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| Free For All A place for thoughts and ideas that are out of place anywhere else. |
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#1 (permalink) |
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former junky turned junky
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: evidently, here.
Posts: 5,827
Thanks: 0
Thanked 15 Times in 3 Posts
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death
Death.
im probably about to experience, well soon. im going on my 2nd month of chemo, i've suffered 2 viruses sense then and well, this is my first day out of my broadloan cancer treatment facility. I get two more days of fresh air then back to that god awful place, maybe not even that if my sis panics over something small and takes me in (if i start puking i have to go back).... so im getting shit wrapped up now. i know most of you out there are thinking this is a cry for sympathy, it's not, i dont want your pity, save it for yourself cus your your going to die too for the past week or so ive been strapped to a oxgen machine, and IV to make sure my fluids stayed in check seeing how i was puking up bile constantly which sent me back and forth from a hospital bed to the EMT due to severe hydration. so i layed there, propped up like i was on freaking iron lung for about 2 weeks thinking about two things: Death, and Life. Life, you build yourself up in many different ways, whether learning, construction convience utilities to make life easier, or fucking and getting a child to continue on in this existence. what you get out of this is only purposelful during the time your here, and as for the whole (the world, you, universe), well it gets about the same. everything we build we destroy, we have winter to kill off all the plant for rebirth. it seem rebirth is more pushed then building on things, like evolution in nature. the way we are brought in here is something to be thought about too. we do build on ourselves, think about dreaming, you wake up to take images in to create the world withen while dreamning... all to be brought to: death or more pacific, self destruction from this world. LSD is the first drug i did, and i didnt do it for conscence expansion, i did it because i thought it would fuck my brain up and i said "cool" which seems silly to most people becuase they wish to build their lives up, gain families, build shit. it's like they dont realize they end up here. death. where your little inventions dont matter. electricity and the light bulb means shit you feel you about to pass away in two moments. your house doesnt matter, your furniture doesnt matter, not even the people sitting on the furniture in your house matter, during these moments there are mere material objects even if they there, their not with you. when you see the world like this, it almost becomes a pleasure land, because that's all it's good for. acheiving the most pleasure you can, because we all are in self destruct mode. but then again perhaps there some over seeing deity, looking after you, with a reward if you've been good. but what reward? something else that dies away and goes back to nothing? maybe nothing is the reward. and even so what does it all mean? what's it's purpose? does it have a purpose? perhaps it's all just randomness, perhaps we are just a test tube that did something weird. perhaps this isnt real. perhaps this is just a test, perhaps the world isnt real but merely a trap. maybe your the only thing that's real, and the world is fake, and the more you take of the world, the more you become the world, hence becoming more fake. maybe im just a drama queen. my xanex speal is over. i'll see you in a couple weeks. peace love and hippie shit - perhaps belligerent AKA Shake-A-Baby AKA Lions & Christians
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The most dangerous drug on this planet has to be oxygen. A gateway drug to say the least, further more people use without even consideration, not consenting to moderation in the least, and dont even get me started on the withdrawels. the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. to take a substance and combine it with another substance that makes it more than it's origenal worth. in this sense, you really need to start making bronze statues of your pharmacist or local chemist, for they have made gods own medicine, morphine, and in contrast, a shiney rock doesnt seem to compete. |
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#2 (permalink) | |
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po pimp
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: do you wanna ride in the backseat of a honda?
Posts: 6,190
Thanks: 4
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
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damn
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everythings cool as i float downstream Quote:
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#5 (permalink) |
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Old School
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,479
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
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just remember that you can actualy beat this thing
...my mom beat cancer about 3 years ago, and shes doing great these days i realy dont know what else to say besides i hope your treatment goes well
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Stickin you for yo' dough while I'm fuckin yo' broke ho bongsmilie |
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#6 (permalink) |
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Hedonistic fool
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Denver Metro
Posts: 5,479
Thanks: 22
Thanked 35 Times in 28 Posts
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Your one of the most interesting and memorable characters on here, Bellig.
Thank you for your thoughts, and it's been a pleasure.
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The never-ending quest to find a reason to smile... |
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#7 (permalink) |
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jolly good
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Planet Boringtown
Posts: 1,654
Thanks: 37
Thanked 12 Times in 9 Posts
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fuck
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"Just think, right now, all over the world there are people excercising bad judgment. Somebody, right this minute, is probably making the mistake of his life." "Why is there such controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to test any drug they can come up with." "I made a bargain with the devil: I would get to be famous, and he would get to fuck my sister." All quotes by George Carlin (RIP) |
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#10 (permalink) |
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king of the jews
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: wedged between two fat people fucking
Posts: 6,565
Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts
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thanks for that man
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you're all a bunch of fucks Once I met this wino and he was eating some grapes and I said "dude, you have to wait". I don't have a girlfriend. I just know this lady who'd be really mad if she heard me say that. I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me. I got an ant farm. Them fellas don't grow shit. I like the FedEx guy, 'cause he is a drug dealer and he don't even know it! And he is always on time. - Mitch Hedberg nipples? |
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#11 (permalink) |
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Flame Retarded
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,956
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
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Read ur PM
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You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me. -Gonzo come on down to the store you can buy some more, and more, and more, and more |
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#12 (permalink) |
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Down is the new up.
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 2,997
Thanks: 29
Thanked 36 Times in 31 Posts
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What you wrote made me feel a little better, and I've had a shitty night.
Or at least what I consider to be a shitty night. I hope you beat the sickness man, you deserve life - that's for sure.
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"We're not scaremongering, this is really happening." |
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#13 (permalink) |
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Voice of Reason
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8,066
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Take care mang, although there is only life and death there is still an affect on life of those around yours. Here at yahooka you've impacted many lives, my own included, and I hope you'll still hang around.
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Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. -H. Bergson |
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#15 (permalink) |
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no custom. customize
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: The unOriginal Rorschach.
Posts: 19,305
Thanks: 15
Thanked 18 Times in 17 Posts
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let us know whats on the other side if you can. be creative.
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We are all atheists about most of the gods that society has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. -Richard Dawkins |
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#17 (permalink) |
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no custom. customize
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: The unOriginal Rorschach.
Posts: 19,305
Thanks: 15
Thanked 18 Times in 17 Posts
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whys he gotta fight death if it's coming to him? he should be excited.
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We are all atheists about most of the gods that society has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. -Richard Dawkins |
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#19 (permalink) | |
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*
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: the edge of somewhere
Posts: 5,386
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Life is like jumping off a cliff, living the freefall. Some cliffs are taller then others, some have clouds all the way to the ground, and some you can see it approach. Whatever the characteristics of your personal cliff, you have the same two choices. You can scream in terror at the approaching ground, whether you can see it or not, or you can yell for joy at the feeling of flying.
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Quote:
Prisons are built with stones of Law. Brothels with bricks of religion. |
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#20 (permalink) |
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no custom. customize
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: The unOriginal Rorschach.
Posts: 19,305
Thanks: 15
Thanked 18 Times in 17 Posts
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Thats another nice way of putting it.
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We are all atheists about most of the gods that society has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. -Richard Dawkins |
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