Life lessons from youth

icsilk · 07-26-2009, 08:44 AM

My mother bought this home from work this morning ... Laughed my balls off, so figured Id share ...

Great truths that little children have learned:

1) No matter how hard you try you can't baptize cats

2) When your mom is mad at dad, don't let her brush your hair

3) If your sister hits you don't hit her back, they always catch the second person

4) Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair

7) Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time

8) You can't hide a piece of brocolli in a glass of milk

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be if your sad is Grandpas lap

Enjoy .... and add more if you got 'em.

Dr. Drew · 07-26-2009, 09:38 PM

don't poop on your dinner plate.

regarded · 07-27-2009, 01:45 PM

^You dont shit where you eat.

Mikey · 07-28-2009, 08:41 AM

^ or fuck where you shit

**Mafoo** · 07-28-2009, 11:19 AM

toys dont fix themselves after you break them

Xil · 07-28-2009, 12:28 PM

An adorable little girl at my work asked me what i was going to learn about at college. When i told her i was gonna major in philosophy she replied, "Oh, so your throwing your life away?"

Kids are so damned perceptive...

verklingen · 07-28-2009, 01:48 PM

lol i dunno man could easily be something picked up from a cartoon or whatever. in my experience kids have to be taught fatalistic concepts such as that. they're too busy living life to think any of it could be a waste. imo of course.

Being · 07-28-2009, 02:08 PM

simply amazing xil

**Mafoo** · 07-28-2009, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xil

An adorable little girl at my work asked me what i was going to learn about at college. When i told her i was gonna major in philosophy she replied, "Oh, so your throwing your life away?"

Kids are so damned perceptive...

well at least you know how mom n dad view philosophy

Xil · 07-29-2009, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mafoo

well at least you know how mom n dad view philosophy

this. she was a really cool kid (im a camp counselor btw) but she claimed to want to go into international business when she grew up

regarded · 07-29-2009, 07:04 PM

Dude philosophy rocks.

icsilk · 08-06-2009, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Dude philosophy rocks.

Why? I dont' know, but its funny at the mo

07-26-2009, 08:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
icsilk Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Monkey Hive Posts: 31 Thanks: 2 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Life lessons from youth My mother bought this home from work this morning ... Laughed my balls off, so figured Id share ... Great truths that little children have learned: 1) No matter how hard you try you can't baptize cats 2) When your mom is mad at dad, don't let her brush your hair 3) If your sister hits you don't hit her back, they always catch the second person 4) Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair 7) Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time 8) You can't hide a piece of brocolli in a glass of milk 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be if your sad is Grandpas lap Enjoy .... and add more if you got 'em. __________________ "In most gardens they make the beds too soft - so that the flowers are always asleep" - Tiger Lily

07-28-2009, 08:41 AM	#4 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,294 Thanks: 1,080 Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,344 Posts	^ or fuck where you shit __________________ RIP Gov

07-28-2009, 11:19 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,962 Thanks: 3,491 Thanked 2,356 Times in 1,540 Posts	toys dont fix themselves after you break them __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

07-28-2009, 12:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
Xil OD'ing on sobriety Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mizzura Posts: 3,292 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 993 Thanked 1,108 Times in 687 Posts	An adorable little girl at my work asked me what i was going to learn about at college. When i told her i was gonna major in philosophy she replied, "Oh, so your throwing your life away?" Kids are so damned perceptive... __________________ Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life

07-28-2009, 01:48 PM	#7 (permalink)
verklingen Radical Dreamer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: texas Posts: 8,031 Thanks: 795 Thanked 1,470 Times in 940 Posts	lol i dunno man could easily be something picked up from a cartoon or whatever. in my experience kids have to be taught fatalistic concepts such as that. they're too busy living life to think any of it could be a waste. imo of course. __________________ “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” rip matt

07-27-2009, 01:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
regarded YaHookan Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 8 Thanks: 19 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	^You dont shit where you eat.

07-29-2009, 07:04 PM	#11 (permalink)
regarded YaHookan Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 8 Thanks: 19 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Dude philosophy rocks.

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