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Old 05-05-2003, 07:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Post makeshift homemade pussy....

hahahahah ok i was watching the suday night sexshow in a stoned haze and a caller said that filling 2 ziplock bags with warm water, tapeing them together then lubing them up and fuking them is basically the closest thing to a pussy u can get without the real thing... this made me laugh...then i reminissed about VanWilder when they get the dog to fuck the pastry... this made me curious... what other things can u make that r close to a pussy???
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Old 05-05-2003, 07:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 05-05-2003, 08:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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well he doesn't have a penis so technically...
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The most dangerous drug on this planet has to be oxygen.

A gateway drug to say the least, further more people use without even consideration, not consenting to moderation in the least, and dont even get me started on the withdrawels.


the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete.
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Old 05-05-2003, 08:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Ya, the ziplock thing works pretty well. I haven't let anyone in on more than they cared to know have I?
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Kishar steals his aunt's morphine patches because he has the moral sense of George Bush

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Old 05-05-2003, 08:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Shit since my girl is pissed and i wasent getting no cooch tonight. i was gonna try that but only got as far as kazaa and some R.Kelly tape .. and BOOOOM
Hand job it was for me .
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Old 05-05-2003, 08:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
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[quote]Originally posted by Woods:
<strong>Ya, the ziplock thing works pretty well. I haven't let anyone in on more than they cared to know have I?</strong><hr></blockquote>

no... are they better than those pocket pussies? I have one that plugs into the car lighter outlet in my car... think about that the next time you see a trucker smile at you while driving.

.. that's letting people in on too much.
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The most dangerous drug on this planet has to be oxygen.

A gateway drug to say the least, further more people use without even consideration, not consenting to moderation in the least, and dont even get me started on the withdrawels.


the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete.
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Old 05-05-2003, 09:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
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[quote]Originally posted by PerhapsBeligerent:
<strong>

no... are they better than those pocket pussies? I have one that plugs into the car lighter outlet in my car... think about that the next time you see a trucker smile at you while driving.

.. that's letting people in on too much.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Want to sell Your used goods??
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Old 05-05-2003, 09:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Old 05-06-2003, 05:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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yahookaligan is the closest thing to a pussy I can think of without being an actual vagina...


maybe you should fuck him?
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Old 05-06-2003, 05:53 AM   #10 (permalink)
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The dog in van wilder never fucked any pastry, I think you need to rewatch the movie my friend. What happend is the black guy jacked the dog off and they collected the cum and filled the pastries with the come for the DIK house.
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Old 05-06-2003, 08:22 AM   #11 (permalink)
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[quote]Originally posted by PerhapsBeligerent:
<strong>

no... are they better than those pocket pussies? I have one that plugs into the car lighter outlet in my car... think about that the next time you see a trucker smile at you while driving.

.. that's letting people in on too much.</strong><hr></blockquote>

how does that pocket pussy feel?
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Old 05-06-2003, 11:31 AM   #12 (permalink)
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<a href="http://www.realdoll.com" target="_blank">http ://www.realdoll.com</a>

^ supposed to be BETTER
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Old 05-06-2003, 11:37 AM   #13 (permalink)
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also costs 2k Jonesy, that's a lot of $5 crack whore blow jobs.
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Old 05-06-2003, 02:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
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"Question: What is the price for a REALDOLL?

The Standard female REALDOLL is $5999.00. The Male Realdoll is $6999.00. Shipping is $450 within the continental United States, and generally $800.00 international. Complete information about ordering can be found on our ORDERS page"

... might as well find a call girl service. The shipping would probably cover the charge itself.

... QUESTION: what type of people buy the Realdoll?

... ANSWER: Bill Gates.
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The most dangerous drug on this planet has to be oxygen.

A gateway drug to say the least, further more people use without even consideration, not consenting to moderation in the least, and dont even get me started on the withdrawels.


the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete.
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Old 05-06-2003, 02:15 PM   #15 (permalink)
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jonesy, I havent laughed this hard at a FAQ on a websight ever, thank you man, thank you.
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The most dangerous drug on this planet has to be oxygen.

A gateway drug to say the least, further more people use without even consideration, not consenting to moderation in the least, and dont even get me started on the withdrawels.


the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete.
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Old 05-06-2003, 03:02 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I know, it is quality entertainment

although...saying that...if someone gave me one, id shag it all the time

look what howard stern says about it

"Best sex I ever had! I swear to God! This RealDoll feels better than a real woman! She's fantastic! I love her! This RealDoll is for real, I swear! Better than a woman! My wife isn't as good as that! May God take away all my ratings if I'm lying! I'll take a lie detector test! I swear on the life of my children! I did it and it was fullfilling! I did it and I'm proud of it! It was great! It was the best sex I ever had! Thank you RealDoll.com! It was fabulous! I could fall in love with that thing!"
Howard Stern
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If you are holding onto a rising balloon you are presented with a difficult political decission - let go while you've still got the chance or hold onto the rope and continue getting higher. That's politics man.
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Old 05-06-2003, 04:39 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I would to just for status quo...

It would be nice to say I fucked a doll that cost more than a porn star's salary.

And Howard Stern doesn't give out false praise, after all he was the only one with the balls to give out his name on that page.
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The most dangerous drug on this planet has to be oxygen.

A gateway drug to say the least, further more people use without even consideration, not consenting to moderation in the least, and dont even get me started on the withdrawels.


the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete.
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Old 05-06-2003, 04:59 PM   #18 (permalink)
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"And Howard Stern doesn't give out false praise, after all he was the only one with the balls to give out his name on that page"

thats because they bought ad time on his show and gave him a free sample

oh man, ol Howie is just brimming with integrity...

"PajamaGraham, what a brilliant idea!"

"Boy do I love Vermont Teddy Bear Company"
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Old 05-06-2003, 11:59 PM   #19 (permalink)
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true, but unlike britney spears and all the other sell outs who get promos from evil corperations like disney and pepsi( all advocates of unsavory character ) He gets his from sex doll company with high upstanding morals that creates fine upstanding citizens in our society.

coke anyone?

$$$
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The most dangerous drug on this planet has to be oxygen.

A gateway drug to say the least, further more people use without even consideration, not consenting to moderation in the least, and dont even get me started on the withdrawels.


the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete.
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Old 05-07-2003, 09:42 AM   #20 (permalink)
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if i had 6000 dollars to piss away you can be assured it wont be on ANY piece of ass My HAND is free and my Girlfriend only costs me a dinner and a movie for sex
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