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Old 03-16-2012, 06:38 PM   #61 (permalink)
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You know I can make it to kingston in a few hours, we could get the old brown eye lashes manscaped, if you need someone there for support.... I'm that fucking good of a friend...
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Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward
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For a wounded man shall say to his assailant
"If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven"
Such is the rule of honor

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Old 03-16-2012, 06:47 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Waxing your asshole is like Russian roulette, it's just a bad idea.
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Old 03-16-2012, 07:00 PM   #63 (permalink)
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I would have made qui bong go first, then done a bitch move and backed out at my turn... just keeping it real...
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Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant
"If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven"
Such is the rule of honor

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Old 03-16-2012, 07:02 PM   #64 (permalink)
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I got nothing
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Old 03-16-2012, 07:15 PM   #65 (permalink)
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I didn't really leave much to say.......
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Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant
"If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven"
Such is the rule of honor

Omerta
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Old 03-16-2012, 11:01 PM   #66 (permalink)
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So there I was, belly full of taco bell thinking it's go time. I done my homework, made a list, and turned my ball cap around backwards. I was ready to begin the fabled Geeno challenge. I had planned my attack for hours and was full of confidence. Nothing can stop me!

I walk in the bathroom eyeball to eyeball with the enemy. The cold stare coming off that porcelain was enough to shake even the toughest western star. I shook it off quick channeling my inner shit demon. I unzip my pants and yank em down like a stripper who's seen better days. Shoosh!! Off goes my boxers into the pile of cotton flesh. I take off my socks and take one last deep breath of air.

I lift the seat as the images of victory flood my thoughts. I can do this! I brace myself with sink and climb aboard that beast. Cold chills run through my feet, up my legs, and into my soul. I find my footing and check the angle of the dangle. All clear with a perfect line of sight.

Then the most beautiful thing happened. I let loose the most perfect piece of shit. I'm not going to lie, it was glorious. The hue reminded me of the Peter Pan pb from childhood.
I did it, I freaking did it! The pride rivaled that of a game winning home-run. I could hear the crowd chanting my name. Jes-ter jes-ter jes-ter

Then I hear a faint sound that stands out from the chanting. Like a buzzsaw at the movie theater. I look around for the source of this monstrosity. I use my bat sense to radar in the location. There from behind third base. A young man, no older than myself. I can't make out his words so I try reading his lips.

What the fuck is he saying?

Just then it hit me like a ton of bricks or a truck full of bathtubs. I fall off my throne and into the bathtub with a loud thud. Followed a spring rain of shower curtains, shampoo, and pretty much everything in my shower.

The image and the words will haunt me forever.....it was
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Last edited by Jester4yall; 09-20-2012 at 09:19 PM.
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Old 03-17-2012, 03:40 AM   #67 (permalink)
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Jes-ter Jes-ter Jes-ter......
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Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant
"If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven"
Such is the rule of honor

Omerta
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Old 03-17-2012, 08:16 AM   #68 (permalink)
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Wtf you guys shit in the sink!!?
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Old 03-17-2012, 08:19 AM   #69 (permalink)
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I'm about to go take a dump, like I do every single day of my life and it isn't going to be a big deal.
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Old 03-17-2012, 08:25 AM   #70 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Wtf you guys shit in the sink!!?
only if the bathtub is being used
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Old 03-17-2012, 11:34 AM   #71 (permalink)
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Btw..BadDog im upset you removed your epic signature!

Yeah, bummer. It was definately relevent to this thread.

If someone can find it and post it here I will use it again.

Life's like that you see, just when you're sure that no one is interested in but wiping techniques and remove your all time classic sig, then another thread about it appears out of nowhere.

how ironic.
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sometimes you just gotta agree with bondi.
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I like Iranian donkey dick,.
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There is no political correctness in FFA
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It's probably just you. Marijuana users tend to be mentally ill and the THC just exacerbates their shortcomings as human beings. You can't believe anything a pot-head says, they're all incompetent and unreliable, not to mention liars and murders.
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God I hate being on bondi's side

Video meliora probeque deteriora sequor.
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Old 03-17-2012, 09:21 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Thanks for the support Tweed, but I'll be the only man touching my butthole, thank you very much. Also, I have a terrible case of the dingleberries right now Or maybe it just hurts from wiping too hard.

Turm, I've never shit in the sink, but the first time I was drunk I shit all over the floor and toilet seat. I've also shit in the ocean and Lake Ontario numerous times in my life, I don't like shitting on a boat or in an outhouse.
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Old 03-18-2012, 05:18 AM   #73 (permalink)
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You brought up an interesting point qui, shitting in water.... I'm guilty of releasing the krappen in the river, I was considerate of fellow swimmers downstream, I told them to watch out... seems like tidal motion of the ocean would make things a lil sloppy.... unless it was a dense poop, save a tree shit underwater, wipe with a fish....
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Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant
"If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven"
Such is the rule of honor

Omerta
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Old 03-18-2012, 02:03 PM   #74 (permalink)
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ive only pooped in water like that once. it was the ocean on a calm day.

Shit was a solid log, yet a floater, and kept chasing me all over. had to keep splashing it away while trying to finish up...
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Old 03-18-2012, 07:07 PM   #75 (permalink)
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Reminds me of summer camp when I was, oh I guess, 10 or 11. The camp didn't have indoor shitters just outhouses and porta-pottys. This camp was in a remote forrest near an old ww2 bomb practice site. Obviously this place was haunted from the stories we were told. Soldiers falling from planes, mistakes in communications resulting in deaths of the ground, and an actual police standoff/shooting in the summer of '86. Then wolves, bears, girls scouts. This place was hell!

There was no freaking way us kids were using smelly porta-pottys or the creepy pitch black out houses. We opted for the retention pond instead. We could shit and wade all @ the same time. Win Win After about a week of us doing this we came up with games to make it even more interesting.

There was submariner, in which we seen how many u-boats we could surface before the other person was finished. This was the first of many to come. The originator you might call it.

Meltdown where we would use our urine stream to melt/water down turds. Think erosion This game I dominated at bc my streams are always super strong. I got so good I figured out how to blast pieces of shit shrapnel onto my opponents feet and ankles.

Racing, which is alot like meltdown except we used the piss streams to push our logs down the pond. I usually lost here bc I wasn't able to keep up with the pac.. strong stream = shorter piss times

And everybody's favorite party game Tag! When in a group of 5 or more people his game was the shit! There was only 3 rules, sling your own shit. If your hit you're Out. Run outta poo.. yup you're out
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Old 03-18-2012, 07:22 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad dog View Post
Yeah, bummer. It was definately relevent to this thread.

If someone can find it and post it here I will use it again.

Life's like that you see, just when you're sure that no one is interested in but wiping techniques and remove your all time classic sig, then another thread about it appears out of nowhere.

how ironic.
Amen.

Don't think I'll ever get rid of this merc quote.
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i've struck the absolute perfect balance between gay and smart

☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ we JACKED, you mad?☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★
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Old 03-18-2012, 07:29 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Merc come back to us!!
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:06 AM   #78 (permalink)
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in Goa India there used to be 'pig toilets'. this is basicaly an out house with a hole in the floor near one wall and a chute leading from the hole to the ground outside where the pigs eat the shit.
sometimes a little piglet manages to get halfway up the chute and lick your ass clean.

its true.

Fender doesn't nead one of those with his midget buttlicker.
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sometimes you just gotta agree with bondi.
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I like Iranian donkey dick,.
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There is no political correctness in FFA
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It's probably just you. Marijuana users tend to be mentally ill and the THC just exacerbates their shortcomings as human beings. You can't believe anything a pot-head says, they're all incompetent and unreliable, not to mention liars and murders.
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God I hate being on bondi's side

Video meliora probeque deteriora sequor.
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Old 03-20-2012, 02:11 AM   #79 (permalink)
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Fat people

Can't.Disabled people,depends.Most people in the world do it with the left hand and eat with the right.TP costs money.
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Old 03-20-2012, 03:31 AM   #80 (permalink)
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Double fist bump to the coherent part of that... /\
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Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant
"If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven"
Such is the rule of honor

Omerta
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