Scamming your employer

al-Mu'akhkhir · 07-06-2009, 02:06 PM

so I am off of work for the next 48 hours, during which I will be paid for 16 hours of work through the magic of sick leave. So basically I will have earned $240 (before deductions) for being sick, less a $20 bottle of amoxicillan.

since most of my time will be spent jacking off, in a sense I could say that I will have gotten paid a ridiculous amount of money to bust my nut several dozen times, sleep, drink neocitran.. etc.

how do you scam your employer?

verklingen · 07-06-2009, 02:09 PM

i post on yahooka p much all day

my_scatterheart · 07-06-2009, 02:13 PM

-I usta take bags of real nice coffee home.
-Go to their store next to ours and drink mad free bajillion dollar fuckin tasty coffee concotions throughout the day
-Eat their chocolate covered graham crackaz with my coffee
-All sortsa free candy like goodies for allllll
-Plus for lunchies when it was too hot out I'd go next door to their other place and make Dimitri either make me a bangin iced coffee or gimme some fuckin free gilato goods.
Basically I raped them for my terrible caffeine addiction when I was there.

al-Mu'akhkhir · 07-06-2009, 02:19 PM

yeah i easily drink 2l of free fountain drinks in an 8 hour shift. maybe a milkshake if the boss isn't around.

shai_hulud · 07-06-2009, 02:26 PM

i used to write off lunches and dinners all the time saying i took out customers when it was usually friends and such. also pens. i was never short of pens.

José · 07-06-2009, 02:34 PM

When people would order toast and then change their mind to get a side of something else I'd eat their toast.

But my current job I just get to smoke while delivering shit, so what ever.

Grieves · 07-06-2009, 02:35 PM

omg, you bad...

José · 07-06-2009, 02:36 PM

I'd be sure to smother it in butter and take it to the back room and proceed to eat a toast butter sandwhich.

Kishar · 07-06-2009, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by my_scatterheart

-I usta take bags of real nice coffee home.
-Go to their store next to ours and drink mad free bajillion dollar fuckin tasty coffee concotions throughout the day
-Eat their chocolate covered graham crackaz with my coffee
-All sortsa free candy like goodies for allllll
-Plus for lunchies when it was too hot out I'd go next door to their other place and make Dimitri either make me a bangin iced coffee or gimme some fuckin free gilato goods.
Basically I raped them for my terrible caffeine addiction when I was there.

i bet you look like a beach ball with arms and legs.

José · 07-06-2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kishar

i bet you look like a beach ball with arms and legs.

I bet you look like a blueberry.

Kishar · 07-06-2009, 02:51 PM

here i is...

my_scatterheart · 07-06-2009, 02:52 PM

what're you 5?
yeah I'm huge

and spanky, I don't blame you. Toast is fucking amazing. Amazing.

verklingen · 07-06-2009, 03:07 PM

toast beats the fuck out of bacon even

**Mafoo** · 07-06-2009, 03:10 PM

wat is employer?

edit: @ the retarder, you serious!?!? 2l on an 8 hour shift? id be fearful of kidney stones

slapstick · 07-06-2009, 03:38 PM

I must have drank more than that at Lorenzos.

and verk, you can't be serious.

al-Mu'akhkhir · 07-06-2009, 03:38 PM

yeah that might explain why I haven't pissed in a fortnight...

but verk is right, buttered toast is next to godliness.

Being · 07-06-2009, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by al-Mu'akhkhir

so I am off of work for the next 48 hours, during which I will be paid for 16 hours of work through the magic of sick leave. So basically I will have earned $240 (before deductions) for being sick, less a $20 bottle of amoxicillan.

since most of my time will be spent jacking off, in a sense I could say that I will have gotten paid a ridiculous amount of money to bust my nut several dozen times, sleep, drink neocitran.. etc.

how do you scam your employer?

Are you making $5/hr?

you can't be supporting yourself on that, jesus.

but either way, i do love vacation/paid sick leave

The Rev · 07-06-2009, 04:35 PM

I download alot of economic data from the Federal Reserve and graph it to learn about economics. I also just sit there, sometimes to the point of dozing off. I only do these things when I have nothing to do, which is 1/2 the time. The other 1/2, I have too much to do.

The Rev

fenderbender · 07-06-2009, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by verklingen

toast beats the fuck out of bacon even

hold on here...

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!?

The Rev · 07-06-2009, 05:33 PM

Well, pigs like it better.

The Rev

07-06-2009, 02:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
al-Mu'akhkhir Vem Para Ficar Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: in some pussy Posts: 3,203 Thanks: 500 Thanked 351 Times in 270 Posts	Scamming your employer so I am off of work for the next 48 hours, during which I will be paid for 16 hours of work through the magic of sick leave. So basically I will have earned $240 (before deductions) for being sick, less a $20 bottle of amoxicillan. since most of my time will be spent jacking off, in a sense I could say that I will have gotten paid a ridiculous amount of money to bust my nut several dozen times, sleep, drink neocitran.. etc. how do you scam your employer? __________________ Last edited by al-Mu'akhkhir; 07-06-2009 at 02:12 PM.

07-06-2009, 02:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
verklingen Radical Dreamer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: texas Posts: 8,005 Thanks: 811 Thanked 1,491 Times in 946 Posts	i post on yahooka p much all day __________________ “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” rip matt

07-06-2009, 02:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,323 Times in 1,870 Posts	-I usta take bags of real nice coffee home. -Go to their store next to ours and drink mad free bajillion dollar fuckin tasty coffee concotions throughout the day -Eat their chocolate covered graham crackaz with my coffee -All sortsa free candy like goodies for allllll -Plus for lunchies when it was too hot out I'd go next door to their other place and make Dimitri either make me a bangin iced coffee or gimme some fuckin free gilato goods. Basically I raped them for my terrible caffeine addiction when I was there. __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

07-06-2009, 02:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
al-Mu'akhkhir Vem Para Ficar Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: in some pussy Posts: 3,203 Thanks: 500 Thanked 351 Times in 270 Posts	yeah i easily drink 2l of free fountain drinks in an 8 hour shift. maybe a milkshake if the boss isn't around. __________________

07-06-2009, 02:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
shai_hulud Om nom Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ab, ca Posts: 2,161 Thanks: 440 Thanked 600 Times in 335 Posts	i used to write off lunches and dinners all the time saying i took out customers when it was usually friends and such. also pens. i was never short of pens. __________________ "There are only three useless things in this world. Nuns' nipples, bishops' balls and an employer's praise without a raise."

07-06-2009, 02:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
José YaHookan Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,363 Thanks: 62 Thanked 147 Times in 72 Posts	When people would order toast and then change their mind to get a side of something else I'd eat their toast. But my current job I just get to smoke while delivering shit, so what ever.

07-06-2009, 02:35 PM	#7 (permalink)
Grieves The Worst Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Interstate 8 Posts: 12,077 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 2,552 Thanked 3,107 Times in 1,708 Posts	omg, you bad... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

07-06-2009, 02:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
José YaHookan Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,363 Thanks: 62 Thanked 147 Times in 72 Posts	I'd be sure to smother it in butter and take it to the back room and proceed to eat a toast butter sandwhich.

07-06-2009, 02:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
Kishar loading user title.. Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: subcutaneous layer Posts: 2,236 Thanks: 121 Thanked 223 Times in 156 Posts	here i is... __________________ Those Americans who believed that we could live under the illusion of isolationism wanted the American eagle to imitate the tactics of the ostrich. Now, many of those same people, afraid that we may be sticking our necks out, want our national bird to be turned into a turtle. But we prefer to retain the eagle as it is--flying high and striking hard. "FDR"

07-06-2009, 02:52 PM	#12 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,323 Times in 1,870 Posts	what're you 5? yeah I'm huge and spanky, I don't blame you. Toast is fucking amazing. Amazing. __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

07-06-2009, 03:07 PM	#13 (permalink)
verklingen Radical Dreamer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: texas Posts: 8,005 Thanks: 811 Thanked 1,491 Times in 946 Posts	toast beats the fuck out of bacon even __________________ “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” rip matt

07-06-2009, 03:10 PM	#14 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,973 Thanks: 3,775 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,697 Posts	wat is employer? edit: @ the retarder, you serious!?!? 2l on an 8 hour shift? id be fearful of kidney stones __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return Last edited by Mafoo; 07-06-2009 at 03:12 PM.

07-06-2009, 03:38 PM	#15 (permalink)
slapstick serial time killer Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: las cruces, New Mexico Posts: 332 Thanks: 75 Thanked 105 Times in 86 Posts	I must have drank more than that at Lorenzos. and verk, you can't be serious. __________________ ^ nigga went to "dont know what the fuck is going on" college - GHM "well, they say that life is a joke. so try not to wait til the last moment to laugh at it." -verklingen

07-06-2009, 03:38 PM	#16 (permalink)
al-Mu'akhkhir Vem Para Ficar Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: in some pussy Posts: 3,203 Thanks: 500 Thanked 351 Times in 270 Posts	yeah that might explain why I haven't pissed in a fortnight... but verk is right, buttered toast is next to godliness. __________________

07-06-2009, 04:35 PM	#18 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,860 Thanks: 5,012 Thanked 5,416 Times in 2,862 Posts	I download alot of economic data from the Federal Reserve and graph it to learn about economics. I also just sit there, sometimes to the point of dozing off. I only do these things when I have nothing to do, which is 1/2 the time. The other 1/2, I have too much to do. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

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07-06-2009, 05:33 PM	#20 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,860 Thanks: 5,012 Thanked 5,416 Times in 2,862 Posts	Well, pigs like it better. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

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