To the parents...

Mescalito · 10-19-2009, 01:12 AM

How does you parenting compare to how you were parented when you were younger?

Or if you are not a parent.. how would you treat your own children in comparison..

M

Mikey · 10-19-2009, 08:59 AM

i dunno, i guess the biggest difference is i actually talk to my kid and know what's going on in his life

great idea for a topic btw

Debaser · 10-22-2009, 12:31 PM

I see some weird parallels. My parenting is totally 180 from the way I grew up. My dad was verbally (often physically) abusive...always in a bad mood, always yelling or bitching about something. Never spent time with us....I can count on one hand (ok, half of a hand) the good childhood memories I have of my dad.

As for me, I'm laid back (sometimes too much, I think), I don't even like to raise my voice...but who knows what the future holds? My son is only 3 now, and I've got another one on the way, but even at that, I was always so dead set against "turning into" my dad that I don't think it'll ever happen. On the other hand, if I had to compare my relationship to my parents, I would say that my wife is taking up the rold of my dad. Verbally abusive, controlling, and it just seems like she's not happy unless she's bitching about something. I walk on eggshells all the time. This is also a big factor in me not turning into my dad...I don't have to because my wife fills the role, which is a huge sore point with me, and if nothing changes then eventually something will have to, because "sticking around for the kids' sake" is only going to cut it for so long.

Wow, what a downer!

yo. · 10-22-2009, 01:33 PM

my dad was never really around either, one would call him a drunk as he drinks at least 6 beers a day, yet i've only seen him actually drunk maybe 3 times in my life. and he's like Debasers, pretty much a dick 24/7. when him and my bitch ass step mom split up for a while, it was the best time of my life. me him and my older brother rented an apartment and it was real chill. he was always kicked back crackin jokes and shit but as soon as he got back wit my step mom, he flipped back to how he used to be. plus he works A LOT so he was never around growing up. i don't have one good memory of me and my dad. every time we went some where alone, we would always end up arguing, with a couple exceptions. and this is all ignoring my step mom. that woman is evil. she's pushed my brother so far her threw he against a wall and beat her head in a couple times. she was like yellin and pullin his long hair talkin about he's shit just like our mom, who's never around either. sayin that she's the only mom we've ever had. which is fucked up because all of us our kinda sensitive about our mother situation. thats a whole nother story. my step mom caused me to move in with my grandma. who is pro-pot

/rant with overall, i'm driven to be the very opposite of my father, and be there for my kid. i want my kid to feel as he is, created by me, as a part of me.

hijabihippie · 10-23-2009, 08:00 AM

All I can say is, my experience with my parents was so bad I decided never to have kids.
Best decision I ever made.

10-19-2009, 01:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
Mescalito Space Cadet Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 6,146 Thanks: 638 Thanked 679 Times in 347 Posts	To the parents... How does you parenting compare to how you were parented when you were younger? Or if you are not a parent.. how would you treat your own children in comparison.. M __________________ Jungle Monkey

10-19-2009, 08:59 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,294 Thanks: 1,080 Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,344 Posts	i dunno, i guess the biggest difference is i actually talk to my kid and know what's going on in his life great idea for a topic btw __________________ RIP Gov

10-22-2009, 12:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
Debaser Baked Fresh Daily Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Winnipeg Posts: 1,200 Thanks: 32 Thanked 302 Times in 177 Posts	I see some weird parallels. My parenting is totally 180 from the way I grew up. My dad was verbally (often physically) abusive...always in a bad mood, always yelling or bitching about something. Never spent time with us....I can count on one hand (ok, half of a hand) the good childhood memories I have of my dad. As for me, I'm laid back (sometimes too much, I think), I don't even like to raise my voice...but who knows what the future holds? My son is only 3 now, and I've got another one on the way, but even at that, I was always so dead set against "turning into" my dad that I don't think it'll ever happen. On the other hand, if I had to compare my relationship to my parents, I would say that my wife is taking up the rold of my dad. Verbally abusive, controlling, and it just seems like she's not happy unless she's bitching about something. I walk on eggshells all the time. This is also a big factor in me not turning into my dad...I don't have to because my wife fills the role, which is a huge sore point with me, and if nothing changes then eventually something will have to, because "sticking around for the kids' sake" is only going to cut it for so long. Wow, what a downer! __________________ Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song? Message CM47: Let's go pay some hookers to knock our junk around.

10-22-2009, 01:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
yo. Controversial Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: SOCAL Posts: 1,207 Thanks: 676 Thanked 202 Times in 143 Posts	my dad was never really around either, one would call him a drunk as he drinks at least 6 beers a day, yet i've only seen him actually drunk maybe 3 times in my life. and he's like Debasers, pretty much a dick 24/7. when him and my bitch ass step mom split up for a while, it was the best time of my life. me him and my older brother rented an apartment and it was real chill. he was always kicked back crackin jokes and shit but as soon as he got back wit my step mom, he flipped back to how he used to be. plus he works A LOT so he was never around growing up. i don't have one good memory of me and my dad. every time we went some where alone, we would always end up arguing, with a couple exceptions. and this is all ignoring my step mom. that woman is evil. she's pushed my brother so far her threw he against a wall and beat her head in a couple times. she was like yellin and pullin his long hair talkin about he's shit just like our mom, who's never around either. sayin that she's the only mom we've ever had. which is fucked up because all of us our kinda sensitive about our mother situation. thats a whole nother story. my step mom caused me to move in with my grandma. who is pro-pot /rant with overall, i'm driven to be the very opposite of my father, and be there for my kid. i want my kid to feel as he is, created by me, as a part of me. __________________ "God" is an alien and we all came from another galaxy as an expansion of our specie's existence. Last edited by yo.; 10-23-2009 at 11:35 AM.

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10-23-2009, 08:00 AM	#5 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,587 Thanks: 1,153 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	All I can say is, my experience with my parents was so bad I decided never to have kids. Best decision I ever made.

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