OldMan&TheWeed

I don't know if I'm the only one in this boat here, but I've got a 17 year old daughter, and I worry about her. Because of this I've been monitoring her texts (phone numbers only), email (everything, since I set it up for her), Facebook (set it up too), plus she shares EVERYTHING with me anyways (almost) in a way I could have never done with either of my parents.

What have I learned that she didn't tell me anyway (in almost real time no less?) Well, I leaned that in spite of her beauty, the guys in her life have been real terds. One guy hyper affectionate in public --yeah I wait outside the cinema (at least I don't go in) and mediocre in looks at best (fat), wrote rude things about her on his Facebook wall after dating her for a month last December. She hasn't seen anyone else since, even though guys are always approaching her at work, while others from school always text.

She says when she turns 18 she'll start to date the manager where she works (he's 28). She believes that older mature guys in there late twenties. Maybe she's right. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure is that when I was 16, 17 years old, I would never be rude to a girl, especially a pretty one without whom I have no girl at all.

There's been a fad in this country for about ten years that displays itself in music lyrics, video games etc. that celebrates the disrespect of women. The pale pudgy kid in question was an aficionado of urban-themed video games (GTA) and gangster rap (which he looked ridiculous listening to). I should have warned her away from him when I saw this, but it would have had no effect. But I feel this fad is unfortunate for everyone involved. This is unfortunate for the young lady who is attached at time of emotional vulnerability, and it carries it's own punishment for the guy, who is now left without female companionship.

I don't blame the music or video games. I don't believe that people are influenced by them as much as they tend to gravitate to these things because they validate and reinforce attitudes already present.

For example: Reggae doesn't make me smoke weed, rather Reggae validates and reinforces attitudes about marijuana that I have already accepted.

It is this sad Tom Leykis attitude rather that troubles me. I don't see this fad which is accepted by otherwise decent guys as surviving long, because in the end it's self destructive.


Any thoughts?

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.

Dr. ShinDig

She wants to date the manager where she currently works? Fuck man I wouldn't be surprised if something is already going on there and they're just waiting to come out with it. Maybe you should spy on her at work instead.

I mean that in the most respectful way

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my_scatterheart

Girls are worse.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

OldMan&TheWeed

I'm already on it.

According to his emails, he's waiting for her birthday. I respect this. He's got his head on straight.

As far as texting, the only messages from his phone come in once a week like clockwork. It's her work schedule. No voice, ever. Just some saucy emails.

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.

my_scatterheart

ps she's 17 and you're reading her emails and texts?

Sorry, but that's fucking weird.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

Xil

ya man that pretty bad.

thats like following your kid around and eavesdropping on them

im really surprised what scatter said wasnt the first reply

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Geeno

I'd be happy to date your daughter. I'm pretty responsible.

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osirus2020

Yeah man that's fucked.

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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

The Rev

Kids of both sexes are pretty awful, but you gotta wonder about a 28-year old guy waiting for a high school girl to become legal so he can hit it. My daughter had one of those following her around, too. He was married and had a kid, but the marriage was falling apart. I never thought something was going on then, but now, I'm not so sure. I'm glad he's far away from me now.



The Rev

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OldMan&TheWeed

Fuck You!






















Sorry, it's reflexive.

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.

Jimmycube

I dunno man there is something really creepy about a 28 year old man waiting one more year to date your daughter...i mean basically what he is saying is i want to legally fuck your daughter.

Some guys are immature their entire lives... i know guys who are in their late 30s that act like strait 15 year old boys. Then again I have two nephews who are 15 and they are extremely emotionally intelligent for their age. I think it almost depends on the person really.

u know....i have a young daughter so luckily i dont have to worry about the dating thing just yet but man i kinda hope she turns out to be a lesbian.

and the 28 year old dude waiting for your daughter...again...t hats just mad strange to me. I hope u get to know him at least a lil bit before this happens.

i just turned 30 on sunday so i am not to far removed from 28 and i gotta say....i would feel pretty fuckin strange if i was waiting for my 17 year old GF to turn 18 so i can fuck her. Man can u imagine picking up your girlfriend from high school when your 28 years old?

tell her that when she turns 18 she will be going to college...and meeting a ton more immature guys but she may find that one who is actually half way decent.

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

myxomatosis

So your daughter picked some fat kid that happened to be a shithead and from that and possibly a few other instances (which you likely gleaned through this creepy thing with reading all forms of her communication) you have applied such traits to youth as a whole and drawn parallels with the pop culture of the day? Welcome to being a crotchety old man.

Also, out of curiosity, does she know you are monitoring her like that?

And yeah, being cool with the creepy 30 year old manager that wants to bang your 17 year old daughter because he's "got his head on straight" waiting till she's 18? Fuckin weird. I mean I get that age is just age and situations and blah blah blah, but to me where I am now and in my hypothetical father view, I just can't imagine thinking that's kosher.

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Jimmycube

i can vouch for that...u should give geeno her number.
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oh man i just read the part ware u say u are reading your own daughters "saucy" emails....i almost puked a lil bit

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

OldMan&TheWeed

Naw, only her emails.

The phone company charges if I want to read MY texts.

They're mine because it's MY phone. I paid close to 400 for it, plus the fifty bucks per month I pay for service, provided there are no overages.

As far as it being "fucking weird," that I keep tabs on my child (that's right, she's still a minor) it's my job to know what's happening and to keep her safe as best I can. The real price I pay is not being able to take direct action for any of the minor shit (smoking weed, normal teenage dating stuff). What it has allowed me to do is prevent a potentially dangerous situation from developing.

Back when she was 15 some 27 year-old in the neighborhood was texting and emailing her. It was like "To Catch a Predator" or something. I didn't call the cops, I didn't even talk to my daughter. I just printed out the emails, walked over to his house, knocked on his door, and handed them to his wife (he wasn't home at the time).

He lost interest in her after that.

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.

Xil

sounds like a bit of rationalization man. its still pretty fucked up.

privacy is important, even if the person is a 'kid'

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OldMan&TheWeed

When she turns 18, it will cease to be any of my business. We've agreed that at 18 the phone goes in her name, and I'll be done.

What's truly creepy for me has been being exposed to too much information. I look at my daughter and I see her as she was, as a little girl. First day of kindergarden, birthday parties, weekend outings to the zoo and museum. I still see her that way, so It has troubled me -- it's painful-- to have to look boy friend of hers in the face and know everything.

But it's better than ignorance, helplessness, or denial.

She's coming out okay, and that is all that I give a shit about.

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.

Xil

ignorance bliss man. im not gonns post again in here because, frankly, its not my place to tell you how to raise your kids. im not in your shoes and i dont even have a kid.

all im gonna say is that when she is no longer a 'child' you should really stop, for your own sake. lets say she ends up going to college...you REALLY dont wanna know everything she's doing. and if she finds out you've violated her trust in this way it could really fucking backfire.

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John F. Kerry

hmmm interesting topic old man thanks for sharing.

i dont know exactly what i think about this, but its cool that we have such a diverse group of memebers on here

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OldMan&TheWeed

It's not only my daughter that I monitor, it's my boys as well. The result?

Well, I stopped my 15 year old son from teasing some other kid via texting (a potential felony in this state). And I stopped my then 18 year old son from sending pics and openly discussing weed. Something that could lead to an arrest.

When I discuss how I've monitored my kids with other parents, the ONLY response I've ever gotten has been, "Show us how."

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.

OldMan&TheWeed

"Get off my fucking lawn or I'm calling the cops!" I yell before going back inside for another bong rip of my medicine.


But seriously, read the end of my first post.

Art is largely a reflection of what's already there, inside society and inside individuals.

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Nintey-three percent of what I say is brilliant, factual information and seven percent is complete bullshit. Have fun deciding which is which.