YaHooka Forums  

Go Back   YaHooka Forums > Helpful Buds > Guidance And Support
Home Register FAQ Social Groups Links Mark Forums Read

Guidance And Support Questions and issues of a serious nature including health, medicinal cannabis use, personal issues, relationship issues, communication problems, parenting, cross-generational issues, problems with parents, giving up and overcoming obstacles.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-27-2009, 10:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
YaHookan
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 426
Thanks: 30
Thanked 34 Times in 27 Posts
Question i love my bf...but...

I always miss my ex.
Or wish he was here.

I think maybe it's just because im with my current bf all the time and he drives me nuts,

but my question is,
do you think it's okay for me to really miss (or have love) for my ex and still be in love with my current bf. I know I love him...


or am i just a shitty person??


I just dont know right and wrong relationship wise sometimes...
illest12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2009, 11:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
Trapeze Artist
 
reverie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,443
Thanks: 46
Thanked 93 Times in 66 Posts
Nah, its totally normal hun.. Each individual has different characteristics we can appreciate and characteristics we dislike. When you date a multitude of people you will realize just which aspects are important to you. Just because you are officially committed to this person doesn't mean that you wont desire traits he doesn't have. This may make you reassess what you want in life and where you should be. Which is always a good thing to do. Helps us grow. However, I suggest not demanding he change (not that you are) and to be mindful of just exactly the things you do appreciate in him. Whats important to you?

Love is a very dynamic organism
__________________
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes."
-Obi-Wan Kenobi

"Where there is cruise there is an escort of anti-cruise. But even in a bastion of anti-cruise fodder... there is cruise"
-Levitch

Elegies and Reveries to No One. Aka: Poetry and shit.
reverie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2009, 11:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
YaHookan
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 426
Thanks: 30
Thanked 34 Times in 27 Posts
thanks so much...growing up my parents didnt even talk so it's hard for me to acess what a normal healthy relationship is. However, I try really hard to be my personal best, because then everything is easier. If i'm confident in myself then it doesnt matter who comes and goes..
But your advice really makes sense. And I KNOW i love him, so i was troubled by the feelings for my ex lingering around..

but again, thanks
illest12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2009, 11:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
Trapeze Artist
 
reverie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,443
Thanks: 46
Thanked 93 Times in 66 Posts
No problem Anytime.

I know what its like my parents were very similar. Doing your personal best is all that can ever be asked of you.

Much love
__________________
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes."
-Obi-Wan Kenobi

"Where there is cruise there is an escort of anti-cruise. But even in a bastion of anti-cruise fodder... there is cruise"
-Levitch

Elegies and Reveries to No One. Aka: Poetry and shit.
reverie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2009, 11:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
amateur gynecologist
 
TheGrandPuba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,588
Thanks: 43
Thanked 59 Times in 38 Posts
Reverie has given you some pretty good advice.

Just wondering if you're still in contact with your ex... if you still talk with him and deep down you want him back it isn't fair to your current bf. If there is no chance for you and your ex to ever get back together then I suggest you do your best not to let old feelings mess up your current relationship.
TheGrandPuba is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2009, 05:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
loading user title..
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: subcutaneous layer
Posts: 2,236
Thanks: 121
Thanked 223 Times in 156 Posts
You sound like a girl who wants their cake and eat it too... why don't you just fuck both of them? All, thats right..... you already have.
__________________
Those Americans who believed that we could live under the illusion of isolationism wanted the American eagle to imitate the tactics of the ostrich. Now, many of those same people, afraid that we may be sticking our necks out, want our national bird to be turned into a turtle. But we prefer to retain the eagle as it is--flying high and striking hard. "FDR"

Last edited by Kishar; 03-28-2009 at 05:20 AM.
Kishar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2009, 07:37 AM   #7 (permalink)
The Worst
 
Grieves's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Interstate 8
Posts: 12,077
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 2,552
Thanked 3,110 Times in 1,708 Posts
next step is both at once....
__________________
"And no matter what they said
dollar is not your friend
and it's the feelings that are hard to know
are the feelings that all come slow

No matter what they said
dollar is not your friend
and these feelings that so hard to know
are the feelings that wont let go

No don't let go, till you find a home
World Unite and I'll love you forever"
Grieves is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2009, 07:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
(òÓ,)_\,,/
 
AlteredStateGrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 10,426
Thanks: 2,181
Thanked 1,823 Times in 1,115 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by illest12 View Post
I always miss my ex.
Or wish he was here.......
Well, he's not gonna be there. He's your ex...gone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by illest12 View Post
I think maybe it's just because im with my current bf all the time and he drives me nuts
Why are you with someone who drives you nuts when he's around all the time? Maybe it's not that you miss your ex so much but that you're with someone you don't like all that much.


Quote:
Originally Posted by illest12 View Post
do you think it's okay for me to really miss (or have love) for my ex and still be in love with my current bf. I know I love him......
You need to get over it already. Yes, yes it's fine to miss him or have some love left for him or whatever...but if you're letting get in the way of the attention/love you give your current bf, that's not fair to him so if you're not going to move on from the past, let this bf go and figure yourself out first.
__________________
*The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.*

AlteredStateGrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2009, 07:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
jude law's new nanny
 
The SARS Volta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: A van down by the river
Posts: 2,979
Thanks: 50
Thanked 155 Times in 96 Posts
I might be off, but it sounds like you settled for your current guy just for the sake of having a new boyfriend and perhaps not because you genuinely like him.

Consider being single for a while. The guy you do like is done and over, and you're not feeling the boyfriend you do have. By this you risk hurting him and misleading, so drop the relationship before it further expires if this is the case.
__________________
(fiance)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeSomeDoja
pheonce hahaha wow a ghettoer spelling would be hard to come by.
edit - pheeyonce i guess.
The SARS Volta is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:14 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Inactive Reminders By Icora Web Design