the phone, and when can you meet up.

you can't see her face to face without first calling her (unless you are a creepy stalker)

Bearsy · 05-28-2008, 07:27 PM

No, I can see her f2f without a call first... we're going to a Disco Biscuits concert in a week from tomorrow... we're planning to meet up there, as we do every week once T.a.t.S. starts.

I am gonna call her tomorrow though.

Sticky · 05-29-2008, 01:53 PM

Sounds like a good old game of "C'mere, c'mere, c'mere, go'way, go'way, go'way". Like the man said (or somebody up there) you won't know unless you try. What have you got to lose?

tedkennedy · 05-31-2008, 09:55 PM

sounds like trouble to me bearsy.

Bearsy · 06-01-2008, 10:15 AM

idk man, I talked to her on the phone for about 2 hours on Thursday and I just saw this today...

Quote:

So i left you a thing a while ago. about how much i like you. and it's still true. i've been trying really hard to figure my life out. so when i do see you, i may know what to do. i've just had so much going on. and i honestly think you deserve more than me. i really do. because i can be pretty messed up. im not sure. im also not sure if you'll still care about me. cause i was at one point a huge idiot and felt like i hurt you. but im here now. i just need to figure this out. wait for me? because i really think i love you.

05-14-2008, 09:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
surfandsmoke I Don't Want It Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Doing a buck ten on highway 5 Posts: 5,613 Thanks: 18 Thanked 27 Times in 15 Posts	It is either her trying to ease a relationship back with you, or quite possibly her just pussyfooting around saying that she just wants to be friends. ...I believe the quote goes, "women, they're so fucking wily" Good luck in deciphering man, I hope it all goes well. And if not, you can always post all her pics on here for yahooka to criticize and photoshop to make ya feel better. __________________ Free yer bewbs

05-14-2008, 11:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Hooked Hedonistic fool Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Denver Metro Posts: 5,741 Thanks: 22 Thanked 35 Times in 28 Posts	I agree, she may well be saying that it's seems like a great idea, but if put into practice, won't manifest as such. Going through life protecting yourself from being hurt is no way to live. I'm not saying you're trying to set that precedent here, but if you really want this, then go for it. Make yourself vulnerable. If it works out it'll be that much better. And if it doesn't, well, you know what she thinks of you, and if she's sincere about it then it shouldn't be that big a blow. Shitty deal, man. It doesn't seem unreasonable to ask her to clarify (if you mean as much to her as she claims), but at the same time, we know it is. Suerte, amigo __________________ The never-ending quest to find a reason to smile...

05-15-2008, 12:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
spicoli be love now Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Cali Posts: 992 Thanks: 98 Thanked 73 Times in 56 Posts	to me, in woman-speak, it sounds as if she's trying to tell you that she cares for you very deeply, and that she feels it important for you to know that. you will see it in her eyes, but she doesn't trust her fleeting feelings...she really doesn't want to hurt you. i've had 'friendships' with guys that i had feelings for, but knew it wouldn't go anywhere, for whatever reason, sometimes we just know. i never took the leap with a few friends because of the potential fall-out. sometimes a friendship really is worth saving. that's what her words said to me. but i don't know her, you do. __________________ The only thing that limits human beings is what we think we know. -me

05-19-2008, 11:14 AM	#10 (permalink)
SweetSativa Lucid Daydreamer Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 3,935 Thanks: 26 Thanked 51 Times in 47 Posts	Ask her. Don't try to decipher it. Tell her to be upfront and straight. Man, I had enough head games in early relationships to last a fucking life-time (excuse the French). I decided that I had to be straight with the one who is now my husband and demand the same of him. It's the defining characteristic of this (now 14 year) marriage. Screw the head games... set some rules (just my opinion... if you like the games then keep guessing what she means. Chances are she's not sure what she means either and talking it out might force her to get honest with herself and help her iron out her own thoughts and feelings). Good luck __________________ "Why is it that when people talk to God, we call it praying but when God talks to people, we call it crazy?"- Touched by an Angel http://www.youtube.com/user/immelody.../0/DDRj93dQ0O0

05-19-2008, 11:17 AM	#11 (permalink)
SweetSativa Lucid Daydreamer Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 3,935 Thanks: 26 Thanked 51 Times in 47 Posts	btw... another tip from an old lady you might keep in mind that it's alright for her to feel whatever it is that she feels. It doesn't mean you have to like it but she will be more honest with you if you let her know how her words effect you but also that you accept and respect that she is entitled to her feelings... even to her confusion. Try to avoid that codependent 'I need you, you need me...' stuff __________________ "Why is it that when people talk to God, we call it praying but when God talks to people, we call it crazy?"- Touched by an Angel http://www.youtube.com/user/immelody.../0/DDRj93dQ0O0

05-15-2008, 01:58 PM	#6 (permalink)
GirlsHateMe Guest Posts: n/a	its never what you want to hear, but you know what sucks, sitting wishing you had given up earlier and saved some time and hearache... trust me on that one pal....

05-17-2008, 02:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
illest12 YaHookan Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NY Posts: 817 Thanks: 30 Thanked 34 Times in 27 Posts	from a girls point of view. Shes trying to be nice but she doesnt really care about you THAT much. She may still care about you...but not as extreeme as that email says. If she wanted you, She'd be with you. Even if she overthinks and can't let go... She'd do it if she cared more about you than her own issues. Obviously not, but whatever...ur better off.

05-18-2008, 08:46 AM	#9 (permalink)
SayMyName Whachu tawkin' bout Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,729 Thanks: 2,740 Thanked 2,487 Times in 1,379 Posts	Bearsey, I could be way off on this, but..... Her=Linus You=Linus' blanket HTAM

05-26-2008, 08:29 PM	#12 (permalink)
ChiefBongWater a lot of grease Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Appalachia Posts: 1,488 Thanks: 162 Thanked 422 Times in 284 Posts	So did you guys meet up yet? Hope it went well man, just blast some crack rock steady before and that will give ya all the confidence ya need dude __________________ Straight No Chaser Bridges, Boobs, Beer

05-26-2008, 09:31 PM	#13 (permalink)
Psilocychosis Reelin' in the Years Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Long and Winding Road Posts: 762 Thanks: 25 Thanked 56 Times in 47 Posts	shes saying she has confusing feelings about you. Go for it. If it doesn't work, whatever. But you'd be missing out if u didn't try __________________ The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. -Humphrey Bogart

05-26-2008, 11:22 PM	#16 (permalink)
Captain Cannabis safety word: more Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: m.i.a. Posts: 17,499 Thanks: 3,306 Thanked 4,114 Times in 2,238 Posts	sucking at talking on the phone is a terrible excuse. call her and make sure you don't get into a conversation. just say that you need to talk and you don't want to do it on the phone, and when can you meet up. you can't see her face to face without first calling her (unless you are a creepy stalker) __________________ fuck the monkeys

05-29-2008, 01:53 PM	#18 (permalink)
Sticky YaHookan Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Ottawa Posts: 7 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Sounds like a good old game of "C'mere, c'mere, c'mere, go'way, go'way, go'way". Like the man said (or somebody up there) you won't know unless you try. What have you got to lose?

05-31-2008, 09:55 PM	#19 (permalink)
tedkennedy now 14% blacker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 8,097 Thanks: 65 Thanked 563 Times in 348 Posts	sounds like trouble to me bearsy. __________________ matthew munari

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