toilet talk

Dr. ShinDig · 10-12-2010, 03:17 PM

you know what I hate?
is when you have to take a monster piss, so you get into the bathroom and get unzipped. You start to go but wait a minute! Somehow your dick hole is stuck in the middle leaving you with two smaller holes and two streams of piss! The off shoot stream is almost always going right onto your leg or off to the side and on the floor somewhere.

I hate this because it leaves you with a bit of a dilemma...

either you proceed and try to adjust so that both streams are going into the toilet (very hard to do)

or you can brave the sting and/or occasional nustsack cramp to stop and open your hole up.

either way, the shit sucks, it's best to try and remember to just give your head a little pry before you start to pee. Yes it's hard to remember and it's wierd when you're in a public bathroom, but it sure beats having a piss spot on your pants or on your floor... or someone else.

**AlteredStateGrl** · 10-12-2010, 03:22 PM

why does your dick hole get stuck together in the middle?

Parallax · 10-12-2010, 03:25 PM

haha ive had that happen before, im standing there, dick pointed right in the hole, and the stream splits right in two and goes on either side of the bowl. that plus the classic "sideways" piss

**SageTree** · 10-12-2010, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlteredStateGrl

why does your dick hole get stuck together in the middle?

I don't know ASG just the way the morning piss goes. Either that or perhaps some action from the night before

but it happens.

I like to call this dilemma the Missouri Compromise.

Because some times you have to divert when you are comparing it with ole MississiPeePee River....

I won't get into the finer point of why sitting down isn't an option in the AM.

ionlylooklazy · 10-12-2010, 04:07 PM

sometimes ill divert to the shower, since its located ~ 2 feet adjacent

The Rev · 10-12-2010, 07:32 PM

Sit down to pee in the morning. Problem solved.

The Rev

Kompressor · 10-12-2010, 07:33 PM

or man up and clean up after yourself.

aft3rsh0kk · 10-12-2010, 07:37 PM

ill be the one to say it.
its probably from the night before getting off, your peehole is glued together,

shit happens

The Rev · 10-12-2010, 07:38 PM

Spoo gloo.

The Rev

Rubix · 10-12-2010, 08:41 PM

Refrain from tryin to push your cock down when you have an erection, or are semi-erect.

look at this shit. fuckin shitty ass low flow water closets are bogus as hell.

too bad i didn't take a pic of the turd, it was epic. one of those where you push out like 10 plops of goop, preceded by a $5 foot log

wiping scale 1-10, id rate it about a 5, residual shit left on the toilet paper allt he time; then

smell rating was an 8 tho

Being · 10-12-2010, 08:54 PM

**SageTree** · 10-12-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rev

Sit down to pee in the morning. Problem solved.

The Rev

I have trouble managing the renob... what is your tactic?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kompressor

or man up and clean up after yourself.

For real.... did you ever go into a house with a rusty heater next to the toilet..???

The Rev · 10-13-2010, 06:19 AM

In the event of a renob, I just prepare for a water landing... so to speak.

The Rev

adventure · 10-13-2010, 07:10 AM

^ a ball dip? sitting in the morning usually results in pissing between the seat and bowl

**SageTree** · 10-13-2010, 09:08 AM

hahahaha REV that is great!!!

I guess one could also do a squatting down to the bowl if we're getting all acrobatic here.

doobie · 10-13-2010, 12:04 PM

piss in the shower in the morning fixes that problem, plus kills any possiable atheletes feet. I piss on my gfs leg in the shower, she likes that.. but shes not into the whole golden shower during sex or anything. thats disgusting.

Bearsy · 10-13-2010, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doobie

I piss on my gfs leg in the shower, she likes that.. but shes not into the whole golden shower during sex or anything.

You sure about that?

The Rev · 10-13-2010, 12:27 PM

Try dropping a deuce in the shower. See what she says about THAT.

The Rev

Dr. ShinDig · 10-13-2010, 03:01 PM

^^ lol

anyone ever have to vomit in the very toilet you shat in moments earlier? And a good shat I might add.

it sucks

The Rev · 10-13-2010, 03:14 PM

When I was in college, I went out one night and got the shithammer on hard. Well, I get back to the dorm and my head is spinning and I feel like I gotta chuck. So, I get to the bathroom, lean over and lift the lid. Unbeknownst to me, earlier on, the toilet got backed up, and couldn't be flushed, so there were several hours of piss and choco-logs fermenting in the bowl.

Well, when the smell wave hit me (and it hit me with extreme prejudice) my stomach almost turned inside out. I got all that beer, et al, out of me, along with a large percentage of my stomach lining. It was the most brutal hurl of my drinking career.

Yea college!!

The Rev

10-12-2010, 03:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dr. ShinDig seriously skewed Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 892 Thanks: 251 Thanked 232 Times in 168 Posts	toilet talk you know what I hate? is when you have to take a monster piss, so you get into the bathroom and get unzipped. You start to go but wait a minute! Somehow your dick hole is stuck in the middle leaving you with two smaller holes and two streams of piss! The off shoot stream is almost always going right onto your leg or off to the side and on the floor somewhere. I hate this because it leaves you with a bit of a dilemma... either you proceed and try to adjust so that both streams are going into the toilet (very hard to do) or you can brave the sting and/or occasional nustsack cramp to stop and open your hole up. either way, the shit sucks, it's best to try and remember to just give your head a little pry before you start to pee. Yes it's hard to remember and it's wierd when you're in a public bathroom, but it sure beats having a piss spot on your pants or on your floor... or someone else. __________________ Putting the High in "High Quality"

10-12-2010, 03:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
AlteredStateGrl (òÓ,)_\,,/ Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 10,426 Thanks: 2,181 Thanked 1,823 Times in 1,115 Posts	why does your dick hole get stuck together in the middle? __________________ The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.

10-12-2010, 03:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
Parallax Admiral Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,739 Thanks: 160 Thanked 590 Times in 318 Posts	haha ive had that happen before, im standing there, dick pointed right in the hole, and the stream splits right in two and goes on either side of the bowl. that plus the classic "sideways" piss __________________ FUCK THE ROBOTS!!! NUKE THE WHALES!!!

10-12-2010, 07:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,864 Thanks: 5,015 Thanked 5,419 Times in 2,864 Posts	Sit down to pee in the morning. Problem solved. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

10-12-2010, 07:33 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kompressor Voice of Reason Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Illinois Posts: 8,361 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3,069 Times in 1,634 Posts	or man up and clean up after yourself. __________________ Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. -H. Bergson

10-12-2010, 04:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
ionlylooklazy no left turn unstoned Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: washington Posts: 4,045 Thanks: 56 Thanked 559 Times in 292 Posts	sometimes ill divert to the shower, since its located ~ 2 feet adjacent

10-12-2010, 07:38 PM	#9 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,864 Thanks: 5,015 Thanked 5,419 Times in 2,864 Posts	Spoo gloo. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

10-13-2010, 06:19 AM	#13 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,864 Thanks: 5,015 Thanked 5,419 Times in 2,864 Posts	In the event of a renob, I just prepare for a water landing... so to speak. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

10-13-2010, 07:10 AM	#14 (permalink)
adventure Adventure its good Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 4,742 Thanks: 1,852 Thanked 1,464 Times in 1,093 Posts	^ a ball dip? sitting in the morning usually results in pissing between the seat and bowl __________________ Coming Full Range

10-13-2010, 09:08 AM	#15 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,767 Times in 4,664 Posts	hahahaha REV that is great!!! I guess one could also do a squatting down to the bowl if we're getting all acrobatic here. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

10-13-2010, 12:04 PM	#16 (permalink)
doobie Decade Yahookan Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: U.S. Posts: 88 Thanks: 1 Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts	piss in the shower in the morning fixes that problem, plus kills any possiable atheletes feet. I piss on my gfs leg in the shower, she likes that.. but shes not into the whole golden shower during sex or anything. thats disgusting. __________________ U must remember this one thing my friend. You can swim in a red river but you must not drink from a red river.

10-13-2010, 12:27 PM	#18 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,864 Thanks: 5,015 Thanked 5,419 Times in 2,864 Posts	Try dropping a deuce in the shower. See what she says about THAT. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

10-13-2010, 03:01 PM	#19 (permalink)
Dr. ShinDig seriously skewed Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 892 Thanks: 251 Thanked 232 Times in 168 Posts	^^ lol anyone ever have to vomit in the very toilet you shat in moments earlier? And a good shat I might add. it sucks __________________ Putting the High in "High Quality"

10-13-2010, 03:14 PM	#20 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,864 Thanks: 5,015 Thanked 5,419 Times in 2,864 Posts	When I was in college, I went out one night and got the shithammer on hard. Well, I get back to the dorm and my head is spinning and I feel like I gotta chuck. So, I get to the bathroom, lean over and lift the lid. Unbeknownst to me, earlier on, the toilet got backed up, and couldn't be flushed, so there were several hours of piss and choco-logs fermenting in the bowl. Well, when the smell wave hit me (and it hit me with extreme prejudice) my stomach almost turned inside out. I got all that beer, et al, out of me, along with a large percentage of my stomach lining. It was the most brutal hurl of my drinking career. Yea college!! The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread: