José

If I want to 'seriously' date a girl do I have to wait for her to get over her ex?

Her ex is some jock with terrible romance ideas.
He tried posting pictures on her facebook to try to get her back this week end. I mean we are planning on tripping together this weekend, but do I have to wait for her to get over him before I can even think about asking her out to coffee or dinner? she's a year younger than us(us being me and the kid she's done with).

osirus2020

Rebound?

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pacman

Yes. And you also have to get her bf's permission.

no spanky, if she wants to go out with you then go for it. you'd be better off if she was completely done with her bf though. if you start dating her now and she likes you, she'll break it off. or if your compromised, you'll have to fight the dude, and according to every movie about high school ive watched, you should win

start lifting

José

oh that's just it, they are done. I just don't know how long it's been, but I know she is a little down about it still since he tried to get her back.

I think I can take him, he's just a basketball player.

toastyroach

you put 'seriously date' and then 'asking for a cup of coffee or dinner' togeather? the two are night and day.. and get it out of your head that shes the only girl available or that she is somehow unique or special. every girl you walk past everywhere you go is in your grasp, you just need to grow some balls.

that being said, you don't have to marry the broad. think about it man: shes just out of a relationship and at her most emotionally vulnerable, and you have a unique chance to capitalize on this opportunity. talk to her like shes one of your boys but be nice to her, and go in for the kill now while her self esteem is wounded and her standards are low. you're pretty much guaranteed pussy here if you have any game at all. whatever you do don't start mentioning any dumb shit that you really like her or want a relationship or anything... (you should never really do this in any circumstances unless its in reciprocation) and you should be golden.

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SageTree

hehh, not our usual G&S crowd. Thanks for coming in fellas.

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my_scatterheart

Do yourself a favor Spanky and don't subscribe to some bullshit "she's not special or unique, this is just an opportunity to get laid." It's a lame way to think, and it will serve to turn you into a prick down the road. You seem like a sweet kid.
Get laid a couple times "capitalizing" on this chick, or get laid a lot by diggin on who she is and having a relationship? Have fun either way you go with it
If you like her, go for it, you guys'll probably have a great time. You'll kick yourself in the ass if you don't at least try to ask her out if you actually dig the chick.

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mothernature

total agreement

Debaser

I could go on and on about this but I'm at work so I'll give you the short version:

It's been my experience that fresh, new cock will go a long way towards helping her get over the douchebag she was with.

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Krunk

you should have no worries about it. don't consider her ex's feelings at all.

as for her, if she's still hung up on him, don't waste too much time. give her a week or so, and if she's still stringing you along like "i don't know if i'm ready", then she's not.

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awwsuga23

if you want to seriously date her then yeah she needs to be over him. if you want to ask her out do it. if she isnt over him she will tell you. if shes into you she will persue you when she gets over him

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toastyroach

from my experience people who think that 'oh man i want to be with her so bad' (and having not even hooked up with her) are frustrated chumps who have trouble meeting women and getting laid, cling to one that will pay them some attention, get feelings for them, occasionally 'get lucky' with one - but only for a short time till she realizes the kind of person he really is and then dumps him and the cycle continues. i think you would have trouble really disagreeing with this.

you shouldn't ever think 'i want to be in a relationship with this girl that i've never even hooked up with once'... you're straight up setting yourself up for failure. *especially* with a girl on the rebound - she will straight up use you to get over her ex and then as soon as she feels ok /meets someone better she'll get rid of you in a hearbeat (guys do the same thing too though; it's just less common)

instead, you should go in thinking its just another lay, and only look for a relationship when it 'happens' and you know her better, and, IMO trust her. no one can control how they feel about / like someone, and the best way to prevent yourself from getting fucked is to be defensive with your feelings

was that good enough for you scatter??

edit: i personally subscribe to the fact that unless shes your're wife, this bitch isnt better for much more then having fun with haha sorry, i couldn't hold everything back

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Psilocychosis

Asking her out on a date and seriously dating are different. Start with coffee. Then slowly progress as she feels more and more comfortable with you. She needs a bit of space but i'm sure it would be nice for her to have someone else while she is getting over him.

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al-Mu'akhkhir

word

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Cerpin Taxt

I am somewhat in the same position with a girl I've known for years. We've always had an underlying connection, but that was first established when she was going out with a good friend of mine. I never showed my feelings when they were going out, and always helped my buddy when I could when things with him and her got rough.

That was almost 3 years ago now though, and since then they've split and she's gone out with a complete douche for the past 2 years (and I went out with a different girl for 1 year).... but they just broke up last weekend.

I've been compelled to see her and let her know how I really feel and whatnot (even though part of me feels she already knows)... but at the same time, I have done nothing of the sort to pressure her or make her feel I am trying to capitalize on her current situation. I simply let her know that if she ever needed someone to talk to, I'd be there.

I'm looking for something serious with this girl, if anything, and I am not the type of guy to squander that by rushing into things. Rushing things with a girl who's only a week out of a 2 year relationship (no matter how shitty it may have been at times) simply makes no sense for my situation. I respect her feelings and understand that a relationship that's gone on for that long isn't forgotten overnight, just as I'm sure she understands the same.

Patience is self-suffering... but no matter what the risk of my course of action, the far-reaching potential of it far outweighs any reasoning for me to act otherwise.

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my_scatterheart

toast, sir, don't hold anything back on my account. The male perspective is the male perspective is the male perspective.
It's not like I don't see some truth in it.
To say "get it out of your head that she is the only girl available" is completely on point. To say get it out of your head that "she is somehow unique or special." Is pretty bullshit, and I think you know that.
People that come at me in that manner can be picked out of a crowd easily. It's not hard to distinguish someone who is interested in me as a person [which WOW...includes a vag] and someone who is still under the impression that women are just meat to spin around your dick. Most of the time it's not offensive as much as it is plain fucking annoying. To tell him to subscribe to theories that turn him into the latter will be detrimental to him down the line.
You will say that these practices have gotten you laid time and again, that they are fruitful to you. To you I say, congrats on whatever works with your life. But not many can roll with that. The average man who plays that hand will be shot down by anyone worth any effort.
Also, I think it's kind of shitty to tell some kid who's into this girl he knows that she isn't anything special. Sure, he probably wont marry the girl. But that makes her not special? That makes her not worth the respect of courting? Give me a break. You sir, are special, are you not? You sir, have something to offer that the average clown does not, amirite? Give strangers the respect you demand of others. Otherwise you're just a jerkoff.

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