Parallax

so im going to the store to get some booze. everything goes as planned until i get carded by the cashier. luckily i have my trusty expired g1 learner's driver's license in my possession which i've been buying booze and smokes with for the past three or four years (i dont drive and i sure as hell am not paying whatever the fee is to renew a license that im not even going to use). i present it to the cashier, who denies it on the grounds of "its expired, not valid, sorry". after trying fruitlessly to argue that although expired, the id still confirms my identity based on the fact that my picture, date of birth and all the appropriate security features are present on the card, i had no choice but to return empty handed.

after a long bicycle journey through 3 feet of snow, ice, a blizzard, close encounters with bears, wolves, and bandits, i retrieved my health card, my ssn, citizenship card, and my passport from my dwelling 6 kilometers away and went back to the store to get what is rightfully mine.

this time i was served by a different clerk who took a slight glance at my expired g1 and i was on my merry way.

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FUCK THE ROBOTS!!!
NUKE THE WHALES!!!

Mikey

bummer.

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RIP Gov

Qui-Bong Jinn

Cool story, bro.

farmergiles

Grow a beard.

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

Dr. ShinDig

I had similar shit once. Lost my wallet for a few days and therefore had no ID. I had my old license from being a minor but it had a hole punched in it thus rendering it as invalid. I went around to like 3 places and was turned down by each, finally I stopped by a gas station I frequent and the cashier recognized me. Shit sucks though

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Man in Black

yeah my ID had only been expired for a couple of days and this bitch at Kroger's wouldnt sell me beer. needless to say I didnt give that store any business for a long time.

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When I was arrested I was dressed in black.

farmergiles

Do consider- as your chance of getting served increase your chance of getting laid decrease.

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

Man in Black

possibly, not sure what you mean exactly tho

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When I was arrested I was dressed in black.

farmergiles

When you're older you always get served. It's harder to get laid though.

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

Man in Black

ahhh gotcha. and yeah that's probably about right.

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When I was arrested I was dressed in black.

Roach

I got "carded" only once in my life.

down in a parkersburg west virginia 7/11, new clerk, and I didn't have my license with me, and no she didn't serve me. I was 45 and looked it.

walked two blocks down the street to a bar, and had no problem.

some people are born stupid.
some need to work at it.

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לזיין את הקופים

Geeno

i lold a bit

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Waves

lol reminds me so much of gettin booze as a youngin here in the suburbs, land of 100 liquor stores per town

its the same rush as gambling, got pretty addictive. i actually got to the point where i was just walking into the supermarket and grabbing bottles off the shelf and putting them into my backpack.

one time they saw me but im quick so i saw them see me and put the bottle back on the shelf. the clerk got the manager who asked to look through my bag. he was like "we have people try this shit all the time" and im like "yeah those bastards huh" and he had to let me go.

that is the kind of shit kids do for kicks in the burbs. we roll dirty.

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

Rubix

that is fucking bogus, man. sounds like a rough life durring the "blizzzard"

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OldMan&TheWeed

Happens to me all the time.












































































I fucking wish.

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.

K10

haha....we used to do that shit all the time. I got pretty bold about it after a while so we would just put like 5 or 6 bottles of booze in a shopping cart and just walk out the back automotive service door at the super walmart complete with free food from the deli.

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Just because you tie dye your wool, doesn't mean
you're not a sheep.
R.I.P. Alice D.

Waves

haha never tried a wal-mart. i didnt even know they had liquor. damn.

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

Puffman

i hate id nazis. i as well know all too well the pains of not having a drivers license. when i turned legal drinking age i relied primarily on my passport and health card, both perfectly valid photo-identification. but when i go out drinking i don't really like taking my passport out with me for fear of loosing it, so i usually just had my health card.

many of the doormen at the bars we frequented continually claimed they couldn't legally accept health cards, which was blatantly false (i could even reference the statutory code for them). the law clearly stated that while they could not request to see my health card, i could voluntarily show them as a means of identification. both the beerstore and LCBO understood this and readily accepted health cards.

unfortunately, it is near impossible to change the mind of your average bouncer meathead, and speaking to the manager was useless as they were the ones who came up this nonsense. it is so frustrating knowing that you are right while trying to argue with ignorant morons.

now, years later, i have a drivers license, and of course successfully use my health card as id all the time. so they seem to have finally realized the error of their ways.

HTAM

Stake it out first.

All the Walmarts in Denver had a lock that was released by someone behind the counter in Automotive. Even the one up here in Chez Whitey has one of those set up.

Unless you want to make YouTube as the guy who knocks himself out trying to run a shopping cart through a locked door, of course.

Qui-Bong Jinn

Man, I get I.D'd all the time, mostly because I look like I'm 16