ColtEtish

I hate myself for being unable to have the drive to be successful. I hate myself for ruining the brain my extremely talented and intelligent family gave me. I hate myself for trying to blame drugs on my problem. I hate myself because I know drugs helped destroy part of who I could have become. I hate myself because I know it is still possible to change, but I know I will not.

I hate myself for starting this new paragraph. I hate myself for poor grammar...I hate myself for ruining every real relationship that ever mattered to me, and burning every bridge. I hate that I do not have the strength to end my worthless existence. I hate being such a waste of resources. I hate the fact that I am not clever enough to change the structure of EVERY thought.

If you can't tell I'm not my biggest fan in life. What I fail to understand is why it seems so many people care about me. I don't feel like I deserve any of this. I am not just a product of my genetics...I am my responsibility. My choices have contributed to most of who I am today. I am a product of the choices I made since I began to think for myself. Why have I continuously made these poor choices? That I cannot quite articulate in words. Somehow I must have developed a self destructive personality.

I don't deserve the love of others for this very reason. I am a failure and it is my fault. If I can't care enough about myself, why would anyone want to care about me? Honestly I think those who care the most for me are the most ignorant and blind...they are stupid and really need to re-evaluate their relationship with me.

To be fair to most, they tend to figure it out with time. When people really get to know me it only takes a few years to end the relationship.

Well I guess I can continue this later when I have a little more focus and a little less vodka. Do not think it is just the alcohol talking...I really feel this way. I have much more to say about who I am as a person, and most of it is not positive. I actually won't continue now that I think about it, I doubt most of you want to hear it.



Anyways I just realized how much I pity myself. It makes it even easier to hate myself. ANYWAYS I apologize for wasting your time with this pity party...yet I still admit that I feel some strong desire to post this. I understand it is somewhat hypocritical to say I'm sorry and still post this, but I suppose I wanted the attention.

P.S. I hate being such a pussy...one of these days it might drive me to do something extreme. Unfortunately some person was already dubbed "The happy face killer"

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osirus2020

Merry Christmas.

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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

Geeno

tl;dr

get over it

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kamikazi89

yea, the sooner the better

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katie west is the best

Waves

hate is such a strong word

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

Lloydy

Get over yourself you miserable cunt. Merry Christmas.

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Keep the red flag flying high

kamikazi89

good luck detoxing

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katie west is the best

ColtEtish

It's tough to like yourself when you have not felt positive emotion towards yourself in along time. Most of the time I have always despised myself or just felt pity for myself...great combination to turn something into a whiny little bitch

Merry christmas

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HTAM

That's the voice that gets you to escape, saying 'Come on let's go get high for a while and you can come back and deal with this shit later.'

Hang in there, and try to ignore it.

Roach

because they/we can see potenial thru all the drug bullshit ?

nah, it's probably your large manly cock they all crave.

merry xmas

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לזיין את הקופים

Sir-Ex

Just try to build yourself up in a modest sort of way. Don't try to suddenly be the king shit, just take steps and congradulate yourself for what you are doing, and eventually you'll be able to take on greater things, greater attributes and ambitions.

It's like flexing a muscle. Your 'care about yourself' muscle is just weak and flabby like gravy on an undercooked turkey tendon.



Try not drinking too.

I might get some flak for suggesting that one, but if you're a cry baby piece of shit, it can help.

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Smile

Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

Roach

I couldn't possibly hate myself as much as I hate you.






just kidding....somebody had to do it.

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לזיין את הקופים

Debaser

Pro Tip:

Start with redefining "success".

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Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?

Message CM47: Let's go pay some hookers to knock our junk around.

John F. Kerry

.... dont mind if i do

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Nasa under Obama

John F. Kerry

i feel for u too bro , wish u the best. drug addiction sucks for sho.

but on a semi upbeat note i was perusing youtube and thought this video was quite pertinent.

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Nasa under Obama

farmergiles

Lol go with the flow and get some self respect.

It's hard sometimes.

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

The Rev

If you do not choose your burdens in life, then why condemn yourself for them? Hate your problems, not your self.



The Rev

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José

I'm not sure if I'm understanding correctly.

Do I hate myself as much as I hate you? Or do I hate myself as much as you hate yourself?


well maybe this is the root of your problems... stop underestimating yourself and shit might start getting better for you.

like warren buffet said, you had a 1/30 chance of being born a white male in the united states, don't take it for granted.

~1~

If at first you don't succeed...







Aim a little lower.

You don't have to be successful to be a success at life homie, if you can get through without it eating you up and spitting you out like so much gristle, you've done well. If you can come out a little higher on the food chain, more power to ya, but every day you make it to the end without chucking the belt over the rod in the closet is another success.

They're fucking serious when they say 'one day at a time', cliché and trite but serious.

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my_scatterheart

I don't know you bro, so I'm not going to tell you what to change about your life, or how to feel. It's not my place. But here's what I will say..
Maybe you don't deserve it. Maybe none of us do. But maybe it's just a gift, the whole lot of it. So accept it graciously.
Sometimes that's all you can do.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega