Jester4yall

Best one yet I called people to tell them. AWESOME

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In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

Sir-Ex

A priest walks into a bar.



Guy nearby says, 'you should watch where you're going.'

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Smile

Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

mothernature

Why did the chicken cross half the road?


She wanted to lay it on the line.

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Sometimes sleep is the best revenge- Luke

SageTree

Pirate is selling corn by the side of the road.
Guy stops and asks him 'how much is the corn?'




























Pirate says 'rrrrrrrrgh! it be a buck an ear!'







































okay... now another.....














































What did the Father Buffalo say to his Son when he was off to school for the day?






























































'BYE-SON!!!! Have a good day!!!!'





















kekekekekekekekekeke kekeharharharharharh arharhar

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Jester4yall

Two baseball players promised each other. If one of them died first, he will come back as a ghost to tell if there was baseball in heaven.

So one of them dies and comes back as a ghost and says, 'I have some good news and some bad news.'

Then the other person says, 'tell me.'

So he says, 'The good news is there is baseball in heaven, but the bad news is that you are pitching tomorrow.'

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In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

Sir-Ex

A hooded figure walks into a bar. Bartender says "Jesus, I ain't never seen a clitoris with legs before!"

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Smile

Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

Buds Bundy

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch???????












NAMES!!!!!

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Beautiful British Columbia: Home of the Greenest Trees and the Furriest Beavers

Buds Bundy

my ex girlfriend used to have a weird fetish
she would dress up as herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time

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Beautiful British Columbia: Home of the Greenest Trees and the Furriest Beavers

mothernature

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?









2nd base.

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Sometimes sleep is the best revenge- Luke

Buds Bundy

what is bruce lee's favorite drink???


WAT-AAAHHH!

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Beautiful British Columbia: Home of the Greenest Trees and the Furriest Beavers

HTAM

A one legged man comes into a Tap House, and the bartender says, "Hey! I bet you like hops!"

OverDriv3nMe

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
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To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a
pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but
decided to go home instead.

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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and
"ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is mankind.
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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
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Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.




All credit to Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts" of course

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Anything written, posted, or otherwise in my name is purely a work of fiction. I enjoy roleplaying a marijuana enthusiast purely fictionally.

Jester4yall

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In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

Parallax

According to a recent survey, nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape

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FUCK THE ROBOTS!!!
NUKE THE WHALES!!!

~1~

A neutron walks into a bar and says 'How much for a beer?'


Bartender says 'For you, no charge...'

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HTAM

I have good timing and knowing when to hit someone with the joke helps, but I told this joke 5 times last night, and every time, people busted up and said they didn't even see the punch line coming.

NOT stupid. Champion.