turmaline

The kind that make you want to put a bullet through your head by the end of the day....I work in a beautiful environment with a girl whom I am starting to believe is somewhat "ssssssss lllllll oooooo wwwww" in the best monotone non emotionl impression I can do I hear these things everyday whixch makes a long day evebn longer..picture the professor from "Ferris Buellers Day Off" for example..

_"Yesterday I was out shopping for ice cube traYS and I couldn't find any anywhere...then I went to two other stores and still no ice cube trays..I finally found some at Walmart for 50% off"
Yesterday she shows me her grocery list...
_"Look at thes ants..they are carrying the any larvee they must be relocating them to a different location" this topic comes up everytime she sees ants.
_"Look at this worm..can you imagine if this worm broke through an ants home and they were having lunch and he said Hi I'm a worm and I'm just passing through.."

She is also a volunteer firefighter so it is constant "fire" talk about calls etc..

I think I'm going to stab myself with my own weeding shiv sooner than later...

and or take her for a walk with a shovel a bag of lime and a fast growing tree..all at my disposal.

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"I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

shai_hulud

I detest, loath, fucking despise the warehouse manager. He is an incompetent, whiny shell of a man and I swear to god I will find a for real bag of dicks, and stuff that for real bag of dicks down his cock mongering throat.

For explanation sake, I'm inside sales so I don't work under him. 1 extra large bag of dicks coming up. Swear to god.

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"There are only three useless things in this world. Nuns' nipples, bishops' balls and an employer's praise without a raise."

Roach

get her to try some acid

Kishar

there's a guy where I work who's annoying every time he talks to you he's gotta stand 6 inches away and talks so damn loud and when you're telling a story he always finishes the last word of my sentence...i fucking hate it.....I'll be like, "I walked down to the store" and he says, "store" at the same time as me...fucking asshole.

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Those Americans who believed that we could live under the illusion of isolationism wanted the American eagle to imitate the tactics of the ostrich. Now, many of those same people, afraid that we may be sticking our necks out, want our national bird to be turned into a turtle. But we prefer to retain the eagle as it is--flying high and striking hard. "FDR"

fenderbender

I just got a job for the first time in a longggg time.

I work at a burrito place and and there is at least 6 SMOKING HOTT girls working there Plus my girlfriend who is also a total babe.


the girlfriend thing is kinda killin my mojo though lol... :/


but yeah everyone that works there is fucking chill as hell even the boss. Im pretty stoked to have the yob.

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Imagine there's no heaven,It's easy if you try

<3

shai_hulud

That would drive me fucking mad. good luck with that, yo

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"There are only three useless things in this world. Nuns' nipples, bishops' balls and an employer's praise without a raise."

The Rev

At the last place I worked, the boss was given to fits of rage, my two office mates gossiped about me and told the boss everything I said, whenever I complained about anything, people were fucking in the storage room on night shifts and giving each other crabs, the human resources manager would tell the boss everything you said to her in confidence, people routinely stole each others stuff (including their lunches), and the department managers were in a constant state of conflict because the company president refused to deal with any situation which required him to experience confrontation.

And people wonder why I drag my feet about getting another job.



The Rev

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shai_hulud

^Jesus man, that is utter shit... I will consider myself lucky henceforth... (which I have and do anyways but, ugh.)

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"There are only three useless things in this world. Nuns' nipples, bishops' balls and an employer's praise without a raise."

Man in Black

never seen so much backstabbing in such a business.

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When I was arrested I was dressed in black.

Parallax

My coworkers suck:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

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FUCK THE ROBOTS!!!
NUKE THE WHALES!!!

Xil

i guess i'm kinda lucky b/c my friends got me a job at their work. its alright but the bosses are cunts and the small-talk with everyone else is boring. can't blame em though, i'm sure their friends like them, and they probably wouldn't choose to be around me either. so i just act civil, preferably stoned, and try to see the best in them.

except the bosses. they are baby-eating devil-spawn with a god complex.

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The Don

I work hard, and as such I hate seeing slaggers. I rage when people don't work up to my standards. WHich aren't that high btw.

eldizle

I work with a bunch of lazy fucks. Literally, I take in more than a third of the store's income between five other cashiers. Yes we have other duties around the store than the cash register, but you have to take care of the registers.

Between the high school aged girls and their chirping, the senile old ladies, the bitchy black girl, and a manager who won't answer the office phone a half dozen times for $5's until my line locks up and I have to page her to the front of the store, whereupon she fusses at me for not calling her earlier...

...i have to smoke my herbal blend on my breaks.


but they're really just the bad ones, although they're about two thirds. the other third are decent human beings who make it possible for me to continue to return to work day after day.

I'm thinking about getting into something like waiting tables, where I get more money for working harder/better. Getting payed the same/less as these fucks that have scammed a cushy retail job they don't have to work hard at is very disheartening.

but i'm looking at it for what it is-a step. i wasn't working before, and now I am, and I am now eminently more qualified for employment than I was looking for work unemployed.

Little steps.

I want to apprentice in some kind of trade, where I rely on myself to do the work and don't have to do the work of three other slackers.

Geeno

Thats what I do with refrigeration. Working out pretty good. Besides my newly bum shoulder from trying to hurry a cooler with reinforced ceiling panels. Next time I'm not going to do that without a fork lift.

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Jimmycube

i like my coworkers....just good young people trying to get there's.

the owner of the company i work for is super kewl too....he just shows up at random really drunk and trys to get me to date his daughter...even though he knows i am married.

good guy

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

Kishar

there was this one guy that used to work with us, Dino was his name.This dude thought he was a comedian and every break we'd all be out at the picnic table smoking and everyday he had a joke, thing is they were never funny whatsoever or they were so old you done heard it fifty times. when it came time for the punchline no one would ever laugh or if they did you could tell it was a sympathy laugh. I'd always just look down and shake my head thinking, damn this dudes an idiot.

__________________
Those Americans who believed that we could live under the illusion of isolationism wanted the American eagle to imitate the tactics of the ostrich. Now, many of those same people, afraid that we may be sticking our necks out, want our national bird to be turned into a turtle. But we prefer to retain the eagle as it is--flying high and striking hard. "FDR"

reggiedrugs

When I used to be a dishwasher at a big ass restaurant. There were two groups of dishwashers. Highschool stoners and Highschool dropout stoners. My friend was always paired up with all the drop outs who all worked really hard. I was always paired up with the kids in highschool who never did shit and I had to carry their work load the entire time. Then slowly but surely all the cooks and waitresses got us to do all the shit jobs (clean washroom, shovel snow, mow grass) while the dishes were piling up which got annoying. That's the job that caused me to start smoking.

The gas station I work at now there's no highschoolers thank god and everyone is super chill and does their work. There was one guy who was in the washroom smoking meth every couple hours who got really outta of hand sometimes but he quit. Even him I didn't mind that much compared to my co workers at the restaurant.

Rubix

at my pizza delivery job i work with a manger who is an alchy so he don't give a shit too much. smokes in the office even tho he keeps getting threatened with 1000 fine

other than the one highschooler insider that acts douchey and retarded customers its good.

At my primary job, I have to deal with a 35 y/o Kenyan that won't stop flapping her jaw and she'll talk back to me when im just doing my job but i just go back to my desk and read the yahooka

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mothernature

My boss is a bully, a blamer and a he-man-woman-hater. At first it was hard and I shoulda quit. Now that I know how he is, I just play the 'cover your ass' game. About a month ago, he tried to give me a write-up for something, someone else did. I refused to sign it and cussed him out. No shit.

I wouldn't recommend that normally, but I have been there 11 years and he's a big pussy, just like most bullies.

He's a terrible boss, but the company loves him. He knows how to make them money.

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Sometimes sleep is the best revenge- Luke

Jester4yall

My co-workers are pretty chill for the most part. I work with one asshole tho. He'll look in right in the eye as your walking down the hallway but not say a word. I'll say hey dood still nothing ever more than a hi back. Maybe it's just me.

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In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt