Quiet vs talkative - Page 3

Qui-Bong Jinn · 03-17-2011, 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenderbender

basically my problem is, the shit i like to talk about is generally not first impression type convo.

You hit the nail on the head with that one man, thats the same with me, I don't enjoy talking about random bullshit.

**SageTree** · 03-17-2011, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rev

You make me wonder about the average YaHookan, Fender. Are any of us the kind of person who can just talk about bullshit with people, like people seem to normally do? Or are we all those social misfits who need our connections with others to be meaningful in some way?

The Rev

I'm proud to say that my BSing on the trolly the other night landed me in a REALLY super cool conversation after a few mins of shooting the breeze. Ended up talking to the guy for nearly the whole 50 min ride.

This isn't the norm generally speaking.

I work to question 'meaningful'... because I don't know what the other person gets from it.

I feel I've said some pretty 'what-ever, not super thoughtful' kinda comments in a message or face to face and have had people come back a while later in time and say it really meant a lot to them....

Sometimes I gotta dig a couple spade fulls before I find the treasure.... sometimes I just hit the sewer line

Sir-Ex · 03-17-2011, 08:58 AM

Let my lack of initiative to say much more than this answer the question for you.

adventure · 03-17-2011, 09:26 AM

I used to be pretty quite, then I sold cars for a year, and that forced me to talk to people, now i would say im pretty out going, I like talking to people. Im not the guy on a line who starts talking to you, only if i walk to the store drunk

Geeno · 03-17-2011, 03:46 PM

"literate and stylish, kissable and quiet
that's what girls dreams are made of"

turmaline · 03-17-2011, 03:47 PM

I usually have to look at the person's face to see if what i am talking about is offesive, if I have pushed the "boundaries" so to speak..I like to talk about..."stuff"...

Geeno · 03-17-2011, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Don

Being able to bullshit small talk is essential on construction sites. I loathe it, but I'm proffecient at it..

lol don, you construction now too?

Ive been at it for about a year. Refrigeration installation, which is 99% construction.

Ive learned a few things, no west side story references and no one else thinks TLC's Creep is the greatest song of all time.

But to answer the thread: Sometimes a little of both.

I have days where I seem to need isolation and solitude, and days when I can't stop gabbing and socializing. It sucks when I mistake my situation and surroundings and go to a party when I'm feeling the need for solitude, thinking that a party is what I need to be social.

I've always been one to bust out some crazy random shit on people, and I'm always joking around. The american southeast is a pretty good place for someone of my level of sociability, people love to talk to strangers and at the same time respect when you have business to go about (for the most part)

fenderbender · 03-17-2011, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SageTree

I work to question 'meaningful'... because I don't know what the other person gets from it.

I feel I've said some pretty 'what-ever, not super thoughtful' kinda comments in a message or face to face and have had people come back a while later in time and say it really meant a lot to them....

Sometimes I gotta dig a couple spade fulls before I find the treasure.... sometimes I just hit the sewer line

word sage.. that is very true.

It reminds me of something this younger kid i used to hang out with said to me pretty recently..

He was asking me why i dont chill anymore. I was telling him how i just dont chill with Anyone anymore, and to not take it personally...basical ly saying how i dont get anything from most social interaction these days.

He then said something along the lines of
"yeah but "I" get enjoyment(orsomethin g) from hanging out with you"

It really made me think.

If social scenarios are anything like the concept of Love, then you would have to GIVE a lot more then you receive, to receive anything at all.
When giving out love you almost never receive it in equal amounts, but if you did not give you wouldn't receive any at all!

so if you adapt that philosophy to social interactions, you gotta keep at it and keep trying in order to get good shit returned to you. If you dont keep at it you wont get any.

Cant just wait around for love to come to you, and you cant just wait around for superconversation either.

word. so yeah im just building on what sage said in that last post but its just hitting me now =D.

I love having breakthroughs the very moment im typing something up. awesome lol.

BudSniffer · 03-17-2011, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercury

Believe it or not I'm not a very talkative person IRL. People, especially girls, always describe me as quiet. "Why are you so quiet?" I get asked a lot. Coworkers, friends of friends, teachers, people I'm not especially close to in general are the most likely to call me quiet or shy. But even my closest friends and family wouldn't call me talkative... because I'm not.

But I can conversate easily and I do enjoy it sometimes. Especially with strangers. For some reason I absolutely love to talk with strangers. I do it tactfully, of course, I ask a lot of questions to be polite. I see it as an exercise in my ability to, well, talk. But I keep it strictly sueprficial. The weather, local politics, the atmosphere; just enough to make a connection.

Then it's back to living in my own head. I'm never outspoken about "important" issues, I absolutely suck at story telling, I don't know any good jokes, I'm not interested in making redudant observations about what I see.

I also think being quiet adds more mystique. People assume I'm deep (and I am!).

However, I do have a slight envy towards the talkative, center of attentions. The radio personality types, you know? They're funny, they get peoples attention, they're experssive, they get shit off their chest. They''re heard! And I can definitely see the attraction in that. When I get drunk i talk a lot more (naturally) and it seems like people enjoy it. Sometimes I even think that when I talked more then people actually LIKE me more. How crazy is that?

But by and large I naturally lean towards quiet. You?

You sound just like myself...on all these points

[/QUOTE] They say silence is golden.

But it seems like if you're not outgoing (read: outspoken) then you don't get very far in this world. Employers never ask for shy, quiet individuals who prefer to keep to themselves in a job description, for example. [/QUOTE]

I agree with you completely.... I am "harassed" all the time on my job. When we have meetings, they say "you need to speak up more, you have good ideas, you just need to come out with them in the group". Our HR lady is LOUD and outgoing and thinks something is wrong if you aren't at least outgoing somewhat. We just had a class/seminar on "Handling Conflict and Confrontation", and they actually said, sometimes people think there is favoritism, but it's actually personality (read outgoing) and just human nature that, that person might be picked for a promotion etc... And as far as being successful, I have been at my job for over 5 years, and more knowledgeable than several other folks that are more talkative, and they have made the promotions and raises....not saying your employment is a key to happiness, but it sure can be a key to your unhappiness...

Also seems when your quiet, folks don't make an effort to get to know you, and then if you happen to get in a conversation with someone and they see how you really are, they are flabbergasted.

**SageTree** · 03-17-2011, 07:46 PM

I can dig it fender. It's cool to see a post form as you type it out for sure. I always think of a plant as the water seeps into the soil

I like all you had to say, thanks for that.
A thought for consideration is 'Could that the giving sometimes BE the receiving?'
Not as it, until it's gone and you're exhausted, but rather moving toward a higher ratio of the giving being that thing you receive which fills your tank back up for more giving.

Hope I catch you chatting tonight.
Cheers
SageTree

AnimalLover420 · 03-17-2011, 08:38 PM

I'm SUPER chatty, bubbly, talkative, etc. unless I don't like you. Then you'll see my quiet side, but my internal dialogue will most likely be going 90 miles per hour because I'm secretly thinking about what a douche you are.

my_scatterheart · 03-17-2011, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geeno

"literate and stylish, kissable and quiet
that's what girls dreams are made of"

I lold. this is your fav line, yes? silly

SmokeaJoint · 03-17-2011, 08:53 PM

I talk alot. As in real life, so online. But most people find me easy to talk with and easy to listen to, so it's never been an issue.

View Poll Results: IRL are you?:
Quiet	21	67.74%
Talkative	10	32.26%
Voters: 31. You may not vote on this poll

03-17-2011, 08:58 AM	#43 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,816 Times in 2,256 Posts	Let my lack of initiative to say much more than this answer the question for you. __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

03-17-2011, 09:26 AM	#44 (permalink)
adventure Adventure its good Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 4,742 Thanks: 1,852 Thanked 1,462 Times in 1,092 Posts	I used to be pretty quite, then I sold cars for a year, and that forced me to talk to people, now i would say im pretty out going, I like talking to people. Im not the guy on a line who starts talking to you, only if i walk to the store drunk __________________ Coming Full Range

03-17-2011, 03:47 PM	#46 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	I usually have to look at the person's face to see if what i am talking about is offesive, if I have pushed the "boundaries" so to speak..I like to talk about..."stuff"... __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme". Last edited by turmaline; 03-17-2011 at 04:10 PM.

03-17-2011, 07:46 PM	#50 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,767 Times in 4,664 Posts	I can dig it fender. It's cool to see a post form as you type it out for sure. I always think of a plant as the water seeps into the soil I like all you had to say, thanks for that. A thought for consideration is 'Could that the giving sometimes BE the receiving?' Not as it, until it's gone and you're exhausted, but rather moving toward a higher ratio of the giving being that thing you receive which fills your tank back up for more giving. Hope I catch you chatting tonight. Cheers SageTree __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

03-17-2011, 08:38 PM	#51 (permalink)
AnimalLover420 Love Junkie Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: US Posts: 2,442 Thanks: 716 Thanked 1,063 Times in 447 Posts	I'm SUPER chatty, bubbly, talkative, etc. unless I don't like you. Then you'll see my quiet side, but my internal dialogue will most likely be going 90 miles per hour because I'm secretly thinking about what a douche you are. __________________ ****************************************

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread: