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Old 01-27-2011, 08:02 PM   #61 (permalink)
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My uncle knew the unabomber as well
that's the most hipster thing you've said since you went hipster.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:08 PM   #62 (permalink)
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when i met him i realized if he wasn't good at hockey, hes so fucking dumb and dull he would probably be living under a bridge somewhere.
i wish i was so dumb and good at sports that i got an honorary degree from a university
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Old 01-28-2011, 08:13 AM   #63 (permalink)
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Old 01-28-2011, 08:55 AM   #64 (permalink)
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i wish i was so dumb and good at sports that i got an honorary degree from a university
seriously, even without a highschool degree.
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Old 01-28-2011, 05:52 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Got to escort Dave Chappelle to his limo right after his first stand up show after his famous trip to Africa. Got to talk about the Block Party movie that was about to come out and walk thru the snowy streets of Denver w him. Was a real cool laid back guy. Then right when he was about to get in his limo he decided he wanted to go check out a club next door and asked me to walk him over there. So we get in the club and I ask him if hes good, aka do I need to stand at the front like a tool or not. He says nah man Ill be right back, hang on and jets to the back of the club. I wait up front for about 15 mins and said fuck it and boogied. Of course when I get back to work after being gone for 20 minutes and people knowing my habits everyone thinks I was burning js with Dave Chappelle. Nope just sitting at the front of a club looking like a tool. Still a great memory....

At the same job I got to meet Tommy Chong, Bob Saget, Kevin Pollack, Robert Schimmel(rip), played Madden with Gabriel Iglesias, hung out many times with Josh Blue, John Elway, Joe "toolbag" Rogan, Lisa Lampanelli, and some more. Fun times....
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Old 01-28-2011, 06:33 PM   #66 (permalink)
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^^ Hell yeah dude that sounds like a pretty badass job!

If I ever met Dave Chappelle I would have to imitate that "white guy" voice impression that he does. Just to fuck with him a little bit - like "DAVE I THINK IT WOULD BE BEST IF I ACCOMPINIED YOU INSIDE"
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Old 01-28-2011, 08:11 PM   #67 (permalink)
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nahh man....nah u dint aconplish shit...also i aad sex with your wife...blame it ont on elway
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Quote:
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Jimmy analyzing (albeit obviously not a 100% analysis; impossible on this medium) in a way that leads ki11a to face up to who he really is, is a type of indirect 'attack' that shit-flinging insults dream of being.
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Old 01-28-2011, 09:49 PM   #68 (permalink)
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If I met dave chapelle I'd tell him he practically put the joint in my mouth as a 14 year old lad watching half baked.
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Old 01-30-2011, 01:28 PM   #69 (permalink)
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Bo Gritz (surviavalist whackjob) at a grocery store and a gas station in the same week. He asked what was the best kind of cake the bakery at the grocery made. Carrot.

Mick Foley. Super Nice
Raven, the same night. Super Rude.
Matt Borne (Doink the Clown) several times. I have a picture of him holding a handmade "Doink 3:16" sign.
Roddy Piper. Weirdly nice. It was at a show at a casino in northern Idaho. He did a meet and greet afterwards and the line was a mile long. With a ton of people behind us. We figured get in, get the Polaroid and get out. My buddy wishes him good luck in his lawsuit with WCW. So he starts chitchatting with us. Where we work, where we're from...I keep looking at this 200 foot line behind us and getting uncomfortable. But he just keeps chatting. Ends up giving us each his card. It was really weird. Oh, he'd also broken his hand, so he had a ziplock full of ice taped to his hand. Didn't stop him from doing shitloads of autographs.
The Bushwhackers. We had them autograph the Polaroid "New Zealand Sheepherders". They both appreciated that we knew a bit of their history.

A lot of guys from Portland, Ore. wrestling who went on to bigger things: Stan Stasiak (former WWF World Champion). Jimmy Snuka, Billy Jack Haynes (real prick), Curt Hennig, Buddy Rose (nicest guy in the world), Hangman Bobby Jaggers.

Manson prosecutor Vince Bugliosi at a uni. speaking engagement.
William F. Buckley at a uni. speech.
Hillary Clinton at a campaign stop. She's really short. I shook her hand kind of lightly and she thanked me because so many people try to have a "firm" handshake. After a hundred or so people it starts to really hurt.
One of Fred Phelps' daughters at Seattle Hempfest. Apparently I'm going to Hell and God hates fags.

Nina Hartley a couple of times.
Vanessa Del Rio ground her ass into my crotch quite nicely at the grand opening of some new dirty book store across the street from Pike Market. Told her in my best creepy raincoater voice that I loved her anal work. She didn't even blink.

My sister worked for a record company in Seattle during the 70's, so I got to see almost every band that came through, and got to go backstage for a few. Bay City Rollers (stop laughing, I was like 10). KISS in 77, 78 and 79. Ted Nugent. Bob Seger.
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Old 01-30-2011, 02:52 PM   #70 (permalink)
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Ive met countless rappers

But I told Method Man my life story, and that was one of my favorite moments.

Also I told Brother Ali to drive safe, and he was dumbfounded and told me to drive safe in return.

Kinda like when someone catches you offguard and says whats up and you can only reply whats up.
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Old 01-30-2011, 02:59 PM   #71 (permalink)
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u just mad cause spanky got the drop on you
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i've struck the absolute perfect balance between gay and smart
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Old 01-30-2011, 03:56 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Also I told Brother Ali to drive safe, and he was dumbfounded and told me to drive safe in return.

Kinda like when someone catches you offguard and says whats up and you can only reply whats up.
I kind of have a pat answer for store clerks at the end of the transaction. They usually say "have a nice day" or "take care". So on the tip of my tongue I'm ready to say "thanks...you too". Sometimes they double cross me and say "come back soon" or something. And my mind is already in gear and I say "thanks...you too". Just did it like 10 minutes ago at the grocery store. I still feel like a dipshit.
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Old 01-30-2011, 06:19 PM   #73 (permalink)
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Yeah i pwned a lyrical genius with that shit.
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i've struck the absolute perfect balance between gay and smart
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Old 01-30-2011, 11:32 PM   #74 (permalink)
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or told a guy who doesn't drive to drive safe....
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Old 01-31-2011, 06:54 AM   #75 (permalink)
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!!!
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