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#1 (permalink) |
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YaHookan
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 426
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I always miss my ex.
Or wish he was here. I think maybe it's just because im with my current bf all the time and he drives me nuts, but my question is, do you think it's okay for me to really miss (or have love) for my ex and still be in love with my current bf. I know I love him... or am i just a shitty person?? I just dont know right and wrong relationship wise sometimes... |
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#2 (permalink) |
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Trapeze Artist
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,443
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Nah, its totally normal hun.. Each individual has different characteristics we can appreciate and characteristics we dislike. When you date a multitude of people you will realize just which aspects are important to you. Just because you are officially committed to this person doesn't mean that you wont desire traits he doesn't have. This may make you reassess what you want in life and where you should be. Which is always a good thing to do. Helps us grow. However, I suggest not demanding he change (not that you are) and to be mindful of just exactly the things you do appreciate in him. Whats important to you?
Love is a very dynamic organism
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"Only a Sith deals in absolutes." -Obi-Wan Kenobi "Where there is cruise there is an escort of anti-cruise. But even in a bastion of anti-cruise fodder... there is cruise" -Levitch Elegies and Reveries to No One. Aka: Poetry and shit. |
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#3 (permalink) |
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YaHookan
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 426
Thanks: 30
Thanked 34 Times in 27 Posts
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thanks so much...growing up my parents didnt even talk so it's hard for me to acess what a normal healthy relationship is. However, I try really hard to be my personal best, because then everything is easier. If i'm confident in myself then it doesnt matter who comes and goes..
But your advice really makes sense. And I KNOW i love him, so i was troubled by the feelings for my ex lingering around.. but again, thanks
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#4 (permalink) |
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Trapeze Artist
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,443
Thanks: 46
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No problem
Anytime.I know what its like my parents were very similar. Doing your personal best is all that can ever be asked of you. Much love
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"Only a Sith deals in absolutes." -Obi-Wan Kenobi "Where there is cruise there is an escort of anti-cruise. But even in a bastion of anti-cruise fodder... there is cruise" -Levitch Elegies and Reveries to No One. Aka: Poetry and shit. |
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#5 (permalink) |
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amateur gynecologist
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,588
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Reverie has given you some pretty good advice.
Just wondering if you're still in contact with your ex... if you still talk with him and deep down you want him back it isn't fair to your current bf. If there is no chance for you and your ex to ever get back together then I suggest you do your best not to let old feelings mess up your current relationship. |
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#6 (permalink) |
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loading user title..
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: subcutaneous layer
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You sound like a girl who wants their cake and eat it too... why don't you just fuck both of them? All, thats right..... you already have.
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Those Americans who believed that we could live under the illusion of isolationism wanted the American eagle to imitate the tactics of the ostrich. Now, many of those same people, afraid that we may be sticking our necks out, want our national bird to be turned into a turtle. But we prefer to retain the eagle as it is--flying high and striking hard. "FDR" Last edited by Kishar; 03-28-2009 at 05:20 AM. |
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#7 (permalink) |
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The Worst
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Interstate 8
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next step is both at once....
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"And no matter what they said
dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever" |
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#8 (permalink) | |
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(òÓ,)_\,,/
Join Date: Sep 2004
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Well, he's not gonna be there. He's your ex...gone.
Quote:
You need to get over it already. Yes, yes it's fine to miss him or have some love left for him or whatever...but if you're letting get in the way of the attention/love you give your current bf, that's not fair to him so if you're not going to move on from the past, let this bf go and figure yourself out first.
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*The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.* ![]() |
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#9 (permalink) | |
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jude law's new nanny
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: A van down by the river
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I might be off, but it sounds like you settled for your current guy just for the sake of having a new boyfriend and perhaps not because you genuinely like him.
Consider being single for a while. The guy you do like is done and over, and you're not feeling the boyfriend you do have. By this you risk hurting him and misleading, so drop the relationship before it further expires if this is the case.
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