Mercury

More and more I'm finding myself fascinated with the idea of having children. I'm at an age right now where it's not uncommon to have a kid or two at all and yet I have none, but that is not uncommon either. The thing is you only have a limited time to be a 'young dad'.

My parents were 19 when they had me and their in their mid 40's now. I can't imagine them being in their mid 50's or even 60's. So that's why I want to be on the younger side when I have children.

But I'm getting a little off track...

I see how parenthood is so prominant all over the world and I'm starting to feel left out. And the parents all seem so connected and so full of joy, too. It's almost as if no matter who you are, once you have a child you are a better person for it.

I don't know how to explain it but the difference between not having children and having children seems like this other level that the people who don't have children can't possibly understand. But of course the people who do have children know what it was like to not have children too, so they have this advantage over the have not's.

I dunno. But I just know that I want one now.

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Geeno

people that have children are all involved in a conspiracy to make everyone else think that its cool

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Mercury

Ha... well it's working. Especially in the media which is dominated with commercials and news stories and programming that are geared towards parents and families and it all goes so far over my head that I start to wonder if I'm out of touch with what it means to be human; to have a family of my own like everyone else in history. And yet it seems like such an insane, major step to take. Of course, that's probably what it is supposed to feel like to everyone. It just blows my mind.

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The Rev

I love my granddaughter, but I couldn't do the "taking care of a baby" thing 24/7 the way my daughter and son-in-law do. That's a lot of work, on very little sleep. Having kids means, basically, that your life doesn't belong to you anymore, and never fully will again.



The Rev

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kitch

There was some study recently that found that people with kids were a lot less happy than people without. Also its probably better for the world to have a smaller population. Its up to you but I think you'll have to cut out the skinny jeans for a few months before there'll be any lead in your pencil.

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Mercury

It's so fucking confusing then...

People with kids are always, ALWAYS telling me "don't have kids, enjoy your life, you can't turn abck" blah blah blah and then they'll turn around and say that their children are the best thing that ever happened to them and they never knew love could be this strong and they wouldn't trade it for the world...


it's like wtf ppl? is it great or is it not great?

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kitch

The people who can successfully delude themselves are always happier than the ones who can't. I'm sure there are tons of times its great to have kids and if you never do you'll probably regret it when you're old and have no one to come visit you.

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Jimmycube

i dunno...its one of those things dude...if u are thinking it might be neat to have a kid. Dont. If u want a kid fuckin bad...go for it.

i dunno my wife and kid saved my life so that kinda says something.

but its really not a question anybody can answer for u. Its not a opinion type of thing. U gotta remember those lil bastards are a contract u cant break so....u better know what u want and are getting into before u even consider the option.

posting a thread asking for opinions on the subject tells me u should prob hold off man. *no sarcasm*

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

Mafoo

i dont care what you do, but please dont have more than 2 kids. the population is out of control.

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

Geeno

Kids and families are profitable to corporations, that's why the idea is sold to you through media.

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Mercury

well this brings to mind the fact that many babies are unplanned in the first place which make me even more fascinated with the notion that people can bless themselvs by accident as if they're just GOING WITH THE FLOW. and here i am doing things on purpose. who is the fool?

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AnimalLover420

This has been a hot topic for me lately. It's fucking ridiculous actually, and I'm more than a little freaked out by it. I was never one of those chicks who walked around all baby-hungry since the onset of womanhood. In fact, I didn't want them at all until the past few years. I'm good with kids, my husband and I work really well together, and we both see eye to eye on the idea of putting effort into raising a human being rather than just popping them out left and right with no regard for what we teach them like so many parents do. So a few years ago, we come to the conclusion that we'll eventually have one kid (and only one, due to population issues mentioned earlier in the thread). We come to the agreement that there's no rush, women aren't really at risk of having difficult pregnancies until 35, and we decide to wait til I'm 30 and go for it then.

I'm 27 now, and sometimes my body literally takes over my mind and gets all like "get some baby in you RIGHT NAO, WOMAN!". It's slightly terrifying to know that I'm just a breeding animal, a slave to nature, no matter how much I like to think I'm a logical human being. It seems like everyone I know is knocked up, and when I'm being reasonable, I don't envy the fact that my home is quiet and peaceful and I can do whatever the hell I want with my time. But then I just look at my man and feel so in love with him and he'll say something divine or show some kind of crazy talent and I just want to procreate with him so bad I almost can't stand it. The whole concept makes me insanely horny, but in a creepy reproductive way rather than the recreational purposes I'm accustomed to. It literally makes me want to jump on top of him and steal his sperm over and over again with my amazing vagina that he's powerless over. It doesn't happen like this for every woman, but I do know that quite a few ladies get like this at some point in their lives. So if you're one of the 99.75% of Yahookans who happen to be male, be thankful that you don't have uncontrollable maternal instincts. It's fucking weird.

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Sir-Ex

Don't have a kid because you're feeling left out.

Have a kid when you feel good about yourself and you're in love with someone and want one.

I can only speak for myself, I know there are a lot of different sorts of parents out there for better or worse, but I love having a kid. Nothing's as real.

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Smile

Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

HTAM

I seriously doubt you are ready to take on the responsibility of a child. Read 'READY' not 'incapable'. The first two years are very taxing and for the first 6 months you have the wonderful experience of sleep depravation. And those aren't even the big reasons why you should shelve that idea for now.

Everything you want, and sometimes need yourself, comes second to the kids needs.

The study was about couples being happier without kids-

What were the anticipated results of the study prior to it being executed?

What context was the study done in?

What were the ages of the couples?

Were the couples married before or after the children arrived?

Was there financial stress that affected the overall happiness that the couples were asked about?

Was one of the spouses in school while the other worked full time?

Did the couples have a regular 'date night' monthly?

There are so many things to pick that study apart with that it made me laugh when I read about it.

Your child(ren) will make you immeasurably happy, sad, humble, and pissed off more than anyone else on the planet. They will mimic you and reflect you in the smallest and the most significant of ways. And you as a parent will be the most important person in the world to them. If you can't handle that, don't have the kid, and take reasonable precautions to keep it that way.

my_scatterheart

I don't care how many fucking kids you have, just feed them, teach them to be polite, and love them.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

Mercury

To be sure... but it's not like I have to transform into Beaver Cleavers father, right? I mean, at the end of the day you gotta be yourself.

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Sir-Ex

You can still be yourself, but to an extent you have to allow your definition of you to change.

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Smile

Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

~1~

Volunteer at a local assisted living facility, maybe the night shift, you'll get a concentrated dose of 'I wanna have a baby'.

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fenderbender

why is it always the douchebags who want to rush into having a kid...


Mercury what do you want to do with your life?
What have you given to the world?


Once you have a kid that part of your life is pretty much done man. You then devote your life to your child.



thats the problem so many poor people are facing. They dont think they are able to accomplish anything in their lives or contribute anything. What they CAN do though is start a family. Therefor huuuuge population problems and inadequate parenting running rampant.

What people need today are some achievable goals, motivation, and to realize that they are really capable of doing anything they want to do with their lives if they try hard enough.
Hope.





i recommend you actually do something with your life (read: more than buying clothes) before you have a kid...

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Imagine there's no heaven,It's easy if you try

<3

fenderbender

yeah im quoting myself so what wanna fight about it.




This problem is about to become much more evident in society, and not just with the poor.

Middle and upperclass children and young teens are totally fucked currently. They have absolutely NOTHING to look forward to in their lives. Our generations had college at least, as a way to achieve dreams and make something of ourselves.
A college degree now is becoming more and more worthless.

Kids dont have dream jobs anymore.

Everything feels as though it has already been done. Nothing left to explore .
There is no motivation for these kids and it is pretty fucking evident as prescription drug abuse and such has skyrocketted as well as kids starting younger and younger.
wtf else are they gonna do besides get high?


We need to fix this before we bring MORE children into the world IMO.

How will we renew their hope and motivation?

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Imagine there's no heaven,It's easy if you try

<3