I10HaulR

I'm Quitting my job tomorrow. I have a piss test tomorrow, and even though I've worked there for five years, and have passed numerous drug tests with synthetic urine, I'm just tired of the whole grind. I'm 29, married with two kids. I make 100k+ a year. I put my wife through five years of school and now she makes 100k a year, you'd think life would be good. But all we do is spend money on useless battle of the Joneses type shit, that just fills up the house.

I'm not even joking. We have more useless SHIT in this house it drives me crazy. I throw shit away that my maniac consuming wife buys on the daily. All those retarded supermarket celebrity rags, old plastic toys that are broken or are so fucking stupid like happy meal toys. Oh here's a chunk of plastic that has a little red light that flashes on the top so a kid will be entertained for only the trip home. Bottled water, we go through a big Sam's pack a week. All the newest workout fads that sit in a corner and never get used, and really wouldn't be needed if people would just get their fat asses out of the house and cook at home instead of eating all this trash they call food these days.

I've been cutting this stuff out personally for a couple of months, just from stopping all the liquid sugar (Dr. Pepper) I sucked down on the daily, amd cooking good food at home I'm starting to see my abs again. But then I realized that even healthy and convenient for me, doesn't necessarily mean healthy for the rest of the planet.

I think most of the world, and especially Americans are so arrogant and selfish, that they don't see the effect of all this senseless consumption. I'm guilty myself. I can't count all the times I see those commercials of the African tribes starving to death as I throw away my huge plate of leftovers. I'm a fucking consuming douche, and I wake up every morning go hit my grind that's all based on these oil refineries and chemical plants in the Gulf Coast area...so what, so I can take that money that they pay me to go put more fuel in my 46k dollar dually truck, and buy a bunch of plastic shit from walmart. All the money I make either goes back to the oil and chemical companies that I make my money from in the first place. If not them, It's going to the Government.

All this pollution and just flat out garbage, is probably what's making those Africans land so unlivable anyway. I mean we do give them money for food, but now any African with twenty dollars can go and buy an AK-47 and use the food as a monetary form. It's fucking sad, and every time I go and buy a pair of Nikes I'm contributing to some fucking sweatshop in Korea, or where ever the fucking cheap ass thing you buy is made. We all contribute to this. And for what, to save a few bucks on something youu probably didn't need, or if you save some of your money on other useless shit you could probably afford to buy something of higher quality that will last the rest of your life.

Sorry for the rant, but I just don't numb myself to it anymore. I don't drink, pop pills or snort anything. I smoke fucking weed in my garage and go mow the grass. And when I do all this shit is right in my fucking face, like I can see through all the advertisements, style, and marketing ploys. I'm tired of working a job that doesn't have a cause, that pays good money, so I can support this evil economy, by consuming the latest thing to one up the guy around the corner.

Fuck'em all.

To top all that instead of giving my money to the pharmaceutical companies, for these pills that these LEGAL DRUG DEALERS push down your throat, because that just happens to be the newest drug that week, I choose to smoke some dank to help smooth things out(I have severe ADD) I have to buy fake fucking piss and stick it under my balls to pass a drug test, so I can keep my worthless job. Funny thing is if I popped a test for aderal or ritalin It would be ok since It's Legal, but that shit turns me into a zombie and screws up my digestive track. So I smoke weed, and I can sleep at night, have a good appetite, enables me to concentrate for extended periods of time on one thing, and best of all it's about to be free since I'm going to get a little grow set up.

Also don't get this confused with me wanting to be some kind of mountain man or something. Human advancement should be everyones main goal, not like trying to be some ugly cunt on TV cause they have some money and get to buy a bunch of shit and party. We should start thinking about electric cars...I know we already have them, but maybe we could make them even better by building an interstate system (roads) that are powered (maybe like old time slot cars) or something to get us around oil free. And maybe to do this we could get more creative with our energy sources, like more windmills at beach wind locations. Or maybe find a way to harness some of the now kinetic energy of the ocean. Then anyone anywher could have extremely cheap or free energy. Think about how that would change the world. But it will never happen If the same 'ol lobbyist suck off the same 'ol politicians, from the same 'ol political parties.

This is my new mission in life. I'm quitting my job and will probably end up divorcing my wife, because she just thinks I'm crazy, and I just see her as "The Perfect American". I just can't go on supporting this behavior, and maybe if more people will think like this all these companies will have no other choice but to evolve into a better company, or go out of business all together. Just look at GM, one of our biggest corporations. About to go out of business, because nobody wants to spend the money on, sub-par ,all the way around, vehicles. Just follow the money, we have more power than we think. It's in our wallet, and every useless dollar you spend, makes you an enabler.

Sorry for the long post, but I don't have work tomorrow and can stay up late and actually do something I find interesting.

Sugar420

i can see youve been thinking about this for a while.

i totally agree with everything you say but then your solution is to quit you job and divorce your wife and what happens to your kids? if you want to make a better world for them, it seems like their lives are going to be so shaken up in the wake of your mid life crisis mission to reject bourgeois surburbia
if you try to fix this by yourself without any plan i dont see how it can lead anywhere other than more tears for everybody.
you need more of a plan than to just say fuck it, and you should include your wife and kids in that plan
anyway thats my opinion.
you are so brave to face up to the truth that you see in front of you, but just to throw everything away does not seem like a good reaction.
what are you gonna do?

José

Dude, so this is how you feel. Imagine the people that got us into this shit with the economy. Think about the people that were behind all of this. The people that figured out they could make shit tons of money by loaning money to people they know they could never pay back. THINK ABOUT IT. Everyone on this forum thinks I'm a dumb shit, but I know what I'm talking about. I'm just socially fucked up, that's all. Sorry to go off on that shit, I guess I needed a little G&S myself. Any who, yea dude when I look at those huge trucks while I'm in my tiny Z, I just imagine what their jobs are. I've always been curious to know what lives they lead to own a truck that takes as much gas to get the truck to roll than I can go in a mile in my car. I'm so impressed with what you have decided to do. You're making a group of decisions here that not many men will ever have the balls to do and will go on with the guilt forever. Seriously, these people that are behind this sub prime mortgage catastrophe will never be able to feel the same again. They are now billionaires. Yes. Billionaires. These people will live with this guilt forever.

My Dad has a real good friend of his that has this picture of him in Argentina hunting with this shirt that says,"He who dies with the most toys wins."

Isn't that totally true? These billionaires are hording billions and billions of dollars that they will never even see/use. If they just gave out all of their money and kept one billion dollars, that could probably save the US from this sub prime mortgage debt, which would fix a lot of the economies problems right now. Well it's definitely too late for that, but we can't go back now. They know that, a lot of people know that, and they have to live with what they decided to do. They are just extremely greedy fuckers. I have a friend going to Brown into business. He knows exactly whats up with the economy, and I have no doubt he'll still do fine what ever happens in the market.


I'm so impressed with what you are saying. Definitely come up with a plan before you carry out any of this. Maybe tell your wife how you're feeling about this? Or... did you kinda try that already? :/

John Lennon was a smart man. Watch that interview with the 16 year old some time.

I10HaulR

Thank you. I left the part about the kids out because I'd actually been planning on leaving my wife for some time now, so it was, in my mind, unrelated to my current state of new found consciousness. For that is another situation I have to explain out fully so everyone can see the big picture.

First let's start with me, and my upbringing. My mother got pregnant with me the first time she had sex. My family is from Alabama, and my grandparents on my mothers side are Southern Baptist types. My Fathers Father was murdered when he was 9 and my Grandmother on his side was mentally ill. This lead to my then sixteen year old uncle to raise a family of four. They were poor, and I think that whole situation led to the type of person my Father would become. A raging, consuming, alcoholic. He was 27 and my Mother was 17, so this in todays standards is kind of fucked up to begin with. Anyway my Mother found out the type of person my Father was and decided to be a single mother. Well, her Mother had another plan and basically sent my Mom packing to Texas or face being outcasted by the family.

So now you have a Wife that doesn't Love her Husband, and a Husband that knows it, so it drives him even more crazy. I had to lay in my bed at night and listen to so many fights, rapes, beatings. It was hell. But my Father had a good job, and we always had nice things, because that's what my dad thought was important. My mother loving her only son so much that she went through eighteen years of literal torture so I could have nice things. But trust me, the way I saw her suffer I'd rather have slept on a dirt floor and her have peace, than all the shit you could buy. I even had thoughts of murdering him. I think I could have even gotten away with it a few times when he'd beat on both of us. I know that story might be a little harsh, or maybe a walk in the park compared to others, but it's what shaped me into the person I am today.

I've only had three girl friends my entire life, which for me, equals three women that I've ever slept with. I just don't get off on the whole slutty thing. I enjoy love, it's beautiful. And I'm a good looking guy. To the point where girls would spread rumors in high school that I was gay because I wouldn't hook up with them. How dare anyone have any morals.LOL


Anyways So I was single at the time and moved to Colorado. I'd been into X, binge drinking, and some white every now and then and just didn't like my friends and what I'd become. So I got away from all my bad influences and cleaned up. I lived there for two years and the only person there that I made real friends with was this Palestinian Guy. He owned a convenience store by my work and I'd go and hang out at his store after work. This guy really fascinated me. He could be talking to me in english, pick up the phone and either talk Arabic or Egyptian (He could speak both) and then speak fluent Spanish to a customer cashing a check. All this without taking any classes. He just had to learn spanish to suit his clientèle. He would tell me the Palestinian side of the whole Palestinian/Israel conflict. It was eye opening to hear someone other than the news or media tell the Palestinian side of the dispute. Which further led to long talks about Christianity over Islam, and Ultimately inspired my own quest for religion that ended with me becoming Muslim.

So now this leads to my wife. We had actually went to college together and a few parties. She's Indian via Guyana and Trinidad, and Muslim. We dated for a few months when I moved back from Colorado, and somehow got pregnant. We were in love and I was actually looking for rings before she even got pregnant. Everything was fine until we started living together. I wanted to do things the smart, slow way. She needed and was used to having, everything then and now. Within a year from moving back from Colorado, I'd gotten married, bought a house, had a kid, and had to start a company to afford the lifestyle. Still no problems except a ton of debt.

Now to the children. I used to think my wife didn't have a maternal bone in her body, now I think that's she's so obsessed with herself and material things that she doesn't have time to be bothered by such petty things as children. Really, she is the most selfish person I've ever met. I think she'd actually sel one of the kids for some MAC make-up. Instead of teaching our children or showing them, she yells at them for everything. To the point where they're so used to it that they don't even listen to her anymore, so then that pisses her off even more and she starts threatening them. Threatening our three year old boy that if he doesn't do something the cop who lives next door will take them away and shit like that. Then I'll hear it and try and tell her she just needs to get away from the mirror or laptop long enough to go over and teach them or show them what she wants them to do, and to not threaten them like that. This happens a lot at the house. She's also abusive to the point where I told her I think it was time we went our separate ways and she attacked me with a belt with a pretty decent sized buckle.I had to leave the house, My ears got so hot, it was either leave the house or hit her and I'd never do, that no matter her weapon.

So this has been the delima I've been living with for the last couple of years. Either have my kids grow up in this fucked up household, and possibly fuck them up, or take them out of it and grow up with divorced parents. I think at least that way they'd understand when they got older that I did it for a reason. But I still don't know which will effect them the least. I used to think I'd stay and put up with that kind of stuff like my mom did. I can't even imagine a morning when I don't wake up to the sounds of my two beautiful boys running into the bed room, rubbing their eyes just so happy to be alive and see what the day has in store for them. It's very humbling having kids, and I want to give them the best example I can on how to be a Man. They've really been the inspiration for me wanting to change myself, and everything else I see wrong. Kids are like sponges, and they look at their parents like they are everything in the world, because at this moment in their life we are. And I hate hypocrites so I'm going to have to walk the walk. And I for damn sure don't want them growing up in the world we live in today.

José

If everything you said was true, that's a damn good reason for a divorce. There's nothing wrong with a divorce if it's truly called for. Yea I would suggest getting those kids out of that situation. If they some how end up with their mom, I'm sure it wouldn't take the kids long to tell the judge they wanna be with dad. Who am I to be telling you this shit any ways. It's one hell of a story though.

I10HaulR

Spanky
I've read a lot of your posts, and we definitely think alike. I think a lot of the people on this board are interested in enlightening themselves. And the ones that are in dispare I think results from this way of thinking and life. A lot of smart talented people and artists numb their selves out, because it's too painful to see a world so beautiful and have it ruined by greedy ignorant asses. I've been one of them. Weed has allowed me to see through all this and have a greater level of consciousness or I'd probably gone on living the same type of life, and be unhappy, and teach my kids that that's OK.
I used to frequent some of the diesel truck forums, and it's full of ignorant fool, because I was one of them. Check out this truck I built off information I got off the INTERNET. It can actually run 12 second quarter miles. But what's the fucking point, what a waste of time and money that was.

I10HaulR

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And I love working on shit. I did about 20k worth of engine and transmission mods, and for what so my diesel can be faster than your diesel. You should have seen all the black smoke that thing put out. I could punch it and it would black out a four lane road. Useless. It was actually so modified it couldn't do it's main purpose of pulling heavy load because it would melt the engine.

I10HaulR

I don't know why it's not comeing up but if you want to see that truck, just to see how rediculous the notion even was, you can see it in my profile album.

Lloydy

i can feel the hatred from here

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Keep the red flag flying high

I10HaulR

Can you? Nah bro I do have hate in me, or maybe it's just being really pissed off. I feel like a fool that's been dooped. But now that I know and recognize it I just want to do something about it. My tone in the post wasn't supposed to come off as hate, just a very strong opinion that I've become passionate about. I was telling some of this to my Mom and her boyfriend, and all she did was ask me if I was depressed and smoking again. I told her hell yeah I'm depressed look at our lives, and I'd rather smoke, than take a pill.


That's why I enjoy it here at Yahooka. Anonymity allows you to be completely honest, or completely full of shit. I think most here are honest, and not afraid to think.

José

Yeah I can definitely see where you are coming from a lot better now. I do agree with you man, I love to tinkering with that kinda stuff. I guess earning it by making the poor, more poor just gave you that guilt? You don't understand how big of a step you are taking to make this sort of decision. I could bet you that most of those motor heads wouldn't let that thought cross their minds twice. That's probably one bad ass truck, but I definitely would leave it for the guys that don't mind burning up the atmosphere. That really is a sad situation for your kids though. I think you are lucky that you aren't waiting till they are older to come up with this scheme. I really don't think there's such thing as a perfect household for kids to grow up, every little thing affects the way that they act when they are older. I wouldn't say the sooner the better, but definitely don't put it off till they move out. Any ways, I'm sure you know what you're doing. You really do sound a lot like me too. I wish you the best of luck, I'll be glad to keep in touch with this thread.

As for hatred.. That's just silly. lol It takes a lot to get me physically pissed off, my parents have desensitised me when it comes to anger. My mom's a micromanaging freak and used to yell at me if I did one thing wrong.

The Rev

I'm so feeling you, man.

I just found out where money comes from, and, in so doing, how the world really works. I lost all interest in getting wound up about my job, my bills, and all of it. The whole game is devote one's entire life to work, give the lion's share to the bankers, then fight over the leftovers and petty status perks (like a more expensive car). I want out, too. Fortunately, I have more support from my wife.

As long as you don't do anything hasty, I say, "Follow your conscience". You'll be living your life for yourself, that way, which is how it's supposed to be for free people. What we have now is serfdom with 500 channels of TV; based on money instead of land power. That shit is just wrong. You gotta throw it all down, look into your own heart, and do what YOU know is right.

Good luck bro.



The Rev

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Captain Cannabis

you rule. its okay that you have spent a large percentage of your life being a consumer whore because IT BOTHERS YOU! it should bother you. you don't have to be a hippie to support local businesses and farmers. if your food has to travel halfway across the world to get to your plate then its bad for everyone, not only your wallet.

i don't know what else to say. good luck.

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fuck the monkeys

Sugar420

you will be in my prayers for sure

sput·nik

What an awesome OP.

Sounds like it feels damn good to get this off your chest.


Strength & Respect , Godspeed my man.

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and those who were seen dancing
were thought to be insane
by those who could not hear the music . . .

I10HaulR

Thanks to everyone for the support. It really does help me personally, that I'm not alone in my beliefs. It's also sad that only one person in my social circle understands. The rest think I've finally lost it.


Captain Cannabis
What you said actually gave me a good Idea. I still have a huge truck, maybe I could talk to my home owners association and see if I couldn't start some kind of Farmers Market pool, and get a list and money from people in the neighborhood and make a weekly trip to our local farms. I could bring my boys along, and being 2&4 they'd love the hell out of it. Thanks for that.

Bad dog

I hear what your saying even if your posts are too long for my attention span.

I will try and deal with this systematically but there may be some over lap.

Before you let your moral overdose lead you to panic.

If I were in your shoes I would do as follows.

I would take controll over my life. If you want to leave your wife you are gonna need money.
If you want to change your life, your gonna need money.
If you want to get out of the system, your gonna need money.

Now you have money, so stop wasting it on useless shit and start saving it.
keep your high paying job for as long as you can and save as much money as you can.

In the meanwhile, remember that you have small kids involved and they are your responsibility. You can't just 'tune in and drop out' and stop being able to function as a parent. If your gonna divorce they will need you to be functioning more than ever.

Try and remember, you can't change the world (too much), just try and do nice things and help others as much as possible and you will have done alot.

Being right or wrong is not the point, there is no such thing anyway, you need to be CLEVER man. Fix your problems slowly and right without all this panicky shit.

By the sound of things you are half way there already, just believe in yourself and listen to the advice of your elders.

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this is where i live

Peace seeker

thats good advice^

Theres difficult times comin (financially speaking). Save your money and stop wasting it on stupid shit.

Take care of your kids (first of all).

Like BD said, you can bring stabillity back, one step at a time.
Panic never helps (at least it never helped me..)

Captain Cannabis

i'm glad that out of all the awesome props in this thread you turned mine into one of the better ideas that i have heard lately. hopefully your neighbours are on board (ie: not idiots). please keep us updated if you actually do this! then i would feel like i have helped too.

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fuck the monkeys

Waves

word

alot more people are going to start "waking up" from their suburban dream lives and seeing them for the empty shells they are. i applaud the OP.

im not worried, its just a shifting of priorities away from empty consumerism to an economy more based on what we actually NEED in life.

focus on your family, love, and just living how you want to live. the time of plastic shiny adult-toys and white picket fences is coming to an end. i couldnt be happier.

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow